The person we represent our self as being, is not often the person we are. Politicians present a straight-talking wholesome face to their constituents while behind the scenes they are making dirty, self-interested deals. Remember the first time you saw a woman without her makeup, and she became a whole different person? A well-crafted image is something we all create in relationship, too. We choose the right clothes, say the right thing or joke, omit certain bits of information about our self, play up others. I notice this phenomenon a lot on Facebook where most folks tend to share only the good and the best of their selves. In this carefully curated gallery of selfies, celebrations (promotions, birthdays), quirky news items, deep thoughts and beautiful pictures are shared liberally. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. I have Venus on the MidHeaven, and Libra Rising: I work hard to create beauty worth beholding!
Venus is the archeytpe of “good marketing.” When she’s good, she’s very good and when she’s bad, well, unless she’s a Scorpio, she leaves those things out of the conversation. No one sees a new mama’s tears in that endless stream of baby pictures, and no one will ever see me having a bad hair day on FB either. It’s not wrong to portray your life in a certain light; it’s just lopsided. When we craft an image we’re also creating a myth of our self and the story you create about you, others believe, too. Is it real? Sure. Is it an illusion? Absolutely. Love the paradox of Libra.
An uncomfortable duality between the myth and reality of my daily life has been nagging at me. So yesterday I did something very long overdue. In my status update I “came out” as a person who has had a chronic illness for over a decade. I explained what Fibromyalgia is (chronic muscle pain syndrome, a mysterious mix of pain, fatigue and insomnia) , how it feels (your muscles don’t relax like normal folks) and how it affects my life (plans cancelled, goals postponed, dark emotions). This act was humanizing and liberating, and also scary. I have fear and shame around how others see me (sick is synonomous with weak). Questioning this, I realised my deepest fear is that I will lose clients and friends. It’s not unfounded. I’ve lost important relationships, people who were too afraid to stay. I knew I could stay in the fuzzy grey zone and continue to perpetuate the illusion of health and competence, but the reality kept tugging at me: people aren’t actually ever seeing the whole me, and by not allowing others to see ME they can’t truly support and appreciate me. I wanted people to see my whole self, not just the side that is comfortable for them to see, and for me to share. So I shared & received overwhelming support, and offers to help: with suggestions from oil pulling to jiu jitsu to cannabis oil (one I will follow up on!). It was emotional for me writing the update, then reading the responses. It felt honest, clean, healing.
We all want what Libra/Venus wants: a happiness born of peace, harmony, love. With fairy dust, we can create it, but this new moon needs more than fairy dust, as there’s a bit of grit in our shoe. Pluto is present. Sure, Libra is the love artist extraordinaire, the part of our Self that shows our best side, using fantastic imagery and artistry creates any image we want. Libra can create marvelously lopsided images, too; the peace-lover refuses to stand up for her self, the alcoholic who saves face by lying to everyone; the woman who stays in a marriage for security and social status. The cardinal sins of Libra? From people-pleasing to full-scale make believe realities, Libra’s sins are those of omission, of creating artifice and harmony at all costs.
New Moons are times of new beginnings. Look to the house in which this new moon falls; this is the area where you’re ready to clear the decks and turn over a new leaf. At 11’56’ Libra the new moon has just barely escaped an opposition to Uranus (though some of us weren’t so lucky!), a harbinger of bold beginnings and sudden seeming endings. Pluto in Capricorn squares this new moon, too, forcing us to face where we feel disempowered and stuck. Bringing more beauty, relaxation, balance into this area of our lives (Libra things & activities) will help us to loosen, let go and find our center during these extremes. I’ve been doing a lot of restorative yoga and using essential oils which has helped me move into the gentle self-acceptance I’ve needed.
Venus, Libra’s ruling planet, is in Scorpio, the sign of aliveness, honesty and truth. Scorpio finds Libran half-measures, self-justifications, waffling and ambiguity annoying at best. Scorpio Venus (and Mercury) want answers. We can’t lie to our Self, to pretend something is okay when it’s not. If this new moon is not so dramatic for you, it’s light may emerge as an intuition, soul whisper, a knowing that something needs a little more tinkering. Tinker. Life is nothing if not a balancing act.
This new moon puts us in touch with our need for wholeness, and likewise, where we are out of balance. Where do you need greater equanimity? Where do you swing to extremes? If an area of your life sounds off-tune, false or too forced to your own ears, listen. Look at your resistance. Be honest. What can help you to become more balanced? You may be ready to sing a new song.
Thanks for this post. The New Moon is in my 4th house – and I fully intend to start emptying Mom’s apartment. She went into an Alzheimer’s facility in June.
I have been saying this since June. My Fibro and other chronic illnesses have been in flare so often, I have one good day every 10.
It is awful that we have the disease. But I would rather know a person’s warts, then look at a photoshopped selfie. I don’t even use Facebook.
Take care. I hope the problems become less harrowing. I am not sure if I am looking foward to the Lunar Eclipse near my Sun later this month. But I sure would like to read your take on it!
I love this post; honesty is absolutely necessary for true intimacy and that is one reason we are so disconnected from others (Facebook for example).. the truth shall set you free .. I wish I knew what house the New Moon falls in but I can tell that so much is going on right now, my life & my boyfriend’s life. I treat alot of folks with fibro because I am a massage thereapist so .. get your massages ! xxoo Tracey
Jessica. Great post. Have you tried to take foodgrade Diatomaceous Earth? I am taking it myself for other things but I remember during my extensive reasearch online that it helped others who suffer from Fybromyalgia.
xoxo Ricki
Ugh!!! Same here… New Moon in 4th. My mom just went into assisted living three weeks ago, and I also had a fibro flare last month. Hubby and I are hoping to downsize our home/living situation within the next year as well. Lots of cleaning out being done, both external and internal, for me.
Stay flexible to changing conditions, Belle, Jessica, and everyone. These are tumultuous times we’re living in, but very soul-evolving as well… and be gentle with yourselves. Namaste.
Thanks Jessica for the posting. YES! It is a time to come out of this massive vertical closet it seems every one is in. A time to stop hiding so we can truly be our selves. The interesting thing of course are the reasons we hide in the first place… these reasons seem not to whole water any more, seem ridiculous or we found out that what we were afraid of losing… isn’t present in our lives any way or it cost us more to hide than any benefits that we thought we would get by hiding… irony of life! lol
As for my self I have Libra on the cusp of my MC and Venus in the 3rd in Pisces (along with the Moon, Mercury conjunct and then Chiron sitting at the edge in late degree). The thing that has been nagging me lately is to stop hiding my light and let it shine! To show the “world” what I can do… which is a lot I have noticed lately. And if I can just stop getting confused in the fog and keep in sight what I was going to do… I reckon I’ll get out of the cave lol Which I pray happens soon… My Sun in Aries… along with North Node, Saturn and Mars have been patience for long enough! If I can just keep those splashes of watch from my fire I may actually get out there 😀
I wont apologized about your illness, of course I wish you the best of health which I believe is achievable for you. Now that you are out in the light, you will see better now and know exactly how to deal with it and over come it within your self. No more blinded by the darkness, the cure is truly in the light. I have been there and this I can say is sure. Besides image doesn’t make one beautiful, it is spirit that makes one beautiful and you are just that… BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks again my dear for everything,
Love you,
Angela XOX
Thank you, Belle. What a great intention for this new moon in your 4th house. Sending you prayers for relief straight away 🙂
Thanks for your sweet words, Angela. I suppose I’ve been living half in and half out of the light, as many people (including my regular readers) have known I have Fibromyalgia but suddenly it started to make me really uncomfortable that everyone does not know. I agree, these are the times of sharing more of our self not less. Courageous authenticity is a force for awakening and spiritual evolution (Uranus in Aries). Keep shining!
Wow, Jessica. Great post and a wonderful nod to Venus in Scorpio clothing. Interestingly, I have been oil pulling now for about a month, first with sesame oil and now with coconut oil. Gums seem healing. I also had a major opening in my fifth chakra which I consider to be ear/nose/throat (ENT) chakra.
Good for you for ‘coming out’ with a potentially dark topic. Yes, feels right with Scorpio there again. As writers, we seem to have a job in sharing that publicly. Others will find courage to ‘come out’ too. I’ve been coming out more and more as a totally surrendered spiritual being who has a dissolved sense of a separate self. For me, this means I have no self-will anymore. It’s completely collapsed into the Is of what Is and I can’t manufacture anything but what is rising up. The good news is that self-hatred is gone (because there is no self to hate) and the weird news is that anything I ‘should’ be doing won’t happen unless it absolutely must happen. (This was all compliments of Neptune in Aqua, btw).
Anyway, the main thing is that now that I’m coming out about it, at least now my friends, family, and community know (kind of – like with your Fibro) who they’re dealing with. You’re right – then we get ‘right-sized’ support and people aren’t as confused when they hear we can’t do it like they might expect a normal person to do it!
You rock.
xoxox
thanks, Erin. I’m glad you are feeling the opening in this influence, too. Fibro puts the kabosh on the collective shoulds because for weeks, months you simply cannot participate. I hear from many in the US – being chronically overwhelmed and exhausted – but from this side of non-doing and “must be in the body fully” (and place, where the pace is a bit slower, though this global pace is converging everywhere) this is a self-inflicted (and cultural) paradigm. So that’s good learning. Maybe as we each return to our respective instincts, we will start a revolution? 😉 xoxo