The truism goes, you have to love your self before you can truly love another. I experienced this truism as 100% true the first time I realised I’d given the love I should’ve been giving to my self to another and wound up empty & unloved.
As I get older the love truisms develop in subtlety, complexity. For instance, the idea that before you can be a “We” there must be an “I” – a Self. This is very different from loving your self, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, becoming a confident person with goals and vision for her life. What I’m talking about is being deeply and utterly Self- centered and being okay with that. I mean really being okay with it. In a way that (most) men are born and raised knowing but (many) women aren’t. After all, if we were lucky enough to have escaped being mistaken for a parent’s appendage in childhood, society will socialize us out of putting our Self first. Read more
Since the last new moon I have faced a few obstacles: a head cold, a broken pipe that led to no water for six days, more signs of a rapidly declining website, a printer refusing to print…each obstacle requiring more time and attention than I wanted to give. And each obstacle in and of it self, felt disempowering. Days of going without water, days spent problem solving- probably my least pleasurable activity in the world –trying to master technology, and days laying low nursing a cold. These have eaten into other areas of my life – my plans, goals, marketing strategies to earn much needed income. I’ve had to change directions, at least temporarily. Like wild pigs showing up on my doorstep, these unwanted things demanded to much of my attention. Read more
As the Sun moves through the constellations, once again we find our selves at the beginning: Aries. The zodiacal sign of Aries has over the years, earned my admiration. Full of vigor, can-do and the enthusiasm of perpetual springtime, Aries has the power to turn away from the past, the whole 11 signs that came before. After swimming with the Fishes, Aries juts chin out and in an act born of defiance & Truth makes this moment, this life, this day, brand new. No other sign can claim that.
Sure, I have admiration and even love for this sign. But I don’t look forward to this season. Read more
The weather, wet and cold right now in northern California, is great for staying indoors, reading novels, deep introspection and calling in sick – which is what I did today. As the piled high mountain of used Kleenex mounted, and after reading a few chapters of a fantastic novel, I decided that what I most wanted to do with my sick day was to put some attention on my latest life mission: figuring out a way to do what I love, without killing myself (the alternate title for this post).
“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”
“I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it.”- Audrey Hepburn, Venus in Aries
“If you can’t take me at my worst, you most certainly don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe, Venus in Aries
“If you always do what interests you at least one person is pleased.” – Katherine Hepburn, Venus in Aries
If you were born when Venus was in the constellation of Aries, the Ram… Read more
A mystic passed through town and villagers asked his advice about a snake. This snake had been terrorizing town folk with venomous bites, and they wondered whether the mystic would talk with him and see whether something could be done. He met with the snake, explaining that the biting thing was dreadful, and if he would stop, everyone would leave him alone and everyone would be better for it. The snake agreed to the plan. Months passed. The next time the mystic came through town, he stopped by to pay his old friend a visit. To his surprise, the snake was half-dead, covered with scabs and wounds. The defeated snake said he’d stopped biting, but once the townspeople figured out that he was no longer a threat, people began taunting him, throwing rocks and kicking him. The snake wondered why this happened, when, ‘I did what you said.’ The mystic replied, ‘Yes, I did tell you to not bite, but I never told you not to hiss.’