I was backing out of the animal shelter, after stopping by to say hi to the kittens and puppies (it’s good for the mental health), when Saturn in Scorpio and I had an automobile collision. She got out of her car, and immediately dished me up a nasty insult. But I was so high on kitten and puppy serotonin I think it granted me a sense of grace because in one moment I experienced a deep sadness around how people treat one another and in the next, I felt the truth of this person, that despite appearances and her behaviour, she wasn’t nasty, well, not really.  I imagined life, with its traumas & turmoil, had taken its toll on her, as it does on each and everyone of us. Her essence was a child’s, innocent and pure, as we all are before life happens.

It wasn’t all fresh kittens though. I still had to process the trauma of the collision and the impact of receiving verbal abuse. After all, poison is still poison. Frankly, it brought me down. Energetically, emotionally, spiritually, physically.

Our true nature is generous, loving, kind. Yet how do we recover this confidence in our self and others when life, and other people, show us otherwise?  How do we not succumb to negativity, fear and anger, when it is so darn easy to do? It takes psychological effort. I had to work to get that trauma out of my system and I am still working at it. But I am not forgetting the importance of joy. It also takes playfulness, humor and trust — in the goodness of life, that it really will all work out.

The Sun is transiting Aquarius, a sign that knows how to shake the tree, break up patterns of wintry stagnation. When Leo Full Moon blows into town, like a classy hollywood heroine aching for a good time, happiness must be courted.

Leo is the Divine Child in all of us. The part of us who is unafraid to share, to shine, to risk spontaneous displays of affection, art, performance, creativity and grandeur because in doing so we reinforce our trust in Life — that Life is good, and ultimately kind.  Yet, I must admit, ever since Saturn entered Scorpio, I notice I have become more suspicious when something valuable disappears (stolen!) or when someone is unkind or controlling (evil, manipulative!). I am becoming more aware that we all wear masks, and many times others are not who they appear to be, and I am becoming more aware that like sex, death and money, food is never really about just food. Saturn in Scorpio brings a need to take personal responsibility for the deeper, hidden issues preventing transformation – and this is linked to everyone’s emotional maturity. Often it’s our beliefs, our stubborn attitudes, our ‘no’, our resistance that gets in the way. Often it’s garden variety negativity.

Saturn in Scorpio, square this full moon, shines honest light on the dark, moldy corners of our consciousness. How is: our stubborn attitudes, resistance to change, fears, unhealed wounds blocking us from change?  It may be unpleasant and difficult to face, but life is about learning. In knowing this, instead of saying “what’s the point?” and succumbing to our own bitterness, a pint of ice cream, or any form of self-sabotage, we can lighten up & choose differently. Leo Full Moon shines on, daring us to open our hearts wider, daring us to be a true romantic– to be The Lover of our partner, of our Self, of Life. When we decide to finally close one door and open another, thresholds can be crossed at this dramatic full moon.

But there’s work involved (Saturn) so here’s what I want you to do: Celebrate Your Self. You can do this in a number of ways. You can make a list of all your accomplishments in 2012. It can be something as small as learning to make kefir yogurt, or as big as getting laid off from a sucky job (go, you!). When I did this I realized I had focused on what I hadn’t accomplished. Wait, I wrote and published 2 e-books! I Feng Shui’d my house, tremendously improved my relationship to my husband and his daughters, started health coaching and made huge strides in my self-awareness! It felt so good to acknowledge this. But you know what? Celebrating myself doesn’t come easy or natural to me. Which is why I need to remember to do it.

You can also: Look for The Good & Positive in Your Life. One of the hard things I have noticed about working with clients is how easy it is to be negative about our own lives. The irony is if you live in America, you have food, clothing, shelter and employment therefore your quality of life is superior. This is nothing to sneeze at. All too often we emphasize the negative over the good. We complain about what’s not going right instead of acknowledging the small, good steps we took this week. In my health coaching program I have experimented with asking, “What’s new?” versus “What is new and good?” Know what I found? If I led with new and good, the outcome of the session was dramatically different. Try asking someone “What’s new & good?” instead of  your typical “What’s up?” and see how you lift the vibration of the conversation.

These aren’t airy-fairy exercises in dishonesty, like covering the smell of crap over with a sweet perfume. It’s about clearly seeing the honest truth of your situation, uncovering your blocks, and then deciding where you stand on the subject of your life’s happiness. Because at the end of the day, we each make the choice to either stand in the dark or stand in the light.