Your Identity Is Abundance

by | Feb 1, 2022 | Intuition in Daily Life, Intuitive Energy Divination Cards | 0 comments

As long as you think you don’t have something, you won’t have it…

This was the message Spirit shared with me this morning.

I was in the middle of my reconnection practice when I asked Spirit to show me what it feels like to Root into my pelvic bowl, my Seat of Knowing, but I knew that behind that question was a sense of “What if I can’t do it…?”

In knowing myself as a clear vessel for connection, one of the consistent issues I run into is feeling myself to be limited.

Lacking… needing, wanting something that I think I can’t get, be, or have.

And of course I’ve a lifetime of experiences to corroborate this; times when I didn’t know… I couldn’t be… I didn’t have… and I didn’t know why…

The paradox here is that when you are sitting with “I don’t/can’t have” you are not in “I have”.

When you are in I AM NOT you cannot be in the I AM.

And unfortunately, from that place of lack (not Abundance), it is impossible to get from here …to there.

But…you might say…I look around and I really don’t have these things I want, Jessica…

To which I would reply: This is either because your Soul doesn’t truly want them right now (more about this in a future post)-or- because you are in misunderstanding about who you truly are. The issue is mistaken identity.

That’s what I’d like to talk about, here and now. Who you truly are: Your Divine Identity.

You are Everything.

…Just because you aren’t in the experience you want doesn’t mean you aren’t that experience.

We are ALWAYS connected to our Divinity, unlimited in ability to co-create exactly what our Soul wants to experience, BUT our ideas, our perceptions, our conditioning, usually from childhood, can block us from being a clear channel.

Honestly, it can feel exactly like self-sabotage. Because that’s what it feels like when our Ego’s conditioning blocks our Soul from feeling and being purposeful, fulfilled, abundant.

I am so familiar with this, and it is incredibly painful.

At the core of the struggle: We’ve forgotten who we really are…

It’s like sitting in your house and believing that because you are sitting there at home right now you can’t ever be in Paris (gheesh, does this describe where you are in your thinking, as a result of the pandemic? Pandemic conditioning, anyone?).

Your Soul is everything and everywhere, and just because you aren’t in Paris in this moment, in this next one you really can be in Paris, whether energetically, mentally, or geographically – if that’s what your Soul wants for you.

See?

You are Everything. 

…Just because you aren’t in the experience you want doesn’t mean you aren’t that experience.

Bear with me here because this concept is sooooo deep, so let it take a minute to sink in.

You already ARE EVERYTHING. You already HAVE EVERYTHING.

Really KNOW this, in your body and feelings, and you will change EVERYTHING.

What I’m talking about, here, is a major Identity Shift. 

A shift from lack into Abundance; a shift from not enough-ness to I AM ENOUGH, no matter what.

A shift from believing yourself to be small and limited, to believing yourself to have access to your Divinity, Connection, Guidance, Soul Knowing…whatever it is you need, at will, at any given time.

Here’s a metaphor for you: Do you believe yourself to be the coconut tree, or the bar of soap? Here in Hawaii, coconuts abound, and they make just about everything- from food to lotion to fragrance. If you are aligned with your Divinity, you are resourceful. You don’t define yourself to being just one thing. Why would you? You are Divinity, which can do, be, see, experience anything. That’s one of your MAIN reasons your Soul has for being in a body; a diversity of experiences. This means when plans or circumstances change, you can figure it out, because you GET TO experience something else.

Not because you can’t have one thing or another, but because you GET TO HAVE something new.

Abundance is BE-ing, at essence.

BE-ing able to have a full, complete, experience of this moment, then the next, no matter what this moment is asking of us.

I AM Enough is exactly the same. You are enough because you are here.

The Astrology of the Abundant True Self

Those who study astrology know that Jupiter is the planet of Abundance.

Last year (and into this one), the Saturn/Uranus square transited my fourth house Jupiter in Aquarius. I will attempt to describe how this has felt, while knowing I cannot do it justice with words. At first I wavered between the marvelous sense of expansiveness that I know myself to BE (fourth house=innermost self; Jupiter=abundance) and this little prick of limitation (Saturn). Then, the limitations started rapidly piling up; all the things I couldn’t do, be, or have at that moment.

…Chronic pain (I have fibromyalgia, and this flared up strongly).

…Lack of relationships/connection (I had just moved to Hawaii when the pandemic began, so I have little community here).

…Lack of mobility and freedom (I chose to socially distance and not travel).

…all activated major doubts around whether I will have the ability to manifest my next step.

I do think the pandemic has played a star role in triggering this for me, but it was not its source. The source is in my childhood conditioning (fourth house). The shaming messages I received about being weird/strange/different (Aquarius) and not being “enough”, and the reality of neglect; of often not having enough (Saturn, planet of limitation, co-rules the sign of Aquarius)…alienation and not-enough-ness is what arose for me when I was triggered by all those pandemic limitations.

Honestly, I thought I was done with all of this. I’ve worked on this before. Apparently, I was not.

I noticed a duality or split occurring when I’m in “not enough”. “Enough” gets inflated with so much internal pressure and unrealism attached to it, the fact of my Divinity becomes special, elevated, out of reach, and something to achieve, instead of being my ordinary True Self state. I bounced between not enough and internal striving for something unattainable.  Till the striving itself became unbearable and then that would crash me down into deep self-judgment and shame.

Not pretty, I know.

…Again, when we think we need to achieve something (something special, something we don’t have) we are operating from lack. When we strive for what we are not/don’t have, we are squarely in I AM NOT. Which feels awful, because it’s untrue.

…And I know connection to True Self Divinity (and Abundant Be-ing) is ordinary and every day and neutral in feeling. It is not an extraordinary gift only given to a few special few. Jupiter over-inflates, over-endows, certain things with a special luminous quality; some people do this in love relationship when Jupiter is involved, but I can over-endow Spirit Connection!

It was definitely a weird experience, one that has shown me the depths and heights of my relationship to my True Self.

Always, the resolution is returning to Be-ing. Ordinary, natural, neutral, expansive state of Be-ing. The I AM.

“I AM” is your birthright… I AM is Abundant…I AM is EVERYTHING…I AM has and knows EVERYTHING

This is the transformative Identity Shift I was talking about earlier. It’s the one I’m right in the midst of making.

Releasing Conditioning

Divinity, as an inward reality and ability to connect, is not a magical thing– it is equally given to One and All.

You are a conduit or vessel to Truth, your Soul, True Self…whatever you would like to call it. Imagine you can feel this as a chamber of light within, like a pipe or straw. Your conditioned thoughts will contract the pipe, create pressure, make the connection smaller. You will experience congestion and blockages as lack of clarity, confusion, emotion.

When you are in Light, those pipes are open, flowing, clear and you feel neutral and generally good.

The only thing that creates a more or less clear connection to Source is the conditioned thoughts you have.

What to do? Most of us have extremely persistent conditioning which surfaces at different times. First, acknowledge what the subconscious programming/conditioning IS. Then, there are many ways I work to help clear this: including EFT, and my energy work, and many of these energy tips I feature on my blog (and increasingly also my Facebook page here).

Releasing the conditioning of NOT ENOUGH is essential to move into your Abundant True Self. I recently discovered this (linked) EFT based exercise which I am personally playing with.  By the way, we don’t have to do this work alone. Spirit funds us through others; resources, and people. Allowing oneself to receive is also a recognition of the Abundant Self;  so, investing in oneself, whether healing partnerships or new tools to get us down the road, is apart of the process.

I also call my Divinity forward. Literally feeling myself as Light, and the other as a different energetic layer of preoccupation. I play with feeling being in my embodied Light, then setting an intention for the deepest gentleness and compassion I can muster, to step forward and soothe the sense of contraction I feel –that energetic conditioned over-layer, which is often accompanied by emotion like sadness, or anxiety. I invoke gentleness and as much self-love and understanding for this aspect of myself who is still so very vulnerable to believing I AM NOT instead of always knowing that I AM.

Using the Intuitive Energy Deck for Inner Work

Another resource continues to be the Divination Deck. It helps tremendously with all of this. It’s like talking directly to Spirit, and having it reply, truthfully, simply, steadily, gently is a consistent phenomenon, one I continue to marvel at.

I’ve noticed specific cards appear with the Abundance card. When “I’m not enough” is up internally, the Shame card appears. This may pair with the Judgment card. To paraphrase Brene Brown: without judgment, shame cannot survive. When I ask Spirit, “What is the alternative to this? Show me the way through…” (a question I’ve found highly useful) I might pull Gentleness, or Self-Forgiveness.  Each card comes with energy exercises to bring one back into relationship and connection with Truth, and the writing itself instantly clears energies at a level I’ve never before experienced with a deck.

If you experience ongoing conflict between your conditioned Self and your True Self, this deck was MADE for YOU! Truly.

Knowing, embodying, my True Divine Self is ongoing.

The past few months have been a really odd time for many of us, but I think it’s because we are clearing at all new levels.

I don’t claim to have healed this entirely, not yet, but I’ve gotten so much further down the road. However, I want to say: so much of the work you see me manifest arises entirely because and out of this long conversation with myself.

I’m sure there will be more conversations shared, in the future. Till then, I hope you are having a peaceful 2022 so far. Till next time, may you know your Self as Light, and may you deeply know your birthright: Your Abundant Divine True Self.

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