I never considered my self a brooder, but it’s the Scorpio Sun in the air and I’m having some feelings lately. About things I’d thought I’d buried and put to rest, but really aren’t. I think of the phrase “burying the hatchet” and realize that the hatchet is still a hatchet, and it’s a hatchet. Certain things still have teeth, and are subject to revival and renewal during the Scorpio Sun season. For example, I’ve become recently convinced that because a friend who hasn’t returned my phone calls, it probably means she doesn’t love me any more. I know, maybe she’s just…busy. Nah. I’m certain she’s got an opinion about something I did or said (which of course, I don’t know about and she won’t tell me) and she’s probably removed me from list of birthday cards along with having cut me out of her will. As thoughts are added like dry timber added to this small ember of hurt, a small fire starts to grow and then roar. Well -she was always so NICE, but you know what they say, the brighter the light the darker the shadow. The reality of what’s happening hits me in rapid fire. I think several things all at once a) I sure want her to love me b) gosh, is this what my Scorpio friends grow through? and c)woah, that’s how resentments begin. With a small pinprick to the heart. A smart a** comment here or there. So casually. So, oops!
The evolution of a grudge: born of misunderstanding, nursed by an idle imagination, and an inability to take emotional action. Held in place by a relationship impasse or pure refusal. And fueled by resentment. Definitely. Read more
I was cruising to class the other morning listening to the radio and tuned into a song I really enjoyed. I hadn’t remembered hearing it before, but when I turned the dial, it was as though a piece of the transcendent had dialed me in. Love. It. Sang. It was a overwhelmingly sweeping relief. I had been in an edged out zone, a tenuous tightrope of a mood somewhere in between absolutely calm and no man’s land. I realize that lately my emotional state is influenced by the energy circulating. These are tense times, and part in parcel to this tension is holding room for paradox: I look around me and see a beautiful life filled with people I love, I enjoy the activities I enjoy, while breathing the collective air of uncertainty and fear. There are questions, and right now they have an Aries Moon flavor, invoking our vital warriorship: how will my livelihood be affected? How can I remain relevant? Where do I fit in here? And how can I be a force for good amid war, chaos, uncertainty? Many of us are inhabiting this paradox of living between two worlds and wondering just what to make of it. Read more
I’m at a hotel in Versailles. And all I can think is, of all places to be. As the world banking institutions hover on low panic, and the VP debates just hours awayare stirring international press to a barely tolerable frenzy, we’re staying a mere two blocks away from the Palace of Versailles, home of the infamous Marie Antoinette, the most unapologetically indulgent Queen of France who was lovingly referred to as “the defecit of France” by her beloved people. The same ones who later sent her to the guillotine. It is for this surreal reason, and at this strange turning point in history, that when I deeply consider the paradox, I do belive this is the perfect time to be a few steps away from the chateau d’ Marie. In a world mad with politics of war and of men, Marie was charmingly feminine, and sensually human during a similar crisis of unrest. Marie entertained, socialized, schmoozed, shopped and scandalously chose her company by the rapport they shared (not their station in life). Far from thrilled to be Queen, Marie did however, love the high life and the boogie and the parties her lifestyle allowed. Marie knew how to relax. Eventually this made French folks fairly uncomfortable. Read more