So Friendly and So Friendless. So What’s The Deal?

by | Aug 21, 2007 | Ask MoonKissd - Advice Column | 2 comments

Hi Jessica!

First off, let me just say I am addicted to your website!! I have a question regarding friendships in my life. My birthday is Oct 6 1986 Summit New Jersey. I don’t know if it’s so many planets in Scorpio or what, but I feel like all areas of my life are in extremes. As far as love relationships I could not be happier with my boyfriend, and I feel truly blessed with that area of my life. Finances, happy to say are great right now. But friendships seem to be on the other extreme. I feel it’s so hard for me to find a friend I truly connect with and enjoy being around. I know it sounds terrible, but it’s the truth. So I’m wondering – is this astrologically connected? Will I find true friendships sometime soon? Bright Blessings!

Dear Friendly & Friendless, Why, thank you for the compliment! It’s going to the top of my list where I can pull it out when I’m feeling low and compliment-empty, right when I need it. (you’re so friendly!)

I see you know how to do the same thing. You’re reinforcing the positive, naming the areas of your life that are going just great. Gratitude is the original prayer. In fact, one might even say its prayer-bait because when generated in mass amounts, gratitude has the marvelous tendency toward miracles. Not that you need one (living in happy gratitude always encourages the angels).

So what I’m getting at thinking differently…from a position of abundance…when asking the question, ‘where did my friends go?’
Quickly you answer: well, I’ve got casual friends, friends from work, friends you hang out with at parties…but none of these are my special friend, my BEST FRIEND. You know, the soul mate, the perfect mirror to my beauty. Anyone who was or is fortunate enough to have a BFF knows how great it feels. Yet not everyone has this soul mate of a friend. But you have all these great people who are interested in you…if only you were genuinely interested in them.

Astrology sees it this way: BFF’s and business partners, serious boyfriends and marriage material all fall under committed relationship ‘house’. Because you have a great guy, your companionship house reads: occupied. So you’re good. Not to say you can’t have a BFF – it’s just BFF’s aren’t always available when you want them. You know how hard it is to land “the one” and we rarely put as much energy into attracting friendships as we do mates.

But you can let your love light shine, Leo Rising. You’re friendly and open; you attract interesting people to you (that’s how I know you have friends) like lightening bugs. Your challenge is learning to enjoy and not judge the diverse weirdos that will gladly name you their friend. Let’s call it “friend dating.” Entertain a few of them, take ’em to coffee or ice cream just for kicks. Be genuine and generous -AND- marvel at all the ways they aren’t like you. There’s wisdom in being in that space of difference. You learn so much about yourself. 

As for me, I can’t say I have a BFF and for times of life I’ve felt friend-less. Yet when I look around at the diverse people I’ve collected since the original BFF, the lot of my friends are those whom I truly appreciate for the unique freaks they are, and who appreciate me.  When I surrendered the romance of BFF and reached beyond my comfort zone, I discovered a world of interesting and fascinating connections. In short, if I can, you can. You know how to do this. Good luck, soul sister!


P.S. – if you’re looking for a partner to run a astrology site to find our BFF soul mates, call me. I miss the BFF, too!


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  1. Lise

    Hello, All

    What I love most about Sex & The City isn’t the sex or the city (although good story material) but the deep soul connection of the four female friends. Not ONE BFF but FOUR! Isn’t this the true attraction and deepest essence in every storyline of that series? I think it speaks to the essence of female energy and culture, if you will. Deep in our intrinsic and indigenous souls, we come from a place where sisters work, laugh, live, share their lives.

    I love the idea of a site to help discover BFF soul mates! Our kids are doing this all the time now with the various My websites. reaching out, connecting, discovering, exploring.

    Connection is powerful and feeds the imagination.

  2. Jessica

    Ah, Sex and the City, love it. I totally agree! As women, we need deep soul connection – especially our Scorpio girlfriend.

    Grade school, high school even college creates a wide net from which to cast. As adults and as a society of transients (we move around so much) how do we find our BFF? The question remains.

    My hope/solution is to create a community of blogging girlfriends.

    This is such a rich topic – watch for a future posting!

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