Some things we will never know the answers to; mystery questions that will change the course of our lives if we chose to follow and answer to them. UFO’s, crop circles, thirteen crystal skulls that have come to earth to bring us peace and healing. Then there’s the whole question of death, reincarnation, the ultimate meaning of our existence. I’m may be more spiritually curious as the next person, but thanks to my three year brush with Pluto, my perspective has changed. I love to search for answers but I’ve also come to understand some searches are bottomless – hollow, even.
(while transiting Pluto grand crossed my Mars-Sun-Pluto t-square), I met a man who was convinced he was my soul mate. As you may know, I already have a soul mate. But, this person was a spiritually respectable person, and was so sure that we shared something timeless, and it so happened I was exploring this question astrologically so my curiosity was primed. I handled this curiosity, this other person’s attraction toward me, the best that I could – which is to say, badly. It ended rather sorrily, messily, and the whole situation brought my soul mate husband and I closer together than ever – but not without opening ancient wounds in both of us. Fast forward to a year later, present day. My husband and I are at the exact same place this last event occurred, when the presenter pulls aside my husband during a break and says: “I recognized you when you first walked in the room: you are my big brother from past live(s).” What proceeds is an eerily similar interaction to what happened *exactly* a year ago (to this week) at this *exact* same place, and I’m purposefully omitting many details here, but lo and behold – this man resembles the Other in ethnic background and physical corporature (my husband even exclaimed to me, he even looks like him!). Now my husband’s ‘little brother’ wants a relationship. They’re gonna Skype. To talk. When we were saying our goodbyes, no. 2 said to me, “Take care of my big brother for me!” Hmmm.
Of all the wyrd things. There is a Twelfth House Pluto in Libra form of Universal hilarity in all of this. I don’t think I would’ve gotten in so much trouble had no. 1 not been a man, and I a woman. A heterosexual man-man past life connection is much…well, less complicated by sex. Little brother’s existence does not threaten me. As this wrinkle in time folds back, I’m reminded that my spiritual curiosity had a cost, and also of the value of allowing mystery to remain a mystery.
This realm of Mystery belongs to Pluto, whose great love affair is with exploring the unknowable. We can go too far into the dark and lose our way back. Just ask anyone whose reached that point of staring down the barrel of a life-changing intriguing attraction – toward a mysterious anything or anyone. It’s important to listen to curiosity; some attractions, toward a place, people, or a hobby, can change our lives, and Pluto holds our drive to uncover, unearth, dismantle, to go as far as we can. We all have that relentless Plutonian urge inside -and if we don’t admit that we have human obsessions, compulsions, urges, desires and drives (some of which aren’t kind) we’re just not being honest (I’m reminded of that famous scene in the movie Eyes Wide Shut, where Nicole Kidman’s character admits, to a jaw gaping Tom Cruise that she had a full blown fantasy about another man who was not her husband. Um, yes she’s human. In anger, he proceeds to follow his fascination/darkness into a… Mystery cult. In the last scene they’re Christmas shopping, of all things, wanting to go home and yep, have sex– to forget all of it). I have a friend with a Third House Pluto, and a voracious intellectual appetite that could be deemed obsessive if he weren’t so damn smart. Another First House Pluto friend, determined to know herself, in that search she’s also driven so deeply inward it’s hard to find a way back (some day she’ll have a degree in the psychology of Me and be teaching us about our darkness). Where Pluto falls in our chart, we have a contract with Mystery, but even as we will find the hidden wealth of ‘Pluto’s riches’ there, it’s important to respect the boundaries of darkness and even, sometimes, to quietly back away. Emptiness is Pluto’s cosmic joke, so wherever we find Pluto in our chart, if we haven’t navigated that area with a degree of respect, awe and wisdom, we may find our self asking: All this — and for what?
I still am fascinated by trying to understand the spiritual contracts we have with others (Twelfth House Pluto in Libra). Am I with my karmic mate or my soul mate? is still one question I enjoy wrestling with astrologically, but more and more I wonder: Does it really matter? The answer to who this person is (or was) to us, doesn’t negate the integrity and accountability we have to others in the present moment because mostly, out of all this cosmic questioning, I’ve also come to respect the present moment in a whole new way. Mystery is mystery for a reason. If we were given the answers ahead of time, we wouldn’t even bother to problem solve, grow and learn. The choices that shape the karma of our lives are made in actions of this moment …and the next.Whether you’re with your karmic mate, soul mate, a soul pod family member or your reincarnated grandfather from your life as an Indian princess, the only thing that truly matters is how soulful you are with whomever you are with. There’s no more potent place to be than in this present moment -than loving the ones you’re with.