My relationship with my creative identity has been in flux for awhile now. While I love astrology my singular “astrologer” identity does not any longer encompass the whole of what I do.
I am, I have been slowly realizing over the years, primarily, a healer. While astrology is one framework I use, it is only one piece. Often I can facilitate greater shifts for someone by simply listening to the energy of the person and responding with little or no assistance from the chart. In fact, the chart can get in the way, especially for those really familiar with astrology. Sometimes when we get too familiar with a thing, a partner, a situation, or even the tree in our front yard, we no longer clearly see it- the abstractions, interpretations, technical descriptions distracting us from truth.
My Sun is in Cancer, and so is my Midheaven. Using astrology, I have the Spirit (Sun) and mission (Midheaven) of a Healer (yes, astrology, reliably, “works”). The mission of a healer is broader than that of an astrologer; a healer sees the person in front of them as whole, and holds space for that recognition to occur for them. An astrologer dispenses information and counsels; a healer facilitates awakening to Divine Self.
This Leo eclipse brings creative identity questions to the forefront of our consciousness. Are we fulfilled in our heart’s path and truth? Are we appreciating the unique contribution we make to the whole? Do we have the right audience for our message? Jupiter, planet of expansion, now in Scorpio (transformation) is square this eclipse, so we may feel we’ve outgrown the pot in which we are planted. Is there something new we want to bring in – because it would feel good to spread our wings and fly?
It’s scary stepping into the unknown. A leap into a bold new frontier is a leap of faith. The greatest fear each of us truly face is the unknown itself. Every day, this strange, new world is requiring each of us to get a little more comfortable with uncertainty, a little more courageous with trusting our heart over what our five senses tell us. It’s honoring the song that wants to be sung, the feeling that wants to be felt, that centers and guides us. Those choices that appear to be “logical” or “practical” are more often a result of old conditioning and programming than the Soul’s truth. To expand and evolve beyond where we are, we really do have to “wing it” in order to find out what we’re capable of.
…And, over and over, I’ve had evidence that Spirit rises up to meet us when we do.
For a long time now, I’ve been allowing astrology to be the reliable tarmac runway, the solid takeoff strip that I warm up on which allows my plane to fly. I wait till I get in the air to abandon the chart, to fly with my intuition entirely. That’s been a safe choice.
Am I a plane… or a bird? The plane can be cumbersome, too unwieldy in its mechanics, controls. A bird just lifts off, directly off the ground. It doesn’t need a running start.
When I go into the area behind my heart, I see a vision of me holding a bird in her hands. She wants to fly free, without labels, without fulfilling others expectations to be or “do” a certain way — it would feel so freeing, so liberating. And there’s a little fear there.
You might find the energy field around your heart particularly strongly right now. Feel the space right behind your heart, in your spine, relax and settle in. Breathe into any fear or tightness that comes up. Be with it, allowing it to exist and move through at it’s own pace. Connect with the deep and still knowing that you are always okay. All is well.
In the coming months, you’ll see the shift in my creative identity taking place on my website. Creative new beginnings require us to lose the training wheels (or runway) and step into a larger, expanded version of our self, having faith that all will be well. Likewise, I wish you only success in your own shifts and transformations.
Wishing you a joyful and blessed rebirth. I am sure your flight will make the sky more beautiful.
This is speaking to exactly where I’m finding myself these days. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and your power amidst this transformative time. May it be sweet and revealing and ultimately fulfilling in a way that lights you up from the inside out. xoxo
You say you are a healer but you fobbed me off and said you didn’t have time when i appealed to you for help. I was clearly in need and in pain but you didn’t offer any concern. So you only hear the elite?
Your actions don’t jive with the above statement that you care about healing. You made me feel shunted aside and supremely unhelped when I reached out to you in pain. Your reflection seems merely self-serving. Our son pushed us away and hasn’t felt like he wants to be a part of our family for several years. This seemed to come out of the blue. But when we wrote you about it, you hadn’t the time or heart to help.are you really a healer?
Hi Cheri,
I am sorry you feel this way, and am sorry that you are in such pain.
In our last email exchange I said I was traveling and would be available to consult at my return. Just like any other professional, there are office hours and vacations to observe.
Jessica
Hi Jessica,
It is a strange time for sure. We are moving closer to our core but does that mean we have to grab a new name? No matter what you call yourself, you do not change – just be you – we love you.
To answer your question, there is no “have to” only “want to”. Thanks for the love! Jessica
I have felt this way, too, as of late. For 25 years, I moonlighted as a “musician,” a “performer” (a day job was the safe option, oh how we love safety!) and took the leap to ditch the day job in 2014… And now, after clearing so much old family trauma and baggage, I find I actually don’t enjoy being an entertainer. Oh, I still LOVE to play and sing, and God has been walking closely with me this last year to help me understand my Gift (music), but there is so much I still don’t know, so much I cannot do right now because I lack formal training, money, and time (other family commitments), so much I’m unsure of… and I’ve been wondering lately, just WHAT it is I’m supposed to be DOING. :/ especially when anything I reach for, I feel like my hand is getting slapped out of the cookie jar… (saturn transiting my 4th house and Neptune, which is the base of a Yod I have with Pluto and Chiron for the apex) I feel very lost, and that scares me a bit because all this talk about the north/south nodes in Leo/Aqua. make me worry that it may be too late, like I’ve missed my “chance.”
I dunno. It HAS been a pleasure, though, to watch so many other people in my circle come into their own. <3 I think “healer” is a fitting title for you; your articles have helped me over the last few years, especially when I get caught up in minutiae (ha, that’s my virgo asc talking) and need help seeing the “long view.” 🙂
I look forward to seeing where you’re going to fly, little bird. <3
(And VERY GLAD to read you are OK what with Kilauea doing her thing — I was worried!)