One of the very first big presents I gave my husband was a surfboard. He wanted one really badly. Surfing was a point of contention in his first marriage. I knew this because, more than several times during those first few years, he bristled with defensiveness at the possibility of anyone (me) encroaching on his Saturday morning surf time. I reassured him that I supported his independence, and the hobby that I knew symbolized so much more than a hobby for him, but no matter how many times I said it, that old wound would resurface.
So I bought the surfboard, because surfing is a part of him in the same way solitude is part of me. I bought it because I wanted there to be no question that I loved and accepted all of him –not just the parts that I understood, agreed with and didn’t interfere with my weekend plans. I bought that surfboard because I wanted to see him smile, a smile as fantastic as the sunrise, and it just so happened that when I did we also got an added benefit: A clean slate. That old haunting apparition he had about not being supported for who he was, those strange ancient arguments that appeared out of nowhere and I never understood went up in smoke.
Luxurious gifts aren’t always necessary, or even practical, for restoring balance to a wobbly relationship dynamic, but I do believe my Libra Rising had honed in on a fundamental disharmony in our relationship and sought to restore it through giving what was lacking. Libra is the archetype of giving and receiving, of equality and balance. When two people (in business, friendship or love), are in sync with the flow of give and take, the relationship thrives, blossoms and blooms. When inequalities spring up like weeds, as they will eventually in any long- term relationship, one of us must do something about it.
This Libra New Moon initiates a season of harmonizing within, and with each other. Yin and yang, outflow and inflow, giving and receiving, rest and action, mind and heart, healing and being healed, nourishing and being nourished, the fundamental balance we feel, or lack thereof, governs our entire life, magnetizing and attracting experiences and people to us. Balance is the dynamic energy underlying everything. And balance is dynamic- never in stasis, always changing. The Scales may swing, sometimes wildly, but they always seek to return to center because the Libra Universe is just, fair and marvelously corrective.
Who knew a surfboard could bring my relationship back into harmony? For the longest time I thought that in order to change a persistent relationship problem I had to drag my husband into therapy and get him on the same page. It takes two, right? Wrong. More often it only takes one to shift the fulcrum. I was reminded of this when watching the delightful movie Grace of Monaco (yes, even princesses have big problems), which drove this point home: When we stop complaining about having our identity compromised, blaming, feeling misunderstood by our partner and instead take responsibility for our feelings and situation, one can move mountains for both. In the movie, Grace Kelly (who incidentally had Venus in Libra), stepped into the role of a lifetime when she let go of her old identity and embraced the roles and obligations every partnership entails. Likewise, every time I take the reins and step into the starring role of my-life-as-partner, a solution appears I can run with.
Libra New Moon is a good time to check in on the give and take of your relationships. Would giving or asking for something re-balance the Scales? It’s easier to complain about what we lack in a primary partnership than to ask for what we need and desire. “I do all the housework, cooking, cleaning, which I enjoy, though he doesn’t pitch in to help even when I ask for it,” said a client recently, “Then a few days ago I realised why I’m unhappy. I’m not receiving at the level I’m giving. I want to receive as much as I give.” The balance of giving and receiving is as fundamental to relationship as sunshine is to life.
Where does this New Moon fall in your chart? Here, you are being given an opportunity to restore balance to your life. Is there something you could give? Ask for? Receive? With spirited Uranus in Aries opposing this New Moon, our personal liberty is raised, our hackles up; you might want to take inventory of all that’s right and wonderful, first, to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Uranus wants us to look from a different angle, to breakthrough old patterns of relating. Meditate on the symbol of the Scales and see what comes up for you. Hold space for less tension, more mutuality, harmony, peace, fairness, appreciation, beauty, ease. Discover the magic every Libra knows: When you bring any one part of your life into balance, you gain spiritual congruence in the rest of your life. Then do what Libra loves most – kick back, relax, appreciate the beauty surrounding you. Enjoy watching your efforts to restore integrity come back to you tenfold.
artwork: Two Baskets of Oranges by Ilya Zomb