This is a simple way to shift stuck energy. I’ve used this method of working with relationship energy, spiritually, for years, and been amazed not only at the difference I’ve felt afterwards, but how others’ respond as if they were healed, too. Often we don’t need to have “the conversation”- the one that brings up old wounds and potentially reopens bad feelings. Instead, we can effect a shift with Spirit.

To Forgive Others:

Sit quietly in meditation. Ground and call in any protection or light. Declare this space for healing only; nothing you mentally declare to another in this space affects others in any negative way.

Think of a person you would like to forgive. On a scale of 1-10 degrees, with 10 being the most, how much do you want to forgive them? If you get a 7, then know you are working with the 3 degrees/parts of your self that doesn’t want to release.

Imagine the higher self of that person sitting across from you. Ask them to listen. Let them know how much they hurt you. Go ahead and say what you feel has been left unsaid, whatever is holding you back from forgiving them. You are speaking to their higher self, not their flawed human self, so they can take whatever it is you have to say. You’ll likely notice they just keep beaming unconditional love at you (which, ironically, can be annoying if you’re trying to stay angry!).

After you feel complete, say: I now release all resentment and righteousness toward you. Any limiting small part of me that secretly harbors injury, dislike, hatred or contempt is now filled with the light I am. I know there is no injury or threat, word, deed or action that can ever harm me, for I am Eternal. All levels of my being now say yes to ALL IS FORGIVEN. I forgive you and let you go in love.

Any time this person comes into mind over the next few days, just reaffirm: ALL IS FORGIVEN. I forgive you and let you go in love.

I’ve had clients express concern that the other person will experience the consequences of expressing our anger or pain. That’s why you declare this space for healing only. Know that your person only receives the benefit of this forgiveness ritual.

If you are forgiving someone who you do not want in your life any longer you can add this on to the end of your affirmation: I now release (name) who is no longer part of the divine plan of my life, as they now release me and find their good elsewhere. This step is important: others subconsciously sense the positive healing you’ve just created and they may reach out for more of your goodness! Several times after doing a forgiveness ritual, after months or years of no contact, a person has called or emailed me totally out of the blue. Now I remember to release them if I don’t want them in my life.

You can also ask for another’s forgiveness during this process by invoking the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer: I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

To Forgive Oneself:

I recently had an experience where I repeatedly didn’t listen to the voice of my True Self/intuition, and suffered serious consequences for it, to the point where Spirit told me I needed to start using my gifts or life will get harder! Of course, Spirit isn’t punitive; it doesn’t punish. We torture our self with self-judgment, regret, perfectionism or recriminations and that’s what makes our life so much harder.

Sit quietly in meditation. Ground and call in any protection or light.

Now visualize whatever it is you regret doing or not doing, something you have a hard time forgiving your self around. Don’t sugar coat it. You can see how you made your life, or another’s, much harder than needed. But you can also see that the judgments you hold on yourself around this are denying your healing and forward movement. There is nothing in this world that does not deserve forgiveness. Forgiveness is free for anyone asking. You deserve forgiveness.

Declare: I now forgive myself for (ignoring my intuition, saying that thing that hurt another, etc.). I know all is forgiven in Spirit.

You might also want to declare your intention/commitment to not make the same mistake again. For instance, the next time I hear that still, calm, quiet voice of my intuition, I’ve vowed to pause for at least 30 seconds -before deciding to blow it off.

Over the next few days, anytime you think of the incident, say: I forgive myself. All Is Forgiven. I am already whole and healed.