Catching up with my good friend and fellow astrologer, Jonathan Pearl, we checked in on each other’s relationships. He’s in a great one, and so am I. But things had been hard for a couple of years, and JP recently heard about this for the first time. When he asked me what had changed in retrospect, I started in on my usual five-minute monologue. House renovations, step-parenting… the love drug of five romantic years would have to give way eventually. Being absorbed into the lives of five other people, I started to gravitate away from my center, my Self. Then there was the looming fact that every time I took an opposing view to the masses I was deathly afraid of being perceived as “mean stepmom,” so I would try and be nice, and when that didn’t work, I’d stuff it. Meanwhile, all the energy it took to rein in my desires made me angry, tired and nasty (naturally). Not until I stopped being so nice, taking care of everyone feelings, and essentially acted first and apologized later, did things radically shift.

Then Jonathan asked, Did you watch the presidential debate? I cringed. Thus began my “shoulds”: I should be more politically informed. Honestly I started to listen but…it was too painful. Obama’s depression, his world weariness — it wasn’t a lack of preparation, but battle and compassion fatigue. Then JP said, “I came across this quote Obama made in response to the Romney debate and I’m going to tell it to you because it applies as much to you as my partner, who is incidentally having problems with her employees to whom she has been very accommodating, and was repaid for her kindness by being taken advantage of.”

Here’s the golden Obama quote which in context I doubt I will ever forget: “In retrospect, I suppose I was being too polite.”

Bingo.

Saturn has left Libra and I’m not crying and here’s why. Like Obama, I spent my Saturn in Libra years trying to cajole a certain group of others into embracing my point of view as heartily as I did. I would diplomatically present my case, and when I didn’t get the response I wanted – what I am saying here is they did not enthusiastically agree – I would, oh yes, that dreaded word, I’d try to compromise. Of course, the one thing the opposition wanted to avoid at all costs was having their power usurped, so negotiations would always favor the party holding the power. Trust me, it is no different in a big family than it is in the white house.

Here’s what I learned from Saturn’s transit through Libra: when you need change to happen and you need it now, being diplomatic (nice, kind, polite and respectable, empathic) is a behaviour, a jumping off point, but it is not a long-term strategy. It sets the stage for something really beautiful to happen, but as a long-term strategy during times of change it is a FAIL, because while you were nice, polite and compromising someone else was still happily eating their Cheetos on your sofa, ie, getting away with murder. And it’s not even their fault. I mean you really can’t blame them for wanting to hold all the cards, or Cheetos, in their corner. Because it was you (or me, or Obama) who couldn’t be so mean as to use your own power and take those Cheetos away.

It’s a Libra New Moon. I love me some Libra. I am a Libra Rising. Libra is the sign of building bridges, uniting differences, merging opposites into complements, because the tapestry of life is varied and we need to include everyone’s point of view. I pull on Libra often in my work with others and my relationships. I understand, I empathise, I support, I see your point of view…and it’s a beautiful thing. My Libra abilities often make me, to my husband, the “best partner ever.” However, maybe we all need to step back and digest the 2 + year lesson of Saturn in Libra. There’s a time for being polite, for rationally and diplomatically laying out your point of view. There’s a time for walking in other people’s shoes, and for compromise because compromise is what’s called for, and a time when that just doesn’t work.  There’s also a time for not being the best partner ever, but being honest and true to your self. There’s a time for getting mad, and mean when trespassed, for taking action now and apologising later. Otherwise, people will walk all over you, you become tired, depressed, aged and disheartened.  Take it from me, and from Obama.

Libra New Moon brings the desire for harmony, relaxation, pleasure and balancing behaviours into our lives. We can calm down and relax…unless we’re out of balance, in which case Libra, especially through our relationships, reflects back our imbalances so we can take corrective action. When our life or our world has swung dramatically out of balance, it takes a stronger, more bitter perhaps truth serum medicine to correct what has become so funky and entrenched. Yes, the sweet sign o’ the Scales have given way to the sign o’ the Scorpion, the archetype of truth. We can still be inclusive, kind and respectful of others but we are operating from a deeper center of gravity now. We are looking at the deeper truths in life- and the lies. Which is timely and relevant for this presidential election season. We are ready to be truthful, and while not always kind, truth is always compassionate for All.