vintage_woman mirrorThe person we represent our self as being, is not often the person we are. Politicians present a straight-talking wholesome face to their constituents while behind the scenes they are making dirty, self-interested deals. Remember the first time you saw a woman without her makeup, and she became a whole different person? A well-crafted image is something we all create in relationship, too. We choose the right clothes, say the right thing or joke, omit certain bits of information about our self, play up others.  I notice this phenomenon a lot on Facebook where most folks tend to share only the good and the best of their selves. In this carefully curated gallery of selfies, celebrations (promotions, birthdays), quirky news items, deep thoughts and beautiful pictures are shared liberally. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. I have Venus on the MidHeaven, and Libra Rising: I work hard to create beauty worth beholding!

Venus is the archeytpe of “good marketing.” When she’s good, she’s very good and when she’s bad, well, unless she’s a Scorpio, she leaves those things out of the conversation. No one sees a new mama’s tears in that endless stream of baby pictures, and no one will ever see me having a bad hair day on FB either. It’s not wrong to portray your life in a certain light; it’s just lopsided. When we craft an image we’re also creating a myth of our self and the story you create about you, others believe, too. Is it real? Sure. Is it an illusion? Absolutely. Love the paradox of Libra.

An uncomfortable duality between the myth and reality of my daily life has been nagging at me. So yesterday I did something very long overdue. In my status update I “came out” as a person who has had a chronic illness for over a decade. I explained what Fibromyalgia is (chronic muscle pain syndrome, a mysterious mix of pain, fatigue and insomnia) , how it feels (your muscles don’t relax like normal folks) and how it affects my life (plans cancelled, goals postponed, dark emotions). This act was humanizing and liberating, and also scary. I have fear and shame around how others see me (sick is synonomous with weak). Questioning this, I realised my deepest fear is that I will lose clients and friends. It’s not unfounded. I’ve lost important relationships, people who were too afraid to stay. I knew I could stay in the fuzzy grey zone and continue to perpetuate the illusion of health and competence, but the reality kept tugging at me: people aren’t actually ever seeing the whole me, and by not allowing others to see ME they can’t truly support and appreciate me. I wanted people to see my whole self, not just the side that is comfortable for them to see, and for me to share. So I shared & received overwhelming support, and offers to help: with suggestions from oil pulling to jiu jitsu to cannabis oil (one I will follow up on!). It was emotional for me writing the update, then reading the responses. It felt honest, clean, healing.

We all want what Libra/Venus wants: a happiness born of peace, harmony, love. With fairy dust, we can create it, but this new moon needs more than fairy dust, as there’s a bit of grit in our shoe. Pluto is present. Sure, Libra is the love artist extraordinaire, the part of our Self that shows our best side, using fantastic imagery and artistry creates any image we want. Libra can create marvelously lopsided images, too; the peace-lover refuses to stand up for her self, the alcoholic who saves face by lying to everyone; the woman who stays in a marriage for security and social status. The cardinal sins of Libra? From people-pleasing to full-scale make believe realities, Libra’s sins are those of omission, of creating artifice and harmony at all costs.

New Moons are times of new beginnings. Look to the house in which this new moon falls; this is the area where you’re ready to clear the decks and turn over a new leaf. At 11’56’ Libra the new moon has just barely escaped an opposition to Uranus (though some of us weren’t so lucky!), a harbinger of bold beginnings and sudden seeming endings. Pluto in Capricorn squares this new moon, too, forcing us to face where we feel disempowered and stuck. Bringing more beauty, relaxation, balance into this area of our lives (Libra things & activities) will help us to loosen, let go and find our center during these extremes. I’ve been doing a lot of restorative yoga and using essential oils which has helped me move into the gentle self-acceptance I’ve needed.

Venus, Libra’s ruling planet, is in Scorpio, the sign of aliveness, honesty and truth. Scorpio finds Libran half-measures, self-justifications, waffling and ambiguity annoying at best. Scorpio Venus (and Mercury) want answers. We can’t lie to our Self, to pretend something is okay when it’s not. If this new moon is not so dramatic for you, it’s light may emerge as an intuition, soul whisper, a knowing that something needs a little more tinkering. Tinker. Life is nothing if not a balancing act.

This new moon puts us in touch with our need for wholeness, and likewise, where we are out of balance. Where do you need greater equanimity? Where do you swing to extremes?  If an area of your life sounds off-tune, false or too forced to your own ears, listen. Look at your resistance. Be honest. What can help you to become more balanced? You may be ready to sing a new song.