Scorpio New Moon Eclipse: The Animal Inside

all saints in swedenIn tune with Scorpio season, darkness is descending on Stockholm. As the Sun begins to set around 3 PM, and dark by 4PM, the sky will consecutively darken and by February the Sun will only make a 2-hour appearance. It is the perfect environment for skulking through the gorgeous graveyards inhabited by glamorous dead people like Greta Garbo, and for writing crime and mystery novels. Today is All Saint’s Day (November 1) where candles are lit for ancestor’s graveyards. Endless night, combined with the fact that expressing extreme emotion (including celebrating or drawing attention to oneself) is socially discouraged, I understand why Scandinavian mystery, murder and mayhem novelists find it so easy to take darkness to a whole new level.

Into our lives, Scorpio arrives and shadows of the dark season play tricks on eyes and hearts. The person who cut us off in traffic…the unreturned call…an unwanted reality…a disagreement… becomes charged with emotional intensity that threatens to spin out into a full-scale emotional drama. Why? It’s the season for honestly facing what we do not want to face in our Self. What’s unhealed? What still hurts? Where are we holding onto old hurt? Ancient wounds are being triggered, including that bevy of Scorpionic/Pluto hurts that hold a special place in Hell: abandonment fears, jealousy, resentment, rage, violation, unforgiven-ness and when these are unleashed, hold onto your hats and hearts. No one is safe.

vintage halloweenDuring Scorpio season (or a Pluto transit), circumstances and people can trigger remembrances of our most hurt times, which awakens the wounded animal inside.  The story starts innocently enough, with something like this: the soft animal inside me is hurt. No one is helping, no one understands. I’m lost, alone, and abandoned by those I thought loved me. And the animal must be fed.

We can choose what to feed it. Pain is either perpetuated or healed, depending on our response. The animal inside is instinctual. It can believe that the only way it will get heard is if it screams, attacks, blames, harangues and makes other people wrong. Unfortunately, I’m too familiar with being on the receiving end of this pattern – which triggers the animal inside of me, who fears being re-wounded by other people’s unhealed wounds.  Over the years I’ve I’ve used many strategies, from verbally defending myself to forgiveness practices that involve sending unconditional love and understanding for the pain the other is obviously feeling -if I’m able. Sometimes I can only muster a prayer.

These painful encounters with another’s animal are always an opportunity to acknowledge and love and heal the wounded animal inside me – the one that is hurting, for different reasons, but hurting just as much as they are. I do this through going directly to the source and journaling about the original source of the wound, self-care practices, and talking lovingly to myself about how good I’m doing and reminding myself of all the empowering, positive choices and actions I’ve made and continue to take. That last step is crucial for me: it helps me to become present to myself. In a nutshell: I parent myself. 

I also recognise that it’s not my role to heal, make better or even love up another person when their animal is provoked. Fear won’t recognise love; all of your actions and words will always be made wrong by fear. I have also learned to love myself enough to honour my own need for boundaries, safety and protection. I will delete inflammatory emails, take space, and create safety for myself. Just as you wouldn’t offer your hand to a wild-eyed dog, it can be dangerous to engage when someone is in that unreliable, groundless space where things are said that cannot be unsaid, boundaries are fuzzy, and pain easily perpetuates itself.

When I take these measures, the healing acceptance I feel eventually, naturally outflows to those who around me. And if they cannot feel it, that’s okay, too. They’re not ready. Ultimately, it is each individual’s responsibility to heal his or her own wounds, to rebuild whatever it was that was broken – that’s what it means to be an adult. Saturn in Scorpio empowers the maturity, clarity, boundaries and wisdom we need to take control of our own transformative and healing processes; we need to lose the expectation that someone will care for us in the way that our parents, ex-lover, ex-partner didn’t do for us and instead do that for our self. With enough trust building, safety and love, intimate partners and therapists can help heal this, too.

It’s Scorpio season. Remembrances of violations past are arising. Grudges are within arm’s reach. It’s hard to repress dark feelings, and hard to forgive. The hurt animal awakens when we encounter people whose wounds hook neatly into our own wounds. We may cast them in the spooky role of the original perpetrator, as: The Source Of All Pain. But as adults who have paid blood and tears for our wisdom and happiness, we have a choice: we can feed the animal of our own heart more pain -or we can feed the animal inside with acceptance and love. We can stop the pattern from perpetuating, and there’s no better time to release toxic habitual emotional patterns and create a new outcome than this transformative Scorpio New Moon Eclipse.

 

Comments

  1. Wonderfully written article. As a 11 degree Cancer that has been dealing with the Pluto opposition (lots of pain, betrayal, etc.), Uranus square, and my approaching 14 degree Scorpio Saturn return in the 7th….dealing with people who have hurt me and trying to forgive, move on, heal has been a refrain for a while now. Great analogy of the animal’s pain….this article spoke right to me. Thank you Jessica.

  2. Thank you and thank you for sharing, Kim. I think there are a few of us out there. xo

  3. Jennifer Cobb says:

    Hi Jessica – I loved this post. Did you write it? THe Stockholm reference threw me off.
    I am a big fan of Pia Mellody and her tools for resolving the distorted thought systems that result in our emotional pain.
    I loved the way this article articulated many of those tools for processing, and assigned self responsibility for our own process, and reminded me not to try to ‘heal, or love up’ someone who is in their darkness.
    Thank you. I am enjoying your site and your insight.
    Jennifer

  4. Hi Jennifer, yes I wrote this article and I am currently in Stockholm. I haven’t read Pia Mellody – mostly just years of experience and therapy speaking here! Thank you for sharing. xo Jessica

  5. Thanks hugely for this post – the animal analogy is so relevant. There are so many people I see and feel are raging today. I was fine until I came home, then his beast met mine and we crossed swords, sparks flew and we drew blood. Hope I can stick to the boundary rules that this situation has called forth. A bad, beast day…so sad after yesterday’s efforts at the eclipse.

  6. Thank you so much. This is definitely an eclipse week for me. Im on the receiving end and I feel enveloped by so much darkness. There is some serious plutonic fire on me and this article is helping me understand it. Its also helping me see that while it isn’t going to go away and I cant fix/control it I can get space from it. I can heal.

    I’ve been using your 10 tips for surviving a pluto transit as well. I really do feel like dying or like i’m worthless because of what happens to me. Pluto can make you wish you were dead because of how much it takes from you. I’ve never felt more alone and afraid yet now curiously I also recognize my own power and God’s love.

    At least I know I can walk away but I don’t know where I’m going and its harder to trust that process. I have the feeling there is something wonderful right ahead of me but I can never look back at what I had. Lol I should search your site for how to survive Uranus. Thank you so much because your articles are giving me hope that there is life after this.

  7. Hi Cici, thank you for sharing your story. You are definitely not alone in this, and it seems to me you are growing in understanding and wisdom. Much love, Jessica

  8. Hi Jessica- such an evocatively written post. i love the idea of endless night- have always wanted to visit the land of snow and ice- that night world of Scandinavia. You really brought that to me with this post. I am a Leo with Scorpio rising. I am definitely feeling the Scorpio waters trudging up my past hurts that are still working on me in the present. I am also presently getting involved with someone close to me whom i realized i liked very much- on the night of the Eclipse. It has been very strange, and somehow purging, like being in torrid waters but coming out clean. Thank you for your wonderful blog. I am going to read it regularly from now on!

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