Friends, The Leo planets are upon us (now Venus, Mars; soon Sun). ‘Twas never a more ideal time to own your Brilliance, Beauty and Power!
When I was in my early twenties, I recall watching a couple who lived across the street of my apartment. They were so beautiful, and they were clearly in so much love – the authentic, grounded kind of love I wanted to have one day. Since their house and garden faced directly across my window, I’d settle in and watch on more than one occasion, watching their gardening, grocery-carrying, conversation.
I wasn’t exactly stalking them. I coveted what they had, and when they were around, shining their love so brightly, it was hard to turn away from – for that was what I so deeply wanted for myself.
Only much later, when I began doing the Love Alchemist’s Notebook work to attract my Soul’s mate into my life, I realized there was something profound for me hidden within this almost-obsession.
They were showing me my Golden Shadow — qualities that were mine, to integrate, have, and hold and own as my own, but qualities which, at that point, I was still projecting outside of myself.
What is a Golden Shadow?
It is YOU, in your most expanded, real, True, Divine, GOLDEN glory.
And because it is your Shadow, it is: the Other you are jealous of, obsess over, infatuated with, or even annoyed by. It is that influencer who, when they pop up on social media, you get a pang of “Oh, Goddess, THAT. I want that.” It is the nighttime dream of being in the shadows of someone spectacular, beautiful, wealthy, brilliant – your own particular and unique version of the VIP, your most important person ever.
Paradoxically, you are that VIP. Yes, just as in dream interpretation – it really is all about YOU!
However, as long as you stay in this relationship to yourself, believing what you want, what you are capable of, indeed, who you truly are, to be so thoroughly outside of yourself that you must give all of your golden brilliance and beauty to another person to live out for you…you will not be the co-creator you are capable of being, you will not manifest the waking dreams of your MOST fabulous Divine Self.
Your Golden Shadow is your beauty, brilliance, power, creativity, artistry, authority – you name it, it’s yours.
Yes, what you most want to experience in yourself, for yourself, IS yours… but only if you can name it and claim it.
Because I’ve recognized this figure in myself in various forms over the years, now, when I encounter my Golden Shadow, I see it for what it is.
-I can see how this projection undermines my self-trust.
-I can see how this preys upon any doubt I have about myself. When someone else has “It”- and I don’t – it is hard to feel safe, secure, clear.
-I can see how giving someone else my Brilliance and Beauty is a form of self-rejection. It is a way of saying “I can’t/I don’t have…”.
Now, I recognize when someone elicits a lustful “I WANT,” it is time to unravel what, precisely, specifically, this person or thing represents for me.
The pang of jealousy, the envy, fascination, and even annoyance, sometimes… ahhhh, She is ME. She has something (what is it?) that I think I don’t have, but I do, I just need to step into more fully. Because my identity is not rooted in my Ego but my Soul, I have practiced really sitting in this knowing: I AM. Or, I AM, I HAVE, THIS, ALREADY. If they are showing me an authentic Soul desire, I know nothing can successfully oppose it. I sincerely ask,…Will I allow myself to have it? If they are showing me an aspect of myself, I need to own it. Again: Will I allow myself to own this? This is always the million-dollar Golden Shadow question. I take the time to claim it, asking myself for the Yes, for the I AM, I HAVE.
I do the above as embodied energy work, to take all of this awareness in more deeply, so that my Ego really believes what my Soul knows to be True. I make sure that I have an embodied experience of sitting in this Truth. Then, I’m done. I’m in full agreement with my Soul. What next?
When I take the time to do these steps, the prickly annoyance and pangs stop, and that projected Golden Shadow loses all of its allure.
Honestly, it’s bit like falling out of love with someone you are endlessly annoyed with/fascinated by… because you finally realize that what you were trying to get from them was inside of you all along, waiting for your own recognition, love, integration. You no longer “need” them to be your personal projection screen for all things beautiful (or ugly), good, right, pure, authoritative- or whatever it is you think they have and you don’t.
You realize YOU are that beautiful person.
They don’t have all the (answers, talent, skills, love, beauty, fortune, intelligence)….
YOU are the exceptional healer, artist, poet, musician, rock star, actor, author, comedienne, beautiful wife, mother, lover…
And that’s when REAL LOVE, TRUE LOVE, SOULFUL LOVE can actually, finally, occur in your life.
Not only with other people, perhaps for the first time ever, but most importantly, within YOU.
How can this integration change your life so entirely? You are choosing from an entirely different place and perspective. You are choosing to be the One who lives her Dreams and Divinity; and that star-quality person doesn’t farm out ANY of her qualities to others.
((I have to reiterate, too, that a fundamental foundational Truth must also be present for this shift to occur; you must also decide to stop living from the “hungry ghost” of your Ego- the identity of lack – and start living from your Divine Identity – an identity of abundance.))
When you come home to yourself, you no longer need someone to Facebook “stalk” LOL; someone to admire, pine after, follow or copy.
Because you realize that exceptional healer, lover, artist, poet, partner…is and has been YOU, all along.
It’s amazing how working with your Golden Shadow can transform you. (So, gentle reminder: Never dismiss “negative feelings” you have towards others– including envy, obsession, jealousy and annoyance. These difficult feelings can be your alchemical salvation – and they often are.)
With all Shadow work, the truism is: “If you can see it, it’s yours.” This is true for the Golden Shadow, too!