There are times in life when impossible relationships appear. They aren’t available, you aren’t available, there’s a difference in age, or geography so vast that coming together is not only crazy but exceedingly impractical. Some may say that’s the definition of true love. It may be one. However, the difference between a possible or impossible relationship is that sooner or later the relationship itself, through its potential for drama, heartache and impracticality, reveals that it is not designed to exist in this time-space continuum.
Love can be confusing, crazy and everything in between. Especially if we feel: comfortable, familiar, and romantically attracted to each other. And often a part of us knows we have “been together before”. I don’t think it’s a cruel twist of fate that we have contracts to meet again with people whom we feel connected to in a mysterious way, or even love, but cannot be with today. It is apart of being a spiritual being in a human body. There’s a practical aspect to this: if you believe you’ve had more than one life, you’ve probably also had more than one mate in your perhaps hundreds of lifetimes. Obviously you cannot mate with everyone you have ever mated to in all of your lives. But what happens when we run into them in the grocery store or on Facebook? Well, it gets messy, complicated and confusing.
In astrology there’s one planet that describes this timeless tangential aspect of love– Neptune. When Neptune makes connections by transit to Venus or the relationship houses (by transit to, or transit the rulers of the Seventh, Eighth, Fifth and sometimes Fourth), Neptune can bring about these types of experiences: you meet someone, gaze into their eyes and felt that “I’ve known you forever” connection. But Neptune is not Saturn, which is to say Neptune doesn’t really care if this person fits into your life plan, if the relationship pans out in reality – or if it lasts at all. All that matters is that you’re touching souls with another soul, in this moment, and to be present to this timeless awakening that this person has inspired in you. Neptune teaches us the spiritual aspect of love– which has nothing to do with time, age, the availability of either partner or whether you can actualize the relationship in real life. Neptune says: the physical doesn’t matter, the spiritual does.
With Neptune, as with every planet, we have an element of choice. We cannot choose whether or not to have this experience but we can choose what to do with it. That’s the joy of knowing a little astrology. If we see Neptune coming ’round, we can treasure the relationship for what it is – ephemeral, heart-opening. We can orient toward spiritual awakening. Through the new awareness this person brings up we may realize our priorities in the world, and our understanding about our own life, has been incomplete. Maybe we explore the idea of past lives, of being a timeless soul in a body, for the first time. Maybe this soul mate person functions as an “angel” who brings wisdom, understanding, reminds us who we truly are and gives us pieces of our soul back – all common features of a positive Neptunian relationship. Spiritual awakening can happen in other forms, too, of course: through near death experiences (NDE’s) for instance, in which death awakens awareness of other dimensions of life that have nothing to do with this body, careers, money, getting ahead …and this initiates a spiritual journey. When Neptune is transiting your Venus or relationship points/houses, love is the invitation to a spiritual awakening, journey. You needed a reminder that: you are more than this body, and you needed to discover this through love. But Neptune is not Saturn, planet of earthly form and vows. Neptune dissolves.
What Neptune dissolves, along with heart barriers to loving others, is our mind. Maybe our linear logician may have needed dissolving. However, as the official planet of crazy-making, Neptune can wreck marriages and lives. When you try to attach your self to a relationship that is by its very nature ephemeral and formless, oh, the drama! I’ve seen clients (almost) leave their happy marriages while under Neptune’s mesmerizing influence. As an astrologer, it’s not my role to tell them what to do, but point out they are indeed under the influence – of Neptune. Balancing those crazy drug induced highs with reflective solitude is essential.
To escape the rocky relationship-wrecked shores of Neptune do not try to turn it/them into something it/they cannot be. In this, it’s important to find a way to be at peace with what the relationship is – to explore its meaning between your ears and your heart. It is your journey. Neptune always reminds us that life and love is neither good nor bad, but an experience. Choose to experience your impossible relationship as what it is: beautiful, awakening, soul-invigorating, timeless –and as delicately perishable as a flower. Hold on too tightly and you will crush it (and chances are it will make you crazy).
As with all transits, this too shall pass. The heart-wrenching soul longing to be consumed by another, the thirst for an impossible mating, eventually mellows into a deeper understanding of love, life, one’s self. Eventually you will recognize a spiritual awakening has occurred and sometimes trying to put this new awareness into words can be as impossible as trying to describe exactly why this person had such an irresistible, hypnotic hold over you. But eventually, even memory fades and all that remains is the essence.
My client called me the other day, confused by the way the very ground of a decision she had just confidently made had quickly emotionally bottomed out. “Yesterday I was so sure of my decisions but today I’m feeling anxious, uncertain about everything.” I looked at her chart: the Sun, currently in Pisces was transiting her Twelfth House, the house of Pisces. During the 30-day or solar transit we each experience annually, our fears loom larger, life feels topsy-turvy, chaotic. Any load we’ve been carrying around, preventing us from moving forward, demands deep surrender, release –without knowing what’s next. During this time we undergo a mini-lesson in being comfortable with uncertainty. If it weren’t so confusing it’d be downright spiritual. Read more
With Saturn now moving retrograde, I figured I’d check in on how I’m faring with Saturn. Saturn has been transiting my First House since September 2011. I had been looking forward to Saturn leaving my Twelfth House like I looked forward to being released from an obligation I had no interest in keeping; in my Twelfth, Saturn had taught me to quiet down, stop working so hard, to chill out. Dialing back and losing focus in the diffuse awareness of the Twelfth House does not and did not feel natural to me. With a score of like 65 on Donna Cunningham’s Cardinal-o-meter, I flip flopped like a fish out of water. Not until Saturn entered the Twelfth House did I realize how much my identity was fused with doing instead of be-ing. The week Saturn transited the first initially felt like a release from bondage. That week, I reconnected with parts of my self I thought I’d lost by attending a high school reunion, and taking an art class with a master artist. In a very real sense, this was the beginning of the rediscovery of the self. But after the initial homecoming, I had to let go of that nostalgic self-reunion. There’s a Joseph Campbell quote that speaks directly to what takes place during the shift from Saturn from the Twelfth into the First House(s), ”We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Read more
I’m writing from Honolulu, Hawaii, where the sun is warm and the beaches, crowded. It’s not my top vacation choice, as it’s a little too commercial for my taste (I still can’t believe enough people buy t-shirts at Crazy T-Shirts to keep it in business), but I’m on a tropical island on my husband’s work trip, and not in the North East (sorry folks!) so I can’t complain. But wherever you go, there you are and this morning began with me ruminating on all of my “problems” with no clear answers in sight. Then I heard the voice of reason (or enlightenment) say, “Well then I guess there’s nothing left to do but to enjoy myself.” Which is a radical decision for this serious Sun-Saturn person.
During the Leo Full Moon two weeks ago, John and I took a spontaneous overnight trip to the city. We counted our Hilton Honors points, took the ferry into San Francisco, booked a room on Union square and behaved as tourists do. We live here– but it’s funny how a drive to work across the Golden Gate Bridge is so very different from a ferry ride to a stolen vacation. Magic permeated our overnight trip. He worked (what he loves to do in hotel rooms); while I experienced wicked good shopping karma. The French restaurant we went to for breakfast almost felt like we were in France. We’re travelers but this was the first time we’d ever been locally spontaneous, and it was so much fun & doable we vowed to do it at least once a year. Read more
I was backing out of the animal shelter, after stopping by to say hi to the kittens and puppies (it’s good for the mental health), when Saturn in Scorpio and I had an automobile collision. She got out of her car, and immediately dished me up a nasty insult. But I was so high on kitten and puppy serotonin I think it granted me a sense of grace because in one moment I experienced a deep sadness around how people treat one another and in the next, I felt the truth of this person, that despite appearances and her behaviour, she wasn’t nasty, well, not really. I imagined life, with its traumas & turmoil, had taken its toll on her, as it does on each and everyone of us. Her essence was a child’s, innocent and pure, as we all are before life happens.
It wasn’t all fresh kittens though. I still had to process the trauma of the collision and the impact of receiving verbal abuse. After all, poison is still poison. Frankly, it brought me down. Energetically, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Read more
Dolly Parton, a Capricorn, once said: “The magic is inside of you. There ain’t no crystal ball.” Well, to tempt Fate, the Capricorn Gods, and Dolly, I had a psychic reading yesterday. The psychic told me she’d never seen an aura like mine, it was larger than normal (apparently the average aura is 7 inches and mine is 12) & its activity made her dizzy. She told me I wasn’t of this Earth, but from another planet — a planet of superior intelligence (which sounded like the planet Uranus to me). Now, if like I was you are thinking the psychic is attempting to flatter me, know this is nothing to brag about because apparently, for a person from the Planet of Superior Intelligence, life on Earth is extra difficult. It is like being handed a wrench and told to fix cars when you are so clearly not cut out to be a car mechanic.
Yes, it’s true. I have no earth in my birth chart. Except for my North Node (in Capricorn) –which my mentor Steven Forrest brilliantly describes as “a really good idea” because we have no experience here –and which, after using her methods to search for my purpose for being here on this planet, the psychic validated by freely offering that my soul’s decision to incarnate on Earth may’ve actually been nothing more than a good idea. Oh, irony of ironies. Read more