jilliansaphotographerIn an attempt to organize and streamline my unfinished office, I bought a unfinished desk. I had spent months looking for a great desk and I finally made a practical choice, a plain but sturdy one, which, with elbow grease, has potential. Fretting that I had just purchased something more to add to my to do list, I asked my husband, who thought the desk was just okay, how he would refinish it. He snarkishly replied that he’d send it back to where it came from, aptly reflecting my mounting dispiritedness. When we take on a spiritually monumental growth task: to publish a book, start a business, refinish a room, renovate a house, or learn a new skill, at some point we will be daunted by the work, overwhelmed, and all of our our personal inadequacies will be triggered. We may procrastinate. We may even give up.  Yet the humble work of perfecting what is unfinished has sacred potential. At the space between who we  are and the perfection we desire, there sits The Virgin, purifying & perfecting us.

Sometimes we consciously sign up for Virgo work, and sometimes we don’t. For example, my husband and I have been renovating and restoring our 85 year old home for almost two years. It’s been very difficult for me. Admittedly, I didn’t even want to start the project – and every new room we took on, every new problem we discovered, well, I’ve resisted every step of the way. Virgo falls in my Twelfth House. Throughout, I’ve experienced chemical sensitivities, respiratory infections from wood dust in the air, endless last minute interruptions from contractors, and the typical homeowner sacrifices of weekend social and play time. Owning an old home used to be an idyllic fantasy to me. No longer! And right when we rest on our laurels from a ‘job well done’- a new one springs up. Enter the season of The Drudge, a new self-character who complained about everything. It’s not that I was no longer having fun with any of it; I wasn’t fun, I wasn’t happy.

Of course my relationship to Virgo was out of whack. While I love doing self-improvement anything; throw home improvement into the mix and I fall into a Twilight Zone universe, one where the lively world is drained of it’s color. According to the chiropractor who was regularly adjusting me, my Crown Chakra had even closed.

It turns out this was the Creator’s way of perfecting me. We may’ve started this project to improve our home, but as we worked away I was worked over. I’ve begun to see what the road to home-improvement has taught me about self-improvement as I link my relationship between the Earth’s ecology and my own, in new ways. Being unable to ignore paint fumes with high VOC’s has led to many other health investigations- from deodorant to the healing value of nettle tea, to natural hair dye that doesn’t damage your health (which doesn’t exist yet – hello?!). And doing monotonous, repetitive mundane work gives a gal plenty of time for personal contemplation, if she so chooses. There is a huge satisfaction in getting your hands dirty– one that you just can’t get from a computer. So under Virgo’s steady gaze of humble self-appraisal, I began to use the time to self-quiet, ground into my body, and learn to take pleasure in incremental achievements.

My life, like my house, is unfinished. We all are works in progress. We all lead unfinished lives. Tackling what is unfinished in one’s life, or oneself is a project, one that involves commitment, persistence, patience, endless problem solving and sacrifice. Is there tedium ahead? Check. Overwhelm? Second-guessing? Check, check. These are the challenges we are certain to face when something inside of us calls out for growth and mastery. Virgo understands, and empathizes. When we are broken down & humbled, I believe, She can see where all this is headed far better than we. At that point, the Virgin perfects by simply planting the desire for better. Growth? It’s complimentary.

New moons are a good time for setting new intentions. For Virgo, this intention might involve any desire for an improved, better version of our life. Attitudinal, physical or spiritual – what could use cleaning up in our life? Is our physical body complaining about a diet change we have yet to take care of? Attuned to concrete details, Virgo offers the persistence and patience to create an action plan. We may feel unfinished and not quite ready. It’s wise to listen to our intuitive messages when they say, “not ready yet”. But Virgo’s cosmic joke is that we may likely never be that ready. Virgo asks us to humbly examine where we’re not integrated, where our body-mind-spirit is out of step with our heart, then to fix it, and get out of our own way. Falling short and humbly picking oneself up again, bumping into walls and figuring things out- all are part of an unfinished life.