What’s So Bad About Feeling Good?

“I know it sounds like I’m sticking my head in the sand, but I’ve stopped listening to the news, and I’m just doing what I enjoy…”

A client said this to me today, and I replied “good!” But why the self-admonition? Her statement reflected a consciousness circulating in the collective that reminds me of survivor guilt; after every tragedy, we feel guilty. In America, we feel guilty about feeling good when others are suffering. We feel guilty if we’re not reading the paper, if we’re white, if we’re not “doing something” effective (and we can’t name what that is). It’s Virgo Full Moon. Collective guilt and shame is UP.

(This shadowy consciousness especially preys on those of us who have been conditioned to be there for others — no matter the cost to our self.)

It’s as if we’re not on the front lines “making a difference” we are part of the problem. If we are not petitioning, angry, marching and participating in movements; if we are not reading the newspaper everyday in tears or anger, we are not upholding our role for healing humanity’s crisis. Yet, for most of us that energy only contributes to the dense energy field surrounding the “problem” (the painful growing pains of humanity’s evolving consciousness). We develop low level anxiety about things we know we wouldn’t normally feel anxious about. We feel unsafe. We feel afraid. Joyless. We start to feel like the world is an evil, bad place. We feel paranoid. We feel disconnected, from our goodness, from our Self.

Which is, incidentally, eerily similar to the way a “shooter” feels.

Einstein, a Pisces, once said, “You can’t solve a problem with the same energy that created it.” So, here we have it: by engaging this energy, we are attempting to solve the problem with the very same consciousness that created it. Our estrangement from Source cannot possibly solve being estranged from Source.

This is actually what is “wrong in the world.” Too many people estranged from their self, from their own heart and Soul, from their inherent goodness.

What to do? Pull back, and pull within. Unplug. Go for a walk in the mountains, to the beach, listen to music, sign up for a language class. Doing things we enjoy, in other words, lights us up and makes us feel connected to our Light and Good.

But… there’s a part of us who calls non-involvement with the external world’s problems, “burying my head in the sand.” Frankly, it insults our sweet Soul who stands for peace and love, firstly, within our selves.

I found myself wanting to go to the beach the other day, and thinking, no I can’t do that. Why not, I asked myself? Who makes these rules about what’s okay to do in the middle of a workweek on a clear and sunny afternoon – a perfectly good day for the beach? It begged me to ask the questions:
What’s wrong with feeling good?
What’s wrong with doing things we like, and not doing things we don’t enjoy?
What’s wrong with feeling okay?

Absolutely nothing.
In fact it’s ALL RIGHT.

When we feel good and peaceful we can only ever be a beacon for others’. Moreso, when we restore our selves to peace, we remind others how good it feels to take care of their selves –we remind the masses who are really confused about how to even begin to feel good in their minds and hearts!

“What can I do to help? What can I do to become a part of the solution?” Many kind, compassionate souls struggle with how to answer this question. The collective does need our help. It needs us to come home to our selves. It needs us to deprogram, to listen to inner messages we replay and deconstruct them.

For instance, “If you aren’t part of the solution you are part of the problem.” Let’s look at that statement. What is the solution – to gun control, war, greed, corruption? Jumping into the front line of war, fighting with words, being weepy for days? No, we perpetuate the problem. The opposite of violence of any kind is embodying the peace, care, healing and love we seek in the world.

What if WE are the solution? What if I feel peaceful and authentic and centered and deeply in touch with truth… then I share that with my client, who then shares that with her clients… and it all has a ripple effect? What if, someday someone on Capital Hill is signing a gun bill and feels a strange feeling in his heart, a foreign energy of love, and suddenly decides he will no longer stand for it?

What we are seeing right now with the movement of kids in Florida is something uniquely different, and definitely aligned with the solution, not the problem. They are sharing their feelings, their hearts, not perpetuating the same old arguing and rhetoric of the Ego. This is a Soul based movement. That’s why it will be successful. When one person comes home to their Divinity, everyone does.

This is Neptune in Pisces. The idea of the thousandth monkey– that there is a tipping point for consciousness which we help by doing activities that are inward, involve listening to and honoring our heart and Soul, and may even appear to be doing nothing at all from the outside. We may seem selfish to our family and friends when we insist on taking solo pleasure time instead of giving our peace to them. We may appear privileged with our beach day, while everyone else is working. But this stems from the idea of lack, that my good takes away from yours. It does not. My good can only ever create good for you. Why? We are all connected.

We know we are all connected.

We need to have faith in this humble process of coming home to ourselves. Whatever it takes, and whatever form that looks like that is just right for you.

Especially when that inner voice chides, “you’re not doing enough.”

No. You are enough. You are enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are GOOD, you are OKAY (If the collective truly believed this, there would be no shooters).

Be apart of the solution: Come home to you, so your light can lead others home.

Not everyone is a born activist. Not everyone is on the front line of war, nor needs to be. One thing I’ve learned about myself as a healer is that I am not an activist. My currency is peace and love, not passion (although I’m passionate about love!).

If you are on the front line of a movement, I commend you. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. That’s why you feel good there. Even in the midst of chaos, hurt and healing, you will feel good, as in “I’m exactly where I need to be.”

But for those who are not in an immediate crisis, or some other area of direct influence, when we “go there” energetically only to discover it makes us existentially upset and joyless, it does not feel right or good BECAUSE we are not meant to be “there”. We are not helping to shift this particular consciousness. When no one is home for you, there’s no one to anchor peace for all.

We each have a role to play. Let’s stop feeling guilty about feeling okay and good, and instead have faith that when we do, we serve all. Let’s embrace joy, our need to follow our heart and trust its wise guidance. If we do, it might start a massive revolution. When enough of us feel good in our hearts, we could finally touch the people who need it right where they need to feel most– their heart.

Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash


  1. Thank you, Jessica! I needed this reminder to realign with my Soul and dump the guilt. Beautifully stated, as always. XO

  2. Sue Almryde says:

    Indeed each of us has our own unique path to influence others. What is driving my nuts in the illusion that you say this time these kids are different that they are speaking from the heart! Well I’m 100 percent passionate and on there side.
    Automatic weapons are nuts. When you say that before everyone else that was against these weapons were egotistical, that is a weak and null of heart Statement!
    We live in a physical world here we all have one foot in the spiritual world and one foot in the real world. In other words you do your little part when you can. But the older I get the more I see is the betrayals of the innocence because someone chose the complacent and SAFE route of “I will look the other way” because until it happens to you it doesn’t happen! Some of these spiritual advisers are plan heartless! They claim the “magic wand” if you believe hard enough all good will come your way. If you don’t believe well shame on you, that is insane!
    All or nothing polarization! Well I call “BS” these kids are right on and us adults we have a lot to be ashamed of because for years and years we keep looking the other directions while other humans suffer injustice! Not everyone need to be mother Tresa or Gundi to be good and going the right direction. Yes we should go to the Beach and have FUN……………………Life is a mixture…………of all these things. Sagittarius Sue now go look up the stars and why would a Sag say that!

  3. Anonymous says:

    winscical but present babelings of a mystic yet so pertinent and relevant.
    great work THANKYOU

  4. shirley moffitt says:

    goosebumps….just lovely

  5. I agree, not everyone is suited for the role of activist. Having said that, we live in a connected world where the impacts of our choices aren’t always obvious or immediate.

    Many of us seem unaware that our votes (if we choose to support our system, which I don’t) are carried on the wings of bombs and drones, and in bullets, oppression and exploitation of the least among us, in our communities and throughout the world. Or how our decisions about what to buy or eat, or where to vacation, rent or purchase a home may mean the exploitation and loss of indigenous culture and natural environments, or in the displacement and homelessness of local poor or working class people unable to find affordable housing.

    It can be devastating to suddenly realize the unintentional part we’ve played in the suffering of others, and yet, for those of us fortunate enough to be able to choose, we can make the effort to become more informed and still nurture our need for nature, solitude and reflection. These endeavors are complementary, not mutually exclusive. Our grief holds the potential to inform and deepen our compassion, mindfulness and sense of connection, also our gratitude for the ways in which we’re blessed. Joy and sadness dance together.

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