Libra New Moon: A Little Too Polite

Catching up with my good friend and fellow astrologer, Jonathan Pearl, we checked in on each other’s relationships. He’s in a great one, and so am I. But things had been hard for a couple of years, and JP recently heard about this for the first time. When he asked me what had changed in retrospect, I started in on my usual five-minute monologue. House renovations, step-parenting… the love drug of five romantic years would have to give way eventually. Being absorbed into the lives of five other people, I started to gravitate away from my center, my Self. Then there was the looming fact that every time I took an opposing view to the masses I was deathly afraid of being perceived as “mean stepmom,” so I would try and be nice, and when that didn’t work, I’d stuff it. Meanwhile, all the energy it took to rein in my desires made me angry, tired and nasty (naturally). Not until I stopped being so nice, taking care of everyone feelings, and essentially acted first and apologized later, did things radically shift.

Then Jonathan asked, Did you watch the presidential debate? I cringed. Thus began my “shoulds”: I should be more politically informed. Honestly I started to listen but…it was too painful. Obama’s depression, his world weariness — it wasn’t a lack of preparation, but battle and compassion fatigue. Then JP said, “I came across this quote Obama made in response to the Romney debate and I’m going to tell it to you because it applies as much to you as my partner, who is incidentally having problems with her employees to whom she has been very accommodating, and was repaid for her kindness by being taken advantage of.”

Here’s the golden Obama quote which in context I doubt I will ever forget: “In retrospect, I suppose I was being too polite.” [Read more…]

Libra Full Moon: Peace That Passes Understanding

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking of a conflict I’m experiencing. It’s not a new one, it’s an ancient Plutonian one- the worst kind! As I lay there looking at the ceiling, scanning my higher mind for a solution, I attempted to quell the rising adrenaline by breathing deeply and feeling my body. Something popped into mind, My heart feels divided. Lately I’ve realized I can identify when a choice is wrong for me when, while sitting in the space of a potential scenario or choice, I have a physical sensation of mis-alignment. That’s when I know the integrity of a decision is off. This tells me two things: my heart is not at peace, and any decision made from this space, even if right, will be wrong. [Read more…]

Venus in Libra: Goddess of Good Grace

Grace Kelly

Grace Kelly, Venus in Libra

“I think marriage licenses should be like driver’s licenses. They expire after a number of years, and in order to keep going you have to renew. What a way to keep it fresh!”

“You don’t need a pickup line. Just glance at a woman from across the room. Glance– don’t stare.” -Jenny McCarthy, Venus in Libra

“Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick ass red lipstick.”-Gwyneth Paltrow, Sun in Libra

“I’m basically a good, gentle person but I’m attracted to mean personalities.” -Rita Hayworth, Venus in Libra

If you were born when Venus was in the constellation of Libra, the Scales…

You were born under the Venus-ruled sign of Libra, allying you with gifts of negotiation and an innate understanding of how to keep peace under times of stress and differences. A consummate politician, pleasing others also pleases you – for you take pleasure in others’ happiness (while knowing that when they’re happy, they’re also more likely to give you what you want!). This doesn’t mean everything is smooth sailing: you’ll be given plenty of opportunities to work out the difference between what’s best for others versus what’s best for you. But the Venus archetype, present at peace treaties, contract negotiations and important negotiations is so central to keeping everyone happy in a relationship, & you excel here. Smoothing feathers & looking great while doing it, while making everyone around you feel great, is such a forte for you, you’re admired, sought out for your diplomacy & people-skills and often financially rewarded for them. As you see other people’s points of view, honorably and fairly seek middle ground, you dignify others with your respect and good graces– an invaluable gift. [Read more…]

Libra New Moon: Conjunctio

Marriage is the essence of human relationships. It challenges us to be of one accord without abandoning the truth of our individuality. It challenges us to not lose ourselves in one another, but rather to walk side by side heading in the same direction.

As with all relationships, marriage is an endless presentation of choices about how we want to be with one another. Each choice results in either more unity or more separation. Chose into that unity every chance you get.

Sacrifice your judgments, expectations, and any other ways that you have learned to separate yourselves from each other.

Share the gifts of your friendship, humor, vulnerability, sensitivity, and kindness. Be sure to find ways each day to protect, affirm, and support each other, and to treasure the balance and shared values that you have found with each other. [Read more…]

The Private Lives of Pluto in Libra

As a card carrying member of the Pluto in Libra generation, this planet-sign has always been hard for me to really feel in my gut. There’s the shadow of Libra: obsession with appearance & beauty, rejection/repression of the baser qualities that make us ugly/unlikable, obsessing over relationship, hiding our dark not-so-nice urges, etc. But as such mental gyrations only scratch the surface of Pluto’s depth, I was happy to stumble onto The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, a movie that was artistically beautiful, but cut far deeper, subtler & whipsaw smarter than first appeared — which also happens to be qualities I ascribe to the Pluto in Libra generation. Pippa speaks of the power of relationship (and its wounds) to shape and transform our lives, and in ways we may not consciously realize.

[Read more…]

Libra Full Moon : The Pacifist & The Warrior

“I can’t give you a formula for success but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” Herbert Bayard Swope

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” Robert J. Sawyer

“Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.” Malcolm X

“An argument is always about what has been made more important than the relationship.” – Hugh Prather

“All disagreements are results of misunderstanding someone else’s level of consciousness” – Deepak Chopra

I don’t consider myself a person who avoids conflict. I do believe, though, that once the rules of civility are crossed, a bony finger points with blind recrimination toward another, name-calling commences, expletives are used, all hope for intelligence discourse exits the conversation. That level of relating is about as easy to take as listening to the heavy metal band at full volume, or crashing drums & cymbals. Once that happens, I will avoid like crazy. I will avoid the topic, the person, and likely the situation altogether. I will become the lotus-eater, the passive resistor or yes, the fence-sitter aspect of my Libra planets and rising. I will refuse to take sides with anyone who doesn’t approach me with respect & kindness. I will sit in my hot tub instead of listening to the news, and I will probably eat bon bons (or at least drink a nice glass of Pink House red wine) while doing it. [Read more…]