evening on the ground
and there is no one else around
so you will
blame me for the rocks and baby bones
and broken lock on our
garden wall of eden
full of spiderbites and all your lovers
we were born to f*** each other
one way or another
but i’ll only lie
down by the waterside at night
- from Down by the Waterside (Lilith’s Song) Iron & Wine*
To be alive is to be burning. -N. Mailer
New Moon Aries Solar Eclipse, Friday, April 8, 2005 1:32 PM PST
We’re easily caught up, the pace of life is the quickening of beginnings. All the personal planets except Mars in cardinal signs, in the ‘getting on with things’ manifesto of Aries its easy to feel our trailblazing energy. The energy is impulsive, like a knee jerk reaction to the bondages of winter, what made it through is alive and kicking. God bless him, the pope finally left in body, but in spirit his death has renewed age-old arguments.
As the cycle unfolded from the full moon two weeks ago, Easter rose like the holy ghost, with Venus and the Sun and brought the feminine back to life. We see powerful women in the news, her tragedies and triumphs. Unfortunately, this is the state we meet her, Terry Schiavo kept artificially alive for years, with no life of her own save the machines of science, to which we owe her mechanized breathing. Nourishment is so vital to the feminine, and we meet her eating through tubes, counter to Venus’ love of food’s sensual pleasure. For Venus life without sensual pleasure is a life not worth living.
Jane Fonda just published a book ‘My Life So Far’, a self-described ‘lightening rod’ personality. She was the outspoken heroine, both Barbarella and war activist, truly a Venus in Aries type. She speaks of self-sacrifice, how she changed her self for every man she partnered with by becoming whoever he wanted her to be. She’s also still defending her anti-war stance 30 years later, some Vietnam Vets still call Hanoi Jane a traitor- for visiting and dialoguing with the ‘enemy’.
I’m reminded of Lilith, the original Eve. Completely written out of history by the Church’s secularization, her story is found in Hebrew texts, the Talmud. Lilith was Adam’s first mate, they fought all the time. She wanted equality and he disagreed. She wants to be on top some of the time, he wants her beneath him. And so, she leaves. Enter Eve as the domesticated good girl, a stepford wife accepting her place as lower than Adam’s. Eve fed Adam the apple, but it was Lilith (now the serpent according to the new bible) who gave Eve the apple. As women, we feel this story in our bones, grieving a little bit each time a woman is judged, suppressed, denied her voice or even natural life cycle. We feel Lilith’s banishment to the netherlands of the earth, understanding her choice of life without personal relationship as a sad consequence to one filled with inequalities.
Aries energy is ‘the beginning’ part of ‘in the beginning’- Arian beginnings appear straightforward and intuitively logical, the rush of spring. Straight shooter Aries so quickly forgets the road behind, the mountain climbed, and this leads to unnecessary battles & false starts. Impulse doesn’t have memory; in the rush for ‘beginning’ we may forget that each of us has a larger score card to settle. The tools may appear as worldly forms of new achievement and acquisitions, but we’re tooling around in the soil of the original garden – our agreement to the very essence of truth to self and others. This is the agreement drawn for us, before time, by the infinite. A contract beyond the life events of periodic costume changes, the obligations we’re here to make good. What is the mission you’ve been elected by us all to fulfill? If you’re growing & evolving us all, you’re shaking the tree to make good on this promise.
We sense this in the solar eclipse; part of a series of eclipses Saros 129 includes 80 eclipses spanning about 1,425 years, the last one occurring March 29, 1987. For this series, history reflects issues of secular vs. sacred power, regime changes, sexuality and procreation. Lilith’s legacy of banished identity became sexualized; what was one part of her became constellated into larger than life shaming. Remember, this ‘original sin’ was born of inequality, not lasciviousness. What happens when something essential is denied? Lilith/Eve has become all the guilt of Eden-sexually wild, untamable, and free to love whomever she pleases, not to be confused with lack of moral fiber, contrary to popular opinion. Case in point: So-called ‘Desperate Housewives’ women want to enjoy the accomplishments of housework and vibrant sexual lives. Simultaneously, perchance? Now that’s good viewing! The only desperate thing about this show is America’s starvation for some apple pie eroticism. Certainly this has nothing to do with the current moral climate of conservatism. All hail the erotic life!
Eclipses have the potential for unexpected shake-ups, beginnings and endings, the variation in intensity depends on how it aspects your natal chart. To some degree, almost all of us have begun a new phase in life, one chapter beginning, and one closing. If this is hard to discern, that’s the nature of eclipse- out of the blue happenings occur just as easily as obscuration & removals. Due to the positions of Venus & North Node with New Moon all square Saturn, in this new road you’re trailblazing, you have the potential to create great change and thus great karma aka consequence of action. Before you move ahead into that gleaming Ferrari promise of desire, look in the rearview mirror. Take stock: Yes, that’s you, gorgeous. You are in the driver’s seat and where you are now in life is a consequence of every choice you’ve made. That’s power for you alone, to make choices even when appearances dictate the circumstances. Reflect on this and give yourself, in true Arian spirit, a running head start.
4/08 The New Moon, Sun, Venus and Node in Aries square Saturn. This emphasizes the frustration and pain of relationship or financial needs right now; what you want is at odds with the reality of the situation and this is painful. Maybe someone has left the picture. Pallas Athene, the Goddess of truth-to-self faces off with Juno, Goddess of loyalty to another. This powerfully procreative eclipse impels us: ‘do something’! Turn your frustration into initiative; let yourself get caught up in a passionate scheme of your own initiative. Warning: the time is ripe for troublemaking, too. Fantasy is heightened with Mars and Neptune float with New Moon in a too good to be true trine. The movie ‘Sin City’ opens this weekend, perfect for this combination of edgy sexuality meets illusion.
The end of the weekend begins Sun square Saturn seriousness, exact 4/10 and the trend can be felt a day earlier and extend through mid-week. Sunday is a day of effort; obstacles may appear Herculean and irritating. Remember some obstacles are a matter of mindset, others are quite tangible. We may sulk or continue forward until mid afternoon throws a confusing curveball. Watch for overexertion, as you push and possibly suffer a setback. Take a break, its all enough to test the patience of a saint. Late evening, sleep restfully in the accomplishment of knowing your limitations.
4/11- 4/14 Over the next few days, strange passive-aggressive behavior is king (see 4/13). Some reprieve comes on 4/12 when Mercury goes direct for less hassles in transportation, communication, paperwork and computer snafus. An early morning glitch is just course-correction. By afternoon, we’re optimistic and clear-minded, more or less.
4/13 is a charismatic day that starts of with a potential misfire- an early morning Mars/Neptune exact conjunction. With this ambiguous and slightly off focus pair, sexual/physical energy meanders and easily finding itself in a whole lotta trouble without really knowing what happened. Mars rules cars so pay attention while driving. This energy extends backward and forward a few days. Later in the day 4/13, intensity and focus create opportunity for greater precision. Exchanges of value, financial or interpersonal, are best accomplished late evening.
4/15-16 Venus enters Taurus on a Moon in Cancer day. ‘The safety of objects’ makes us feel loved and secure– possessions of people and things provide satisfaction. For the next month, love is the art of mutual appreciation in relationships and bank accounts. The pleasures that money can buy, yes, but also the sensual abundance of nature and creature comforts like good food and company. Remember, true style, just like true appreciation of another’s essence, cannot be bought or sold. Venus in her home sign teaches us to value meaningful indulgences of the senses. What is an essential pleasure for you? We learn that by treating ourselves we enhance self-worth.
Venus provides fodder for the evening of 4/15, when we may feel emotionally tested by all we think we don’t have. Saturn on this first quarter square commits to a course of action, within limits. By the evening of 4/16 things are upbeat and chatty, carrying through Sunday 4/17, as both are a green light for fun with friends.
4/19 Sun moves into Taurus finding the collective turn toward natural resources, where to find ‘em, how to keep ‘em. No doubt, oil, liquid gold, continues to headline the news. Like any good Taurus, we want to use our inner resource to create wealth & substance. Now is the time to appreciate the earth with early morning nature hikes, anywhere with scenic, lush vegetation. Springtime fruits and vegetables bloom, buy from your local farmers market. Gardens beg to be sown, dirt never smelled so clean. Mother Nature makes it look so easy-so don’t forget to give gratitude on Earth day, 4/22.
4/22 moon in Libra joins Jupiter for some attitude of gratitude. Early morning generosity extends throughout the day, enhancing our relationships. The evening is sweet and soulful, perfect for enjoying music, artistic or spiritual pursuits.
On 4/23 the moon fills up with light for a full moon lunar eclipse in the sign of the Scorpion. Like the soap opera ‘Passion’, magnetism is high and relationships have potential for hopeful new developments. The light of the moon has almost reached her maximum, yet the sun crosses her path for some temporary obscurations. Stay tuned-
****From the EP release Woman King
For you with email firewalls or delicate sensibilities, I use f*** to kindly soften the 4-letter word.
Sometimes the angels are cursing gravelly-voiced men from Florida. Hallelujah! Sam Beam gives us a heartfelt tribute to rescue and revive the inner feminine- as shamed, repressed and ultimately heroic.
‘Let Love Eclipse Your Fear’ Bonus: In perfect timing, I received a solution for this New Moon’s Saturn (fear) Venus (love) conflict. Right now, I’m saying this prayer for you: Let Fear eclipse your Love no longer!
A psychology professor asks his students for their thoughts on Love and Fear. The music is Love and Fear by Morcheeba. (you’ll need flash)
You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. ~Hal Borland
You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. Anne Lamott
Scorpio Full Moon Lunar Eclipse, Sunday, April 23, 2005 3:06 AM PST
Biting into a crisp Asian pear, a white nectarine. Smelling an exquisite tea rose. Drinking the expanse of crisp linen clouds on a perfect azure sky. Body sensation stops you. It stops everything. The mind, the ticker tape mind full of everyday anxieties and thoughts, it interrupts like a cell phone. Only better, because its communication invites all parts of your self to participate. It’s like an invitation into the present and you have no choice but to answer. Body, mind and spirit merge in a physical gestalt; limbs and senses suddenly grow little hungry baby mouths. Satisfaction is near.
The yearning of the body-mouth is Taurus’ dominion. Temptation is around every corner, Eve’s apple. What if I bit into this? What would it taste, smell, feel like? How would this enhance my world? We enter the realm of the senses for a certain kind of satisfaction, one that will give us a different appreciation of self, body and life. Don’t underestimate the sensual world; these are identity-changing experiences. A lover can initiate you into a previously dormant part of your self. A picnic in the park on a warm spring day, your favorite fruits and berries, olives and cheeses can rejuvenate and almost erase the darkest night of the soul. Enter the senses and enter the body’s deepest longing for pleasure. This isn’t polite pleasure, but the delicately mastered, magnificently designed taste buds on the tongue of God, explicitly for your pleasure, thank you. This is the realm of the body, where all conscious thought is subordinate to body power, the realms of Taurus and Scorpio.
The human fear of sensual domination is a practical evolutionary strategy. It is possible to become numbed by pleasure, by the body’s willingness to be led by desire. And this threatens the mind’s fear of being irretrievably seduced by the body’s pleasures. The mind/spirit is masculine, the body feminine. The Aries new moon solar eclipse ushered in regime changes, all of which continue to highlight struggle between body and spirit-the church chooses hard line doctrine over inclusiveness, and continues the war against the body politic of the feminine. In domestic news, a pharmacist refuses to sell the morning-after pill and religious groups start a lawsuit on his behalf. The republican attempts for Supreme Court control plays out like this: for freedom of women’s choice, against choice. The debate is so hot; the republicans want to filibuster the 200 year 60% majority rule for justice-elects. Then there’s Hanoi Jane Fonda, whom a Vietnam Vet recently spit on at her book signing, her sympathy for human life over war is still labeled anti-patriotic. The issues are volatile; the gun is still pointed at the feminine body.
Throughout our days on earth, the body symbolizes the feminine, and the feminine embodies the temptation of flesh. The word embodiment implies a taking on of qualities, the word into form. The Earth does this naturally, growing, blossoming, decaying, reclaiming. She knows that in this completely transitory experience of desire, pleasure is much more fulfilling and a lot less threatening when we give up our attachment to owning a person, a thing, a body or ideology. Wouldn’t it be great to learn from her wisdom? Attachment to anything has the potential to make the mind smaller, narrower. We could say its addictive, totally habit forming. She holds onto nothing, has all the sex she wants and ends up with more than she started. I wonder if she’s satisfied?
Here’s the deal: we sacrifice the bull. Every bull needs to stand for something and Taurus is chomping at the bit to get at this, her hooves raising all this smoke and dust. The bull wants value, quality, truth and beauty, consistency, stability. In the truest sense of the phrase she wants ‘good moral values’. But she thinks there is a sacrifice to make, a tradeoff of flesh for spirit. The inner conflict leads the bull to slaughter instead of sacrifice and the round robin goes something like this: ‘if I don’t give in to my deepest wants I suffer. I need to feel connected to the depth and richness of the sensual life. But (great commander ego mind speaking) its power to ensnare me is gnarly.’ Why is this happening? Mother Earth Taurus whispers back: Have confidence in your inherent self-worth, your ability to hold it, protect it and share it. Imagine a world exists where every life decision you make is in total congruence with your divine, deserved worth. Wow, everyone is treating one another really well, the earth is no longer crying and we all look 10 years younger! Instead, the animal mind questions your integrity, your ability to value yourself and others: Want to eat the whole box of chocolates, have fantasy come true sex with a lover, relish half a pot roast with caramelized potatoes in one sitting? Well, says the Pope clan, you’ll lose your mind- your full-belly will surely lead you to a dark alley corner fiending for your next taste of the forbidden fruit. Truth and Beauty just got in a train wreck with a Dionysian mind-orgy.
The demon lover of sensuality blocks the church’s very noble purpose. Does it make sense that Pope John Paul II was a Taurus? He so happened to highlight fundamentalist conflict with body desire very well. The bull is trying to unite all earthly creatures and things with their own natural beauty. Our duty is to take the legacy of the Pope a step further, to beautify and unite the spirit and the flesh. We’re human beings made in reflection of the Divine. This means we get to have sex with our higher self, just like the Divine does every day. So we look deep within the papal coffers of our heart and ask: where am I divided from you, my heart’s desire? What do I want but am afraid of having? What practical tool will create enough personal safety to fully accept the beauty in the truth of my body’s desires? And, an important question: do I really want what I think I do? Sometimes desire is like that-fleeting. With Taurus, what you choose to bring into your life absolutely must be substantial, safe, and enhance your personal worth. To do this rightly, you must first know you are loved. You must know the worth of both your body and spiritual desire totals nothing less than your weight in gold.
This emotional lunar eclipse stirs up emotions of desire and ambiguity. In addition to the sexual and procreative energy of the eclipse 2 weeks ago, introduce strong Mars/Neptune element. We’re not sure if desires are coming from within or without, maybe we’re unclear on the exact message, with the number of upcoming Neptune transits, this may continue through the next 2 weeks. If you’re uncertain about motivations and desires of self or another, try not to fall prey to paranoia or attacks of insecurity. In divine timing, this weekend is the celebration of Wesak, Buddha’s enlightenment. Sit in meditation under the moon and watch your thoughts and desires mix like paints, marbling, moving, separate, blending. We may be both hypersensitive and soul-felt, depending on the instrument of our heartstrings, deeply played or pulled. There’s plenty of honesty, boldly highlighting physical, sexual and joint financial questions. Although Mercury doesn’t meet its shadow point until April 30 (and we’re still somewhat under clean-up mode from retrograde period) Mercury’s direct motion finally supports clear thinking. With Pluto sesiquadrate Venus, any burr under your skin just highlights necessity for eliminating a relationship irritation. Fancy footwork relationship conundrums are in the works: but a creative yod with Jupiter, Uranus and Venus gives you footloose skills a la Kevin Bacon. It’s clearly a time to for re-negotiating relationship models, so find ways to keep your relationships growth positive, stimulating, lively and expansive. What’s your forbidden fruit? Take a bite.
4/25 & 4/26 give us a spirited sense of possibility after the renewing full moon. 4/25 morning, shake off the dreamy sleepy time and put your enthusiasms to use by putting the pedal to the metal and accomplishing something. Slow down around dinnertime. 4/26 afternoon into evening gear us up for the following day when Mercury opposes Jupiter, lift off into grand schemes of all sorts. Anticipate Mercury/Jupiter antics ahead of time so you don’t fall prey to trickster sleights of hand-sloppy planning, harried or rushed energies, spreading yourself too thin and your easy ride loses it’s ground in a foxhole. 4/27 If you find yourself with big ideas right now, you’re on the right track. Hey big talker, remember not to get too cocksure as your confidence is already on a first class flight to Austria with an expired passport in your jean pocket. But if you mind the details, all is a success. Everything already in the works- contracts, negotiations, financial arrangements and travel are all furthered. 4/28 Moon in Capricorn and we’re kissing the ground again, sans casualties. With the Sun, Venus and Moon in Earth signs, we take pleasure in material pursuits, catching up with friends and settling down a bit. 4/28 Keep the evening light as what starts out pleasantly light receives mixed signals by evening’s end when judgment wanders over to ogle the high rollers at concourse bar and finds you foot in mouth, cold busted. If you don’t know Swedish, don’t try and impress your lingual skills upon the Swedish model. We’re just not speaking the same language here, Captain. The temptation to make promises may outreach your ability to fulfill. 4/29 jet lag sets in, mid-afternoon. The body is tired, take your emergen-c and the doldrums pass. 4/29-4/30 Venus square Neptune alert: You’re completely delusional. Somehow you’ve convinced yourself you actually have a chance with the Swedish model. She’s distracted, non-committal and more taken by her martini than by you. You totally ignore the finer points of engagement, missing the crucial details in favor of the long distance relationship of your dreams. Dream is the keyword, we’re easily taken by our own fantasies and dreams and can project that onto someone or something of value. Neptune is subtle, subtle like a fox. There’s no outrunning the relationship disillusionment and possible loss in the works during this aspect. During fox mating season, human-sounding screams can be heard from the backyards of city-dwellers. Take this as a clue. If you must play with the vixen, don’t try and pet the wild animal. Watch from afar. As luck would have it, 4/29 Sun sextile Uranus, available for flashes of insight and reason. Little strokes of genius, you’re the mad scientist playing with a chemistry set and you ‘a-ha’ onto something unique. Use this day for creative change, shaking up stale routines. An imaginative adventure is much more fun and fruitful than planning the future right now. This can just as easily animate your intellectual powers as your personal magnetism. 4/30 sees the last quarter moon in Aquarius with reception to Uranus in Pisces, Neptune on Moon. Energy is shifting as Mars moves from air sign Aquarius into watery Pisces where he’ll remain until mid-June. The planet of sexual, physical energy, assertion and aggression is not so confident in Pisces. Actions can be scattershot, anger repressed or expressed inappropriately, sexual fantasies are heightened. After a spring inoculation of planets in assertive Aries, we’ll definitely see energy move from confident to laissez-faire behavior. We just don’t know how to appropriately let off steam, so it comes out messy all over the place or just sits there and bubbles. When witnessing this behavior in others know that they may not be aware of the cause of their strange emotional sessions of acting up. Likewise, you may be doing a strange dance where you’re hiding from yourself. Strategy: over the next month and a half, we’re not sure exactly where we’re headed, so any argument or volatile disruption needs sensitivity and compassion. Don’t count on a straight answer from Mars in Pisces-it’s just too confusing! Standard Rx for the Pisces bewilderment-artistry and spiritual pursuits of the non-rational. May Day, May Day, moon too close to Neptune! Sit and watch the clouds pass. Highly unlikely to pass go, so don’t count on the Swedish model to return the call. 5/02 moon on Mars wants the green light, and maybe you even fantasize about what you would do with that $200. But then you wind up at the water cooler for a drink of water and are off on another daytrip. What happened? It’s all tangential and fleeting isn’t it? 5/03 Clear the decks for consciousness. This is the day when we can do as Dr. Phil and ‘get real’. Liven up yourself, your relationships by being straightforward and true to self. Have a conversation with partnerships of all forms, re-committing to the substance of the relationship. A good day for a heart to heart, you’ll be met with receptivity because your words appear sweet and soft today, no matter that you’ve been stewing in that Mars in Pisces kettle for days. 5/04-5/05 Moon in Aries, energized and open to spontaneity for the celebrations of Cinco de Mayo. Strange, dark dreams may occur early morning 5/04. 5/05 starts us out eager and ready for anything, but by evening feels relaxed, easy and impressionable. The perfect night for sitting by the water and watching the boats pass. The Swedish model strikes back! By 5/06, 5/07 you’re back in the States when you discover all the emails sent and phone calls placed to Stockholm Vixie reached some cafÃ© clerk in Lapland–and she’s sick and tired of all your crank calls. Sure, blame Mercury square Saturn for poor communication, crossed wires. Negotiations are not favored, we’re serious-minded and wrestling with a conundrum is best accomplished alone. This can lead to a pessimistic introspective couple of days, or a scholarly adventure to the library of self-realization. ‘Why did she do this to me?’ morphs into the facts of the matter. It may be hard not to spin out into unrealistic versions of reality as Neptune squares Sun on 5/07. Physically and psychically, low energy predominates right before the new moon. But Saturn helps you stick with what is right in front of your nose, by thinking practically you eventually reach a solution, even if it takes a few days to get your head together. Until then, re-imagine the story, this time with reality and all its cold hard truth as your partner, instead of conspirator.