Aries Full Moon: Born This Way

I was feeling very vulnerable last week, struggling with feeling too open and too emotionally raw. You know those times when you feel too tender, too fragile, when just about anything can set you over the edge? I was on that edge.

Then I watched Lady Gaga’s new documentary 5’2”. I was immediately struck by her rare vulnerability. When she hurt, she openly wept; when she felt raw and messy, she let everyone know; when she accidentally hit her producer’s car on the day she was recording with Florence (of Florence + the Machine), she shared how upset she was about that, how exhausted she was, apologized profusely. She cried with her fans, cried when her manager called her with news about her cancer. She fell apart while receiving myriad treatments for a debilitating chronic pain condition (while a make-up artist tried to pull her face together for an interview happening minutes later). She allowed others to witness what she was feeling. No matter what was going on around her.

I walked away with a new heroine, vowing to be even more real than I already am, more vulnerable, expressive, more truthful – no matter how messy that looks. Because, frankly, our deepest source of strength is being true to our self-experience – in entirety.

We’re used to thinking that being a rock star is about projecting a perfected, controlled image (think: Beyonce. In the documentary Gaga makes a joke that every time she sees Beyonce and Jay-Z out she’s doing something unlady-like; she imagines Beyonce’s wondering how Gaga’s pulling this rock star thing off). I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone, rock star or no, more authentic than Gaga.

And this fear of being perceived as too messy, imperfect or vulnerable struck me as a woman’s issue: All this focus on who we are to others (Libra) versus who we are (Aries).

How often we censor our raw, messy experience because we think it makes us weak, crazy, too emotional, when actually it’s denying the truth of our real experience that weakens us. When we’re communicating our needs and feelings, when we’re in our raw honest truth it’s: diva behavior, or “that time of the month”, “bitchiness” “selfish”. So we don’t show up fully. We gloss over our feelings, or intellectualize them, instead of really feeling them.

Or do we go with feeling and sharing what we feel, trusting that those around us can take it?

We aren’t born afraid to be our selves. We aren’t born fearing what other people will do or say in response to us, what their reaction will be. It is learned behavior. It can be scary to be so real, so aligned, so honest, because it pushes other people’s buttons.

Because real-ness is scary to those who can’t be real in their own lives.

Authenticity is something to reject for those repressing the their truth.

Honesty is threatening to those who are unwilling to honestly look at their self.

I’ve seen this over and over. The more authentic and aligned I get, the more my alignment pushes buttons of those who are not. It’s like a freaky circus machine; I show up and like clockwork, I get the experience of learning exactly where another is out of alignment in their self. I used to let what they couldn’t handle give me pause about sharing my self. Until I learned that is not feedback about what I should or shouldn’t share– it’s feedback on who and where they are.

It is never wrong to stand in truth, to show up as how and who you are, to fall apart, if needed. Unlike rock stars, we don’t have people who are paid to stroke our Ego, pet our head soothingly and tell us what we want to hear when we want it. They will have their own reactions, and sometimes that hurts in the exact place we’re endeavoring to be so open – our raw, real, vulnerable heart.

The truth is: some people can’t handle the truth. That’s their problem, not yours. But it’s okay to protect your self if you’re feeling too open. Sometimes that means giving others the “what I tell my mom” version of your emotional well-being. Or texting news that you know someone will have a reaction around, giving them a chance to process their own feelings about it, first, instead of projecting those onto you, initially. This is the right use of Libra’s sensitive empathic energies (versus being non-responsive, non-confrontational or avoidant).

As the Libra Sun opposes the Aries Moon, your authenticity, honesty and real-ness is bound to meet a reaction from others. Now is not the time for gilding the truth, or avoiding it, but for strategizing the best, most compassionate, way for you to stay aligned. Every warrior needs a strategy. Try: looking out for you. Take care of what you need. Put your self first.

In ancient Astrology, Aries is the God-head, holding our Divine nature. In this age of constant distraction, divisiveness, when people feel entitled to share their opinion over just about everything, it’s a good thing to keep bringing your energy and focus back to youwhat you want, need, feel, like — and what you do not (just as important). More fully inhabiting the central I AM (God/Goddess) space, is the best defense we have against swirling energies, being thrown off center.

And there may be plenty we do not like. Saturn is square Venus and Mars in Virgo at this lunation. Princess and the Pea, much? We might find our selves feeling ultra sensitive and passionate about issues that, to others, may not seem like a big deal. But it is to us. And that’s ripe for exploration.

Lady Gaga is an Aries with ruling planet Mars joined Neptune. I’d say she knows a bit about holding center during chaotic, big energies. One of my favorite lines in the movie occurs when she’s giving instructions to her dancers, before her big Super Bowl performance. She says, “This is the stamina run. This is when you think you can’t, and you think you need to take an extra breath here or there. You don’t. You push through it, right? You’ve got to maintain your own sense of your Spirit. So when you’re out there, focus on you. Keep the focus on you. It can get very distracting out there with everything going on. This one is about staying grounded and biting it hard.”

This strikes me as sage advice for Aries Full Moon, when emotions and temperatures run hot and high. Things… other people, media noise, little emergencies, world events… can get distracting out there. Keep the focus on you. This one is about staying grounded –and biting it hard.

photo:Matthew Smith

Comments

  1. This really resonated with me me, as the Aries/libra axis is strong in my chart – Aries rising and Lilith opposing a Libran moon. It’s taken rime, but learning how to be my self wherever I am is incredibly important, and mostly, I’m seen as refreshingly honest ? In a world, where so few are.

  2. I kept trying to find which parts of this essay to quote and tell you how spot on it hit me, but practically every paragraph shimmered and glowed with hard-won truths of mine. Thank you for another stellar essay Jessica! xo (from a fellow moon goddess who’s emotional truth is often kept silent for fear of how it affects others)

  3. this came up for me twice today….hard to describe but ive given up alcohol…for now…and had a couple of weird reactions from people who i know are still ‘using’…synchronistic ? …if thats a word…post.
    thankyou x

  4. this full moon is conjunct my jupiter in the twelfth….expansive dreams…?

  5. and its my natal moon sign!

  6. I love your beautiful writing, Jessica! You always manage to write exactly what I need to hear with these moon blogs. As it happens, I’ve been going through an extremely difficult emotional time, punctuated by a mental health crisis. Some friends (most, actually) have not been able to hear the full details of the difficult events of my life in the last year which have led to this – which makes it all the more special, & appreciable, when someone DOES accept and welcome my feelings and sharing about them. I’ve been questioning myself, feeling like a burden, feeling guilty for being so intense & having such big dreams and apparently unfounded optimism. Thank you for reminding this Aries stellium (Moon-North Node-Jupiter + asteroids) that valuing my feelings is more important than squashing them to make others more comfortable, in this lifetime at least.

  7. Love this as an Aries moon it is perfect for me at this time and I am experiencing the shifts into authenticity with a more sensitive diplomatic approach to showing it to the ‘shy’ of heart. Interesting that I notice the same thing as I share ‘pains’ with some it becomes their story…we are one

  8. A great article Jessica! I saw the Gaga movie too and felt really moved as I too was feeling emotional anyway. Always felt a connection to this amazing lady and I feel she is here as an emissary for those with low self esteem and those who feel freakish etc . Gaga gives such a reassuring message that it’s great to be who you are! Also her vulnerability is a gamechanger as others can see Gaga is so vulnerable it breaks your heart and yet she is a heroine! My Libra Sun (10th house) opposing my Aries Moon (4th house) on i/c totally gets Gaga too.

  9. Wow, I loved this. Especially the part about how the more authentic, the more in alignment you get, the more it presses other people’s out-of-alignment places. That helps me to understand and not to take it so personally. I don’t know about you but I seem to be learning and morphing so much and so often that it really helps to have these daily checks ins with wise thinkers like yourself. It is taking a lot of practice and minute to minute courage to be as wide open and real as I truly am. Thank you. I get so much out of your wisdom and your ability to express subtle concepts.

  10. Thank you, Jessica, this is awesome and so resonates with me…I am a Libra rising with an Aries moon, Cap sun…learning that it’s ok to speak my truth and to take care of my needs has been a life long journey..and still a work in process. I really appreciate your words, they feel very validating ??

  11. this is so beautifully and eloquently written. Thank you! I would like to quote you on an instagram post but cannot find you there to tag you. please let me know what your IG is. Love and Light, Joann

  12. nevermind, I found you. lol

  13. Thank you, Joann, and also for posting me on Instagram. Maybe this will motivate me to get my work on that platform!

  14. yes, stellar writing, absolutely, i agree!
    “what you tell your mom version” ha ha ha ha – i could never tell her anything – i learned to be a great liar, and hide as much as possible – pretty sad for a chirpy aries… never mind… everyone is dead and gone now… so am learning it’s okay now to be me now and not get killed (most days, ha!)… – that’s so brilliant… to remember we trigger off stuff in other people..yet truly.. if i get to be me, then, so do you.. what a gift..mirroring to each other our true selves, how fantastic is that! xoxo thank you 🙂

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