(please enjoy this repost – from my archives!)
I notice the more I focus on resolving or fixing anything, the worse I feel. It’s the law of what you focus on grows: Whatever obstacle I think I’m experiencing only becomes more solid.
It would seem that a problem can only remain a problem as long as I believe it is one. The moment I can relax, accept, invite and allow a solution to appear, it either resolves itself, or dissolves entirely.
Is it magic? Smoke and mirrors? When a problem ceases to be a problem entirely, it can feel that way. When our consciousness finds the grace to be okay with what is happening, that is what allows solutions to appear, circumstances to shift — as if by magic.
…It’s as if only when you become willing to inhabit your Divinity more fully, can the Divine in you step in to help.
I have a funny story around this. We were looking for homes, relocating from the Bay Area to Hawaii, and the clock was ticking- we had less than 24 hours to find one. It was up to me, since my husband was busy with a gazillion new colleagues, and in this particular moment I was due to look at a house in 15 minutes. But when I reached for my rental car key I realized John had it, and he was in a meeting, unable to bring it to me. I called the renter and explained my situation. She told me it was the only time she could show us the house.
I hung up and felt the edge of anxiety ebb into my consciousness: Our plane left tomorrow evening, we had no home, things were looking grim. All of the houses we’d seen so far were, frankly, real s***holes. This was the one and only house I’d pinned my hopes on, and now, this. What to do? I didn’t want to spin out into defeat.
I took this window of time as an opportunity to go swimming.
I jumped into the Infinity pool (no joke). Between swimming laps and floating, I invited Spirit’s help. Then, floating on my back I experienced the sensation of being held. It was a small shift for such a big ask, but I had an awareness I was being Divinely supported. My intuition soon told me to leave the pool, and I reluctantly did. Back in the room, I checked my phone. Our prospective landlord said she would come to my hotel, and pick me up, to show me the house. Could I please be ready in 10 minutes?
The house was perfect for us, and soon after, it was ours.
We so easily link a cause with an effect: that a person or circumstance is causing us pain, inconvenience, a bad day, or difficult life. I could’ve told myself the missing key had ruined my chance to see a nice house, for instance.
It begs the question: What if the perceptual association we make — that THIS is a problem — is the actual problem?
It reminds me of a story I had heard from our then real estate agent, named Spirit, yes, Spirit ;). For years before she was famous, Spirit worked with the healer and author Byron Katie, coordinating her satsang. Katie was getting bigger, attracting a wider audience, and Spirit became worried about the facility size not being able to hold the numbers of participants. To which Katie replied (in her Byron Katie way), “Sweetie, I’m just not sure that a room has a size”. And, sure enough, the room somehow expanded to hold all attendees.
We can always keep our focus on the problem — for instance, on not having the key. I could have gone into a blame spiral toward myself, or John, for its absence. I could have gone into panic about the future. Instead, I invited and allowed a solution to appear.
What would’ve happened had I not: made the decision to take a nice swim, Invited and Allowed my Divinity to help me… and instead crumpled like a used towel, defeated by the perception of a problem? Would everything have worked out?
I’ll never know, but to paraphrase Byron Katie…I can always know which choice will cause me less suffering.
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