Mercury in Aries, Retrograde: Retro-fitting the Self

The weather, wet and cold right now in northern California, is great for staying indoors, reading novels, deep introspection and calling in sick – which is what I did today. As the piled high mountain of used Kleenex mounted, and after reading a few chapters of a fantastic novel, I decided that what I most wanted to do with my sick day was to put some attention on my latest life mission: figuring out a way to do what I love, without killing myself (the alternate title for this post).

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The Karmic Wave Breaks On Amanda Knox

Pluto in Capricorn square Uranus in Aries are acting as catalysts for so many world events — revolution, financial & political revolt, toxins rising to the surface of political regimes and financial markets. Collectively and personally this is exciting longstanding karmas to erupt and such is the case for Amanda Knox who, after 3 years internment in an Italian prison, was found not guilty just yesterday. Given the botched DNA evidence (and  that an unrelated man, Rudy Guede, has already been convicted for Meredith Kercher’s murder and is now serving a 16 year sentence for Kercher’s death), I am hoping that Justice would prevail, because with Pluto lurking around every corner, it’s hard to know if corruption will prevail instead.

I had just done a slew of charts for clients for whom “the karmic wave is breaking…” (when outer planet transits trigger the nodal configuration, ie, our past life karma, the “karmic wave breaks”). I looked at her chart not curious so much about her guilt or innocence, but about her past-life karma. After all, a murder trial is not something a typical 18 year old consciousness faces in a lifetime. I also wondered something I often ask myself about the usefulness of astrology consultations: Had she been my client years ago, before that fated trip to Italy, could I have said anything to her that would have been helpful?

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The Art of Losing, Uranus Leaves Pisces

In the past two days, I’ve been informed of two deaths. One, an acquaintance’s family member; the other, a high school classmate who was a fixture in my social circle. The former was a suicide, and the other was young and healthy enough to surmise that free will played a role in her death, too (you usually guess this when you see ‘no foul play suspected’ in the police reports). For me, this brings up feelings already brewing from a more acute loss this Winter: sadness, loss, and the compassionate awareness that life is hard.

Astrologically, Uranus is leaving Pisces. Something we explored at the Steven Forrest retreat this weekend was the idea that as Uranus leaves this last sign, we are in a time of necessary endings. Steven said that part of this evolutionary work is accepting the inevitable ending of things. The question was posed: What do we need to let go of? He suggested the exploration was incredibly complex and required careful discrimination. He also suggested privacy as one thing we are likely letting go of.

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My Pluto Valentine: Bottomless Love

Some things we will never know the answers to; mystery questions that will change the course of our lives if we chose to follow and answer to them. UFO’s, crop circles, thirteen crystal skulls that have come to earth to bring us peace and healing. Then there’s the whole question of death, reincarnation, the ultimate meaning of our existence. I’m may be more spiritually curious as the next person, but thanks to my three year brush with Pluto, my perspective has changed. I love to search for  answers but I’ve also come to understand some searches are bottomless – hollow, even.

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The Twelfth House, Repulsion & The Crazy That Heals

The Roman Polanski film Repulsion is one Twelfth House look into the mind of a woman’s descent into madness. Like watching a beautiful train wreck, there’s something mesmerizing and terrifying about watching Catherine Deneuve somnambulistically shuffle between the flat and her day job as a manicurist filing the finger nails of old rich ladies and avoiding the sexually suggestive leers of men. She is mesmerizingly beautiful to watch but also terrifying because see she is hanging onto sanity by a thread and we know its about to snap. When her housemate and keeper, her sexually active sister, goes on vacation with her (married) boyfriend (of whom Catherine’s character disapproves), left alone, she disintegrates right before our eyes. She stabs a wealthy patron with her nail file (or did she imagine it?) then stops going to work altogether. Then begin the dreams… nightmarish dreams about being molested by men. Then there’s the hands that come out from the walls of her flat, grabbing her lovely flesh. We watch in horror as a simultaneously skeletal and sensually seductive seemingly unable to help herself in any way Deneuve subsists on a diet of sugar cubes and crackers for days into weeks (enough to make any fragile soul crack), until it gets so bad that there’s no way it’s gonna get better. In fact it gets much, much worse… [Read more…]

Blonde Ambition: Women, Madness, Astrology

I love cinematic hollywood starlets of long ago, movie stars who epitomized glamour and initiated our love affair with the movies. Women like Bette Davis, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield, Audrey Hepburn…the list goes on. These women excite a rare glamour nostalgia for me, nostalgia not for a time, but for the women themselves – a rare combination of sophisticated, feminine, tough and real. These strong women put up with a lot, like, sexism before feminism, and being ‘sold into’ unfair studio contracts. Now, just as then, Hollywood has always first and foremost been about money yet it’s important to remember that Hollywood (or any corporate machine) does not create drive, ambition and greed – people do. [Read more…]