Lately, something has become more clear in my spiritual practice. The more I focus on resolving or fixing anything, the worse I feel. It’s the law of what you focus on grows: Whatever obstacle I think I’m experiencing only becomes more solid.
A problem can only remain a problem as long as I believe it is one. The moment I can relax, accept, allow and invite a solution to appear, it will either recede into the background, like the scenery of a painting, or dissolve entirely.
Is it magic? Smoke and mirrors? When a problem ceases to be a problem entirely, it can feel that way. Few “problems” disappear altogether. Instead, when our consciousness finds the grace to be okay with what is happening, that is what allows solutions to appear, circumstances to shift — as if by magic. As if only when you are willing to inhabit your Divinity, can the Divine in you step in to help.
I have a funny story around this. We were in Hawaii last week, and while my husband met with a gazillion new colleagues I was due to look at a house in 15 minutes. But when I went to get my key out of my purse I realized John had it, and he was in a meeting. I called the renter and explained my situation. It was the only time she could show us the house. I hung up and felt the edge of anxiety ebb into my consciousness: We had two days to find a place to live and things were looking grim. All of the houses we’d seen so far were, frankly, real shit-holes. This was the one and only house I’d pinned my hopes on, and now, this. What to do? I didn’t want to spin out into defeat. So I took this window of time as an opportunity to go swimming.
I jumped into the infinity pool. Between swimming laps and floating, I invited Spirit’s help. Then, floating on my back I experienced the sensation of being held. It was a small shift for such a big ask, but I registered the awareness that that I was being Divinely held, cared for. When my intuition told me to leave the pool, I reluctantly did. When I checked my phone there were messages, including one from our prospective landlord who said she would come to my hotel and pick me up to show me the house, and, Could I be ready in 10 minutes?
The house is perfect for us. In January it is ours.
How we see the world is how we will experience it, says Sagittarius. If Saturn’s transit through Sagittarius has taught us anything it’s that our perception shapes everything.
We so easily link a cause with an effect: that a person or circumstance is causing us pain, inconvenience, a bad day, or life. The missing key could’ve ruined my chance to see a nice house, for instance. What if it is the perceptual association we make — that this is a problem — that is the actual problem?
It reminds me of a story I heard recently, from our real estate agent named Spirit ;). For years, before she was famous, Spirit worked with Byron Katie, coordinating satsang. Katie was getting bigger, attracting a wider audience, and Spirit became worried about the facility size not being able to hold the numbers of participants. To which Katie replied (in her way), Sweetie, I’m just not sure that a room has a size. And, sure enough, the room somehow expanded to hold the attendees.
Chiron in Pisces is square this New Moon. Chiron’s glyph resembles a key, yet in practice Chiron is both the key and the brick wall: It is both the thing we experience as a painful obstacle we cannot get around, and the cure for it. But the “cure” is not given to us readily, or on a linear time frame- if at all. The obstacle must first teach us what we need to know before we can heal or transcend it. Not a moment before. No shortcuts and no band-aids- because that would forfeit our learning. We must earn the knowledge we are meant to learn.
Saturn is exiting Sagittarius in a mere few days, and with it the Saturn-Chiron square. We have had to become a student in these areas of our life, to become humble, patient, teachable, receptive to inviting illogical solutions that open doors in our perception. What parting gift has this pair left you?
Just as with my missing car key, I can focus on the problem — on not having the key (or in Chiron’s case, the answer). I can go into a blame spiral toward myself, or someone else, for its absence. I can go into fear, anxiety and panic about what this could mean for our future. Or I can invite and allow a solution to appear. Then ask, What would feel good to me right now?
What would’ve happened had I not had the conversation with my self, made the decision to take a nice swim, not experienced being held and cared for… and instead crumpled like a used towel defeated by the perception of a problem? Would everything have worked out? I’ll never know.
I do know what choice causes me less suffering. If “invite and allow” is a parting gift of this Chiron-Saturn square, I’ll take it.