I was backing out of the animal shelter, after stopping by to say hi to the kittens and puppies (it’s good for the mental health), when Saturn in Scorpio and I had an automobile collision. She got out of her car, and immediately dished me up a nasty insult. But I was so high on kitten and puppy serotonin I think it granted me a sense of grace because in one moment I experienced a deep sadness around how people treat one another and in the next, I felt the truth of this person, that despite appearances and her behaviour, she wasn’t nasty, well, not really. I imagined life, with its traumas & turmoil, had taken its toll on her, as it does on each and everyone of us. Her essence was a child’s, innocent and pure, as we all are before life happens.
It wasn’t all fresh kittens though. I still had to process the trauma of the collision and the impact of receiving verbal abuse. After all, poison is still poison. Frankly, it brought me down. Energetically, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Read more
How are you doing with your Self expression lately? For some folks, the Self expresses easily. These people are self-directed, clear, focused and on purpose, are confident enough to take up space, and make choices while recognizing that every choice doesn’t need to work out, that mistakes come with the territory. They have an ego, which in healthy doses, is good. Of course we all have a Self, but some of us.. we question our Self. We might waver a little more than a person who somewhere along the way (via nurture or nature) got the message “You have a right to exist” and “You deserve to ask for what you want”.
In astrology we all have a Self – it’s our Sun. Nothing in the birth chart works without the Sun. Nothing. Without successfully doing our Sun, doing our Venus sign or North Node is a moot point. It’s that important. The astrological glyph for the Self/Sun is a circle with a dot. The circle is a boundary, and we are in the center, the dot. In between Self and boundary, there’s space to spread out, to express our well-defined Self. While our zodiac sign shows our values and the way we express our Self, it doesn’t answer how strong that circle boundary is. Aspects to our Sun either support our Self or lays out challenges to our self-development. Sometimes we have clear challenges. A Jupiter trine is very different from a Neptune or Pluto square.
How strong is your Self? Psychologists might say a person has a “weak” or “strong” sense of Self. Astrology is a little more open-minded, and holistic. We can prescriptively understand what the Self needs. Maybe we need to integrate more self-assertion into our Self (Mars square Sun), or that we’re just fine in that department (Mars trine Sun). Maybe our sense of Self is open to influences (Neptune square) or we are late bloomers- a Self-in-progress (Sun conjunct Saturn). For as much as I love the nuances of astrology, about the way our gender, sexuality or culture oppresses our sense of Self astrology falls silent.
For instance, as a woman, I know my experience of my Self is very different from that of a man. As children, generally men are more likely to get the message, and have it reinforced over and over, that they are the center of the Universe, and that they can do anything. This is evidenced by the number of men in positions of power today (and those same men who can get away with things that women wouldn’t). You can also see this in the way (some) men become righteous & indignant when they are held accountable for any of their actions. I don’t want to make a list of grudges against men, because we all experience oppression but historically, women experience more, and more and more of my female clients are openly talking about things I can chalk up to sexism and oppression. One said, “I feel like when I’m standing next to my partner, I feel smaller than my actual size (reference: Frida and Diego, Frida’s comparatively tiny body and feet).” Another, “My male doctor told me to lose weight in a very arrogant and disrespectful way.” These are experiences that strike at the very core of Self-hood, limiting and defining our Self-perception, what we think we can and cannot do, who we can and cannot be.
As a young adult, I experienced a number of life-changing events that were outside of my control. This, combined with the message from parents “there’s nothing we can do about it…” meant I experienced prolonged periods of self-disempowerment – at least until I figured it out on my own. Pluto and Mars square my Cancer Sun. This shaped, helped me become more resourceful, and as much as I choose to not let it define me, these early experiences of oppression also wounded me, and so sometimes they still creep in, limiting me. Subconsciously, Pluto whispers that I have no power in a situation, when in reality, I do.
I know this is a heady topic for a Leo New Moon, but how can we truly just “be our Self” if we’re not aware of the various ways our Self is checked? At this Leo New Moon, check in on the health of your Self. Do you express what you want, desire and need – or do you make other people guess? Do you have the “self-awareness” to know what your core values are, and do you act from those? Are you being treated with respect by those around you – and if not, how can you have firmer boundaries? Say: “I am the center of my Universe.” Do you believe it? If not, now is the time to support the most important person in your life: You.
image source: Pinterest and public commons
Who in the hell d’you think you are? A super star? Well, right you are. – John Lennon
This weekend, I took a walk down the block to visit a new friend. She served me tea, peppered me with questions about myself and soon enough out tumbled my reindition of “How I Met My Husband”, which quickly led to other topics like: manifestation, healing from past relationships, spirituality and more. A half hour into the conversation, she sat back and looked at me for a moment, genuflecting, ’I don’t meet many people like you –you’re different. You know who you are. Your self-trust and self-knowing guides all your decisions and choices. I don’t have that sense of myself, and many other people I know don’t, either. We all want it - this makes you unique.’ The unexpected praise went straight to my heart and along with shyness & a few other emotions, I mostly felt truth. Sometimes friends can see us better than we can see our self… Basking in the afterglow, I thought of Leo & the Star.
“When you stop putting yourself on the line and you don’t touch your own heart, how do you expect to touch other people?” – Tori Amos (Venus in Leo)
“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
“Better to live one year as a tiger than a hundred years as a sheep.” - Madonna (Venus in Leo)
If you were born when Venus was in the constellation of Leo, the Lion…
Old astrology texts like to call Leo a Drama Queen or King. They like to paint planets in the sign of Leo as folks with superiority complexes. This happens occasionally, but mostly it doesn’t. Leo is the sign of Royalty, and royalty, the kind that stays in power, doesn’t lord over others. True royalty is generous, humane and often quietly dignified. Born with the expressive dignity of a Queen or King, you have creative dominion over an artistic field… and the hearts of others. Read more
Coming home from our camping trip in King’s Canyon in June, I visited a ‘Big Cat’ Reserve. As we toured the facility and were educated, the lions, panthers and leopards, lazily lounged in the hundred degree heat. Despite the wire cages, it was clear who was in command: the Cats. Confident, alert, relaxed -they were the main show, watching us watching them.
When I got home I looked at little Obi, my house cat with big cat energy, in a new way. I better understood his nature. When he corners scorpions, plays cat and mouse with mice, and tours the territory of our property like a warden looking for parolees, my cute cuddly cat turns big and fierce, territorially claiming his space. When I want him to be a teddy bear, he plays when he feels like playing. With his playful bites and mews, regal Obi tells me enough when he’s had enough. This cat demands respect. In fact, every cat household knows who is really in charge: the cat and the cat gets his way because the cat is utterly comfortable in it’s way. It’s as though he were born knowing exactly what to do, to be a cat. No ambiguity, no self-questioning, supple natural-ness is the Cat’s first skin. Like Leo, the Cat lives without apologies, second-guessing and worry about his reviews. About what you think, the cat is unconcerned. If only we humans knew how to do that… Read more
My friend Erin changed her Facebook profile picture to a celebrity. You’ve probably been invited to do the same. Her status update said something like: ‘it’s doppleganger week. Change your profile picture to the celebrity people think you most look like.’ She really did resemble Angie Harmon. I asked myself who that was and came up blank, so I asked my husband who said, ‘Winona Ryder’, who is not my favorite celebrity association. She does nothing for me. I went through a list of names who people have said I resembled and nope, I don’t resemble any of those people at all. I have my moments, my husband pointed out, when I resemble Angelina Jolie in spirit. Since I like Jolie, that was okay. Still. I look like me. Read more