Hi Jessica,

Is there any way I could have a different Venus placement than what astrology reports say? I’ve tried several different ones, and they all say I have Venus in Gemini. The problem is, I’m the total opposite of what a person with Venus in Gemini is supposed to be like. I’m very quiet and shy, I don’t know how to flirt, and I like having a partner who is possessive of me. I believe that my natal chart is accurate in all other respects, and this one exception is troubling to me. If you could help me, I would really appreciate it. I was born on July 14, 1980 at 10:52 AM in Covington, KY USA. Thank you very much!

You’re not the first person who has written asking similar. Some people don’t feel connected to their Venus sign at all. My first line of response is always, yes, that’s your Venus sign (unless the birth information is inaccurate). But then I dig a little deeper into why you don’t identify with the traits of your sign.

Your Venus is in Gemini, indicating a flirtatious, open approach to relating. But it’s in a square relationship to Saturn in Virgo. Squares indicate friction and obstacles – it’s hard for us to see one planet clearly without the other planet getting in the way, asking for equal attention and air time. The planet Saturn represents our inhibitions, restraints, and fears. Saturn inhibits, restrains and holds back the naturally light, easy breezy sign of Gemini. I imagine it’s hard for your first house Saturn in Virgo to feel relaxed in social/romantic situations, and sometimes in your body. Saturn in Virgo has that niggling tendency to hold itself back, out of shame, guilt or just not feeling worthy enough. Venus wants to enjoy and feel good about herself, but then Saturn kicks in with a mental list about ‘why I’m not good enough…’ and without becoming conscious of any shame, guilt or feelings of inadequacy you have about your self-esteem, worthiness and lovability, your Gemini Venus can feel held back.

The good news is, as you allow your self to more deeply understand and accept your social discomfort, awkwardness and shyness, the flirty & fun potential of the Venus in Gemini you read about will start to blossom and ultimately bloom inside of you. But this all needs to develop inside you, over time, and it will take a bit of work, along with experience, hard knocks & clear-seeing (Saturn). Shyness is synonymous with afraid, reluctant and unsure, so it’s important for you to understand your fears. The ‘possessiveness’ you mention is a form of fear, too. Acceptance is it’s own Venusian aphrodisiac. The simple art of self-acceptance will go a long way for you: accepting your femininity, beauty, body, inner longings, desires, and even your awkwardness (yes, you can accept your awkwardness and totally eliminate it!). You may never be the stereotypical Venus in Gemini; Saturn adds that you’re a bit more reserved and cautious. But I can imagine people will someday say, “She seemed a little dull and disinterested at first, but once when you get to know her, she’s fun & fascinating!”

Finally, for everyone who feels their Venus (or Sun) sign doesn’t quite describe them: the planets offer an embodied path to more fulfilling sensuality, self-esteem, and happiness. But astrology is an abstract system. We’re human beings and being out of touch with an aspect of one’s self is a human thing. For karmic and evolutionary intention reasons maybe we have a hard time contacting our feminine sensuality (Venus square nodes, or un-aspected Venus) or our Venus is overwhelmed by a natal chart so different in nature (for example a watery Venus in a fire dominated chart). I’ve had clients with all of the above and they’ve had a hard time accessing (or even recognizing!) their Venus, within. It makes sense when you think about it: as we recognize that something’s not quite right or missing inside our self, that recognition motivates growth and personal development. A-ha! that’s the whole point of being a multi-dimensional human being, not just a Venus ‘sign’! This is true for any personal planet: when a Sun, Mercury, Mars etc. description/placement doesn’t sit ‘right’ with you it can point the way to a need for developmental work and personal integration.