Dear Moonkissd,

I am a 25 year Capricorn female and I was dating a 23 year old Pisces male for over 3 1/2 years. Both of us have struggled to get our careers off the ground and money has been tight. However, I have recently gotten a great job where I can use my B.A. in Literature. He is a struggling musician with no current income but plenty of talent.

Back in May he told me he wanted a break. He said it had nothing to do with me and that it had to do with him. However, as the months have gone by I’m starting to wonder if we will ever get back together. One minute it feels as though we are making progress and the next I feel as if we’re on separate continents!

I follow astrology and have read every article I could find on Pisces men. I don’t like to go by just the Sun sign because I know we all have different charts. But he does resemble a typical dreamer Pisces man.

I really care for him and he’s my best friend and he says the same about me. I know we have a bond, but I’m just confused. We still hang out and communicate. I still feel like his girlfriend. Neither of us is seeing anyone new, nor do we want to.

My question is do you see the potential for us to reconcile or will the upcoming eclipses in Virgo/Pisces seal the deal and just end it for good?

I really love him and I know he loves me. But lately it just seems like we can’t go forward.

My date of birth is 12/23/81 9:39 pm Atlantic City, NJ.

His is 3/11/84 3:14 am Atlantic City, NJ.

If you can shed any light on this situation I would so greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for you time.

Signed,

Stuck.

Dear Stuck,

First, congratulations for pursuing your dreams. You’re a shining example of a woman who stays on course even when her man’s waffling.  After reading this, my first thought was you might be supporting him financially. I wonder this because in you, I see a woman who will bend over backwards for someone who is loving, alot of fun and perfectly decent, but won’t do for himself or for you. Maybe you are supporting him, maybe you aren’t. Either way, the issue is not whether he’ll change his tune, but whether you can find your happiness with this habit.

Happiness, what price? He’s very attached to his freedom, preferring to live in the land of possibilities, and yet he presents as a believable reliable, responsible guy. He carries the outer/inner contradiction between being the grown-up role everyone can easily put him in but he’s not ready to grow up yet. He can play the part of grown up – but he’s not done playing! There’s nothing wrong with this really, unless it’s thwarting his personal growth, or in this case interpersonal development. Only he can decide if this is true.

Now I’m going to tell you something new (or not) – you’re the one having the experience of being dissatisfied in this partnership, not him. He’s just fine letting things go on as they are, going nowhere as that may be. Seeing as how you’re fifty percent of this relationship, you should be able to have at least fifty percent say about where things are headed, right? Wrong. Why not? Why don’t you feel like you’re on equal footing? Well, you’re attracted to a lush of a man, one who will squander your love unless you place limits on this squandering. You need to learn to place limits on it, first, because his dynamic of “What’s the big deal? We’re having a great time, right?” will go on and on and on and second because with the next guy it will go on and on…because it’s you with that pattern, you trying to resolve the tension between too loose and too tight. And you’re scared learning to tighten up the reins. Maybe you’re more comfortable being loose because…what if you actually named your bottom line and he said (which he has a right to say) “no go?” That’s a big fear and a common one.  And that fear will keep you in this (style of) relationship.

 Yes, you’re a Capricorn with Virgo rising, but you have tons of Sagittarius energy, too, so you’re creative and passionate and freedom loving yourself. You’re no stick in the mud, and having a bottom line won’t change that. He’s a Capricorn rising and you could actually teach him a thing or two. That’s compatibility – give and take, which you two have. But he has a growing up step to take, with or without you. Set limits on behavior that’s wrong for you. Period. What you need and want is important. If you want a partner that can take you into deeper intimacy, tell him. It’s too easy to let it be easy. You’re getting that.

Saturn enters Virgo in a week and crosses over your Ascendant through next June 2008. You’re wising up. You’re no longer Auntie Mame, the slap happy dame who dwindles away her fortunes by spending too much time at (or with those who dawdle at) the buffet of life. You’re working on being smart and self-accountable. The division between what you want and what you get from relationship is no longer acceptable. You’re getting tough, lady, and it’s about time. Ask for what you want and if you don’t get it, know if you ask long enough, hard enough and earnestly enough…you will. If not from him, from someone new who loves you.

P.S. Oh, and you’re right – we are bigger than Sun sign astrology. It’s great, too but I didn’t even look at Pisces energy for any of this character assessment!