Saturn-Venus Transits: When Love Is Not Enough

2004-05. It was a Saturn-Venus transit, Saturn conjunct my natal Cancer Venus and Vesta conjunction, when I began practicing my most potent and life-changing law of attraction work. I knew I wanted to attract the love of my life, and that I was R-E-A-D-Y. But I also knew that wishful thinking, separated from personal accountability and working on the core issues that were keeping me in spin out cycles of attracting, and falling for, the wrong guy, added up to exactly that: wishful thinking. After one final spin-out, I decided I needed to show the Gods that I wasn’t a wimp, and that I was up to the task of learning about my blind spots and blocks and so knowing Saturn rewards hard work and perseverance, I took action, putting intention into concrete acts like: rituals, spell casting, prayerful walks, reciting mantras, writing letters to cupid, making peace with my loneliness, working out my father issues. That period was marked by the practical application of Saturn’s tools, steady self-discipline, diligence, alone-time, accountability, taking responsibility for my entire experience. I was willing and also able to do the work because Saturn, unlike other Gods, is a fair one in that he gives you the formula, which essentially is to make friends with your own solitude and work hard. I knew I wasn’t growing small potatoes either; with my actions I was seeding the next 28 year Venus cycle. Appropriately, a friend named the house I lived in during that time, a one room studio in law tucked away on the edge of a canyon, “The Hermitage”.

2011-12. A Saturn-Venus square this time. Fast-forward thru 7 years of togetherness, 6 of those in marriage.  Now I’m claiming my need for space, solitude and I am not happy. I am not happy doing the brunt of the domestic chores; I am not happy in my role as co-parent and domestic partner. I need far more solitude, as I am also feeling crowded out as an introvert in a house of extroverts, always tired, never seeming able to find the space to restore my energy. This is also happening while the Uranus-Pluto square clobbers half my chart. I finally get a clear vision of what needs to happen. We need to re-negotiate everything from our expectations of one another (if you say you will be home at a certain time, and you’re not, I will not cook dinner) to the physical living space of our home life, which had, for all these years, been set up so clearly for the kids (when we drew up a blueprint for said space re-negotiation, to my horror, I saw the  kids’ footprint was 75% to our 25%). I hire a Feng Shui space consultant who says my office,  a sun room that dangles off the corner of our house and the space I’ve spent every day in for 7 years, is a space that is energetically suited for leaving the nest. No wonder I’d fantasized about building a yurt on our property which I will live in; no wonder I long for my old hermitage, a Saturn-Venus “room of my own”. I need a new office. Also, I am afraid if we don’t take concrete steps to change our relationship dynamic, I will leave the relationship altogether. A Saturn transit has a final straw quality to it, and when that happens, so to dawns realism and clarity. A First Quarter Saturn-Venus square demands action, and not unlike the conjunction, it’s the practical application of tools, persistent steps taken, boundaries drawn and personal accountability that is pulling me/”Us” through. Mutual and self- respect is all important. Tuning into the self-respect I feel when I successfully express and honor my feelings and desires, not so much so that he will change, but for the integrity I experience when I honor myself, has been key.

Today as I write this, Saturn turns direct exactly square my Venus. I’m at the tail end of this Saturn-Venus square, and I’ve got more grey hairs, but also more wisdom. It feels good to finally be at the point of positive change, instead of slogging it out in the eternal trenches of  re-structuring. Slowly, in a steady drip, life’s sweetness is returning, love’s sweetness. I love my husband and soul mate to pieces, but during Saturn-Venus I had entered a time when love had nothing to do with it.

image source: Apres Ski

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Sunrise says:

    Great post Jessica.

    Saturn just turned direct on my Venus today, and I am doing that very Saturn alone time that you speak of!

    Relationship of four years broke up in May and now I am living on my own in an extremely small apartment. I am going to call it the Hermitage 🙂

    I feel like I am ready for the Real Deal and won’t settle for anything less.

    I am enjoying having my own space for a few months until I move, although it is lonely at times, I did choose it.

    I am putting one big rubber ‘finished’ stamp on my relationship patterns of the past and taking a breather before I choose carefully who I will be with (hopefully one day!)

    I am so glad Saturn went direct today.

  2. Michele says:

    Jessica, this is powerful. I am glad to hear you made if safely through that transit. It’s not an easy one I am sure. Your words will hold wisdom for the rest of us who may face this in the future and will remember echos of what you faced and will be able to recognize what needs to be done. Beautifully expressed!

  3. Kudos to us both, Sunrise! Saturn conjunct Venus, with the aforementioned formula, is quite capable of delivering The Real Deal. Drawing boundaries around who you are willing to live with and not, their behaviors, etc, is like a line in the sand demarcating The Real Deal from No Deal. Saturn likes lines in the sand 😉 and listens to those who are willing to do the work and wait. Best of luck.

  4. Thank you for your sweet words, Michele! Not quite but almost out of the woods…

  5. Sunshine Sparkle says:

    Ha, the penny has just dropped…current Saturn in Libra has been squaring my natal Venus in Capricorn for months and months….a-HA! I’ve learnt a lot about boundaries – needing to set mine- and realising I need my own space (hubby working from home since last year), and that it’s OK to ask for that. We took a wall down to make open plan living a few years back, and there is NOwhere that is MY space anymore, it’s all kids (4 of them) and hubby. Feel really relieved reading your post, it’s all making sense, and I feel the slow dawning of a new era. THANK YOU Jessica! Much love x

  6. Anonymous says:

    This is an awesome, honest post that really helps me to understand both how astrology plays out as well as relationships. the 7 year itch is the Saturn square.

  7. Geoffrey Bourne says:

    Some very useful info in your comments good people.Hey,don’t forget who decided to have kid’s in the first place,Saturn sure mirrors our lack of taking personable responsibility,not saying you guys aren’t doing that.
    My girl friend has Venus in Aquarious being squared by Saturn in Scorpio as I type this.Her sister is asking her for money!.My girlfriend has always had insecurity around money.
    there is much tension in her relationships and talk of ending some relationships.
    It is sometimes very difficult to know if to end a relationship or if it is worth persevering.
    I have often wanted to end relationships and not done so and now I feel really stuck in stale relationships.
    It is hard to stand on ones own two feet,go with the transits and keep growing.
    Meditation helps me but it is still tough.I will soon have Saturn opposite my Natal Venus in Taurus,Before that I have to deal with the Uranus,Pluto square on my natal Sun/Mars conjunction in Cancer,Jupiter and Mars join in the transit forming a powerful grand cross transit,any ideas?.

    Saturn always brings testing times hey.
    May the Gods be with you.
    Love ,Geoffrey

  8. swammy3mommy says:

    Bravo! been tracing some saturn influences tracking from 2009… I stopped and sweated when I read those words, wait, did I write this, that is exactly what happened during lst yr for me, we have similar influences here. yr 12 of my marriage being home full time with the kids, which I choose and claim as the best yrs of our life, so far… I squeezed myself out of the pix, as the kids get older needed to expand my space in my Universe and house again… felt good to hear those written words….working it out…

  9. I really liked this article, it really touched me.
    We’ve all experienced these things.

    I was glad to read to read that there is a way to change the dynamic of a relationship because currently I am in a state that all I think about is how to do that. I would appreciate your help Jessica, and I actually emailed you about it.

    Congratulations on this article!

  10. wow. I don’t know how to figure out where saturn is to my venus, but I have just finished creating a sacred work and rest space in the other dwelling on our property, for the very reasons you talked about – a feeling of being trapped in a role that I am not suited for, a growing desperate feeling that I am not living the way that I am meant to and a feeling of being held hostage to other people’s desires. Now, I have my own sacred space, and I feel like a different woman 🙂

  11. I was informed that my Saturn Venus transit will begin on April 27 2016 and be ready for a love I’ve been waiting for about 4 years ago I started liking my coworker and I ended a relationship and the last 4 years I was so alone hoping something would blossom but nothing ever happened. I’m hoping this time around I’m rewarded with the love I truly deserve.

  12. I am going through a Saturn in Sagittarius transit over my Venus in the 5th House opposite the Moon and this Saturn is presently squared by Jupiter in Virgo forming a T square with my Gemini Moon in the 11th.

    I am feeling depressed and without any inspiration to pursue my hobbies as a musician and writer. Wondering where to find hope to make my wishes and dreams come true. There doesn’t seem to be enough money to invest in them right now either. I am finding some solace in solitude and trying to drum up some enthusiasm but don’t feel much like celebrating. It’s been a tough year with the economy and the money and opportunities that I’ve enjoyed in the past don’t seem to be here right now. It seems as if all of the things I’d like to do that would make me happy are more trouble than they’re worth right now. Waiting for this to pass over as I’m usually a happy soul at heart.

  13. Samantha says:

    Saturn will conjoin my natal 1st house Venus in August. It’s going to be a super long transit because Saturn’s in retrograde and when it turns direct, it will be a few degrees from exact. I will also have Saturn sextile my 5th house ruling planet, Mars in late December.

    I also have a sextile progression between Mercury, 7th house ruling planet and Mars, my 5th house ruling planet. I’m hoping I begin a love relationship this year. I feel I’m ready. I’ve been doing great work while Saturn’s been transiting my 1st house–getting to the root of my feelings of unworthiness and everything else that’s stopped me from finding love in the past. So I’m hoping during this Saturn conjunct Venus transit I’ll meet someone.

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