Dear Moonkisd,

I love this blog. It’s amazing how you explain the complexity of astrological issues with such an easy, humane approach.
Since the last 2 years I stopped making any important decisions in my life. It feels like I’ve lost trust in the inner-guidance somehow. I only do I what I have to, refusing to take any “unnecessary”challenges. I gave up doing artistic projects (I’m a musician) and lost interest (hope) in relationships. As far as I know, I have Saturn, North Node and Lilith in the 5th house. Does it leave any hope for artistic goals and successful relationships? I feel so heavily restricted in this area. I was born on the 1st of Nov. 1979 in Krakow, Poland, at 17.15.

Gratefully, Baffled

Dear Baffled,

Why thank you (blush)! Scorpio, you live to create that magnificent work of art that makes life worth living, and denying yourself that pleasure makes my heart twinge. Oh, and intimacy, can you spell SCORPIO? You will find it, but first you’ve got to rescue yourself from the despondency that’s taken the oomph out of your oomp-ah!

When you mention you stopped making important decisions and unnecessary challenges related to artistry, I immediately spied Neptune opposing your fourth house Mars in Leo since late 2006. The confusion or directionless-feel of Neptune surely contributed to this decision to just stop for awhile. But your life force, joie de vivre, your juice is tied to that Mars in Leo (trine your natal Neptune) who feels really and truly alive when she’s performing, creatively inspired and in love. They need you to step up to the mic! Because the transit is winding down, I’d suggest there’s something still for you to explore in terms of developing a more spiritually based inner compass. If only the lightness of really not knowing what’s coming next, and how it feels to truly living in the moment (is it maybe, just sometimes, delicious to be guided into doing something artistic for no rhyme or reason?), as a balance for the heaviness you feel regarding your love life.

Your art wants to help you with your life; it’s an integrative force at work in what’s coming next. I use the Koch house system, and this year Saturn prepares to cross into your fifth house, of love affairs and creativity, but before then, first squares your relationship-self axis. If you’ve lost hope, now is the time to go get it back. Where did you lose it and to whom? What is that one thing that caused you to give up? Oooh, and if they resembled a performance piece or character in a play, what or whom would they be? With Uranus/Venus in Scorpio square Mars you can have quick, intense relationships with unreliable people that leave you feeling unfulfilled – which may’ve been enough to stop you in your tracks. Or relationships that leave room for colorful individuality, intensity, vital expressiveness and certain differences of opinion (the upswing). Trust and compassion is vital for all your relationships, as is your personal need to shake your booty, dip your paintbrush, and feel alive.

Saturn is on your mind. With Saturn squaring that critical axis, I’m concerned you’ll continue to deny yourself the creativity, and responsible, playful delights of a romp in the hay with the fifth house. You may want to be recognized today, but creating is it’s own reward. A fifth house Saturn in Virgo honors the need for practice makes perfect, in both art and love. Examining what your heart desires most and persisting after it most definitely has rewards. Saturn’s presence there natally doesn’t deny you either, but you do have to work a little harder for that feeling of creative accomplishment you think “should” come naturally. Examine what you’re thinking: Creating “shouldn’t” feel like hard work. Dating is a “waste of time.” Uh-huh, that square is hen pecking you all year, goading you to please pick up your instrument, attempt to piece your heart back together.

Granted, you haven’t wanted to do much of anything but sit around and wait. With your progressed Ascendant, your evolving identity, squaring your natal Aries Moon conjunct Ceres, I’m absolutely certain locating the courage to take care of yourself, to nurture your love of daring will jump start your heart. You need to be your own hero right now, to rescue your inner damsel of distress. Locating your love for taking chances and challenges will assist in opening new doors, in art and love.

Drop me a line if you’d like a personal reading!