I’ve written 4 books, all of which feature astrology. I studied and practiced astrology for decades, and I was a professional astrologer for most of that. So, do I still offer astrology? And, if not, or if so, what do I do in a session, now?
These are good questions. I get asked them often. The elevator speech answer is: I do intuitive sessions, and connect with Spirit Guidance. I channel. It feels like having a conversation with a friend, a friend who is a little psychic, a lot intuitive, and who knows a ton of astrology, along with some other stuff that interests her– like depth psychology, consciousness, energy practices, relationship and more. But it’s not a “chart reading”.
I am a very good astrologer. I have had some amazing astrology sessions. I still use astrology in some sessions; some more than others. It remains a very magical-feeling tool. Yet, at a certain point I realized I no longer needed the astrology. It started to feel cumbersome, like I was required to punch in certain inputs, had to speak this particular language when it would feel far more elegant and effortless to directly speak to the issues I was already feeling. And it had its limitations. When you engage a system of thought as highly developed as ours, it is easy to allow the cognitive construct of belief and experience to lead you. Even if you have learned 25 ways of interpreting one aspect, it can take you out of fresh presence of discovering the 26th, 27th – or something entirely different that wants to make itself known.
Doing an astrology reading also meant fulfilling expectations to tick off all the boxes for a reading…and that became a sort of limiting exo-skeleton that prevented me from freely moving my intuitive and psychic body around, from discovering what I can do without it. Allowing my natural wisdom and intuition to flow unobstructed became more desirable.
I appreciate the analogy of flying an airplane versus being the bird. Why would a bird pilot an airplane – fill up the fuel tank, go through the controls in the flight deck, safety checks, get on the runway and wait for the signal to takeoff- if it has the wings to simply lift off and fly on its own? I discovered: I actually didn’t need to do any of that. I already have wings.
Still, it took me time to stop getting in the pilot seat when I’d spent decades perfecting it. Flying the astrology airplane was familiar and comfortable to a degree (though it was becoming increasingly less so). But the first few times I had the birth chart in front of me and I literally forgot to look, I was so busy offering direct Spirit advice, the sessions felt so much more honest and aligned for me, and I just knew.
…I knew I was ready to walk through that door of change.
…I knew I had to let go of something I am really good at in order to let something new happen.
…and I was at that point where you settle in, take your place. I had prepared, and done everything right… but it was a calling that no longer felt totally aligned with me, or at least in that version.
Even though my journey is my own, I am certain many of you can relate. Change requires us to let go of the familiar, even when some aspects of the familiar still feel good. Sometimes we make the choice to walk away from something or someone that appears good, from the outside, but doesn’t feel good in-here, and leave people scratching their heads.
It takes courage.
And, once we walk through that door of change, we walk into that liminal in-between space of transformation, and we wait.
Plenty of time for second-guessing, fear of the unknown, to come in…
Because okay, you’ve visited, and you think you really like it, but if you haven’t lived in the Caribbean, or California, how can you know for sure that it will be good? What if you get homesick? What if you regret it? The list is as long as your memory of everything that “didn’t work out”…
So, I ask: What feels right to me, right now? (the same question I ask clients).
For so many who are learning to be okay with the unfamiliar and unknown on all new levels, this is the power we always have. What feels right and true for us, in this moment. Right now, right here, in our body. Not in our minds’ story about the future. Am I okay with this, in this moment? What do I want right now? Be specific. Right now, do I want to be in this: house, relationship, job? Be Honest. I mean it! (and hey, you are not the first person to discover: Omg, I have been lying to myself about this. I actually DO WANT to be here.) Dropping in, as a practice, takes us out of our head, out of conditioning, and into our Divine Intuition. This will not only keep us in Presence and in Truth, it helps so much with being in that interminably long liminal in-between space.
Right now, in my calling, I can identify with those who are gender-fluid. I want to express what feels most natural at any given moment and discover what’s fresh, and right here without being defined by, or socially held to, a construct. I still use astrology in sessions, but not in all of them. I use it when it feels right to use, and I don’t use it when it doesn’t. I am giving myself plenty of flexibility — which, if you think about it, is not very status quo! Being “undefined” or fluid, whether in one’s sexuality, gender, lifestyle, artistry or career, is not something our culture is comfortable with, at least not historically.
And so if I try and explain this transition, the energy of explaining easily gets in the way. I open myself up to not wanting to disappoint another’s desire for a “reading”, or my desire for validation, or my need to feel valued…
Breathe, pull back into my energy. My I AM. And anchor into the energetic feeling of my reality:
The Truth is, when I am jamming, I feel like a Light-filled Rockstar. I feel so FREE. This is what I want, right now.
…And, so, like explaining a divorce (except we never really became ex’s; we still sleep together) the simplest explanation is usually the best one. When asked if I do astrology readings I reply, “This is what I do now.”