Today, while teaching my Intuitive Energy class, I relayed this slice of life about what has been going on for me these past three weeks (Mercury’s RX cycle). Afterwards, a cohort said it was a great story illuminating how Intuition works.
So, I thought I’d share the story -with you!
The story begins… several years ago. I was on a call with a hotel chain we patronize and afterwards I was asked if I would be willing to take a survey for 1000 points for a vacation property pitch stay (John loves points, so, an easy yes). Listening, the unexpected happened: I found myself saying YES. When I checked in with my body, I made sure I was Grounded-Rooted-Centered, because this is how I KNOW my YES is for real. YES, YES, YES. I felt that lovely sensation I always feel in my energy body in the presence of something *just right, for right now*.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when Mercury turned retrograde, and we went to redeem that stay. A few nights prior to our trip, I had awakened out of a peaceful sleep with an uncomfortable premonition “I’m will not enjoy this trip.” Huh? I was very distressed about this information, but didn’t know what, how or why. It turned out to be true; from the moment we left our house, we had flight delays, rental car mix-ups that led to strange interactions with a conspiracy theorist Lyft driver, and so on. When we arrived at the hotel, I could’ve been at Epcot center; it was so ginormous it had a monorail! Anytime we wanted to leave, we had to walk 20 mins. in killer heat from the parking lot to our room.
I could go on.
The trip kept sending me constant irritations; weird people interactions, wrong meals served at restaurants, closed restaurants, lots of walking to and from cars… and just not being the type of accommodation I ever wanted to be in.
For me, inner listening (Intuitive Knowing) is a form of self-care, self-honoring -and- self-protection; this is why decision-making is so vital for me. In the past, when I’ve made decisions that aren’t in alignment with my Soul it has essentially been the equivalent of transgressing my own personal boundaries, and there have often been grave consequences. Some of those consequences have played out in verrrrryyy difficult ways for me.
So, historically, a YES has led to resonant, generally flowing and pleasant, experiences. This time it did not! Which greatly concerned me — because, based on past happenings, I didn’t want to get sick, pick up dis-resonant, icky, energies (this typically happens when I violate my own inner boundary), or suffer any other grave misfortune.
Naturally, so many discomforts caused me to existentially question my whole intuitive framework, and my Intuitive Knowing. Had I fallen under the spell of the sales person? Had I misinterpreted my full body YES? Maybe I had been picking up on something else? Doubt is tricky. With Intuition, there is simply no room for doubt and hesitation. I call it one of the four apocalypse horsemen of Intuition (along with Shame, Guilt and Judgment). Because one small doubt can quickly turn everything to inky black … and gradually, or quite suddenly, self-trust disappears entirely.
To my point, in the middle of one night I think I actually “made up” a physical person standing outside the hotel room, banging on the door! When I jumped up and looked through the peephole, I saw the shape of a man standing there. Looking to the bed, I realized John was not in the room, so called him on the phone. He had been working down in the lobby. When I looked again, the person was gone. Had I just hallucinated the whole thing? The knocking could have been the ice maker. The person? I think my mind actually invented a person, to “explain” the odd knocking.
This arrives us at the sales pitch. By now, I was not in a “good space” -LOL. When one of the sales people started applying pressure, I did something I’ve truly never done in public: I called him out and told him to back off (to the point that he actually gathered his things and started to leave)! Yet, thirty minutes later after re-centering myself (whilst talking to a different fellow), John turned to me and asked whether this would be a good fit for us, and I got a YES. Yes, while traveling I’ve been needing a reliable home base with comforts (kitchen, good bed) to count on. Yes, we needed a place for the kids to stay, because as of this year there are too many of them to fit in our house.
I got a full body: YES. Oh. It suddenly became clear: My Intuition HAD led me in the right direction. Three years ago, tuning into my Awareness beyond time + space, my Soul KNEW that I would WANT this to happen.
Since then, I had a similar scenario play out that has highlighted similar learnings around self-trust; another historical YES, YES, YES …followed up by inconvenience, discomfort, complications, and outright confusion. I’m self-publishing a second printing in China and I’ve run into potentially expensive complications with shipping (ever heard of China Trade Wars? I hadn’t.). Last week, I suddenly found myself learning I would need to hire a customs broker and freight forwarder (huh?), and be paying many different taxes and tariffs to get these decks to me in Honolulu.
It has ALL been enough to give a girl major anxiety. But you know what? This time, I did NOT doubt or question my YES. I certainly checked in with my YES (YES, working on my Intuitive Energy Decks with China was and is still a strong YES). But I was feeling sleepless anxiety. So I did a late night card draw and pulled the Resistance card. I had to laugh when I read the first line “your lack of enthusiasm is felt…so feel it.” I had been actively RESISTING all of this; I didn’t want it to be happening. As the card reminded, my resistance to having to deal with all of this (the fees, agents, and seemingly endless complications) -and NOT the thing itself- was causing me anxiety and stress.
Once I truly dropped in and felt my resistance, total peace washed over me, and the feeling: ALL IS WELL.
What is this teaching me about listening to my Intuitive Knowing? I think for many of us, when challenges appear, we can fall into this idea that we’ve made a Wrong turn with our Intuition. When it gets uncomfortable, inconvenient, expensive and confusing, it is easy to begin self-doubt and questioning.
I have been learning so much about Trust with a capital “T”. I’ve recognized that following my Intuition doesn’t mean the journey will be easy or comfortable; but lack of ease or comfort does not mean it’s a NO.
If our Soul wants to help us get from points A to Z in the most effortless and graceful ways possible, sometimes discomforts and inconveniences we experience ARE the easiest ways available- at this moment. Spirit/our Soul has to navigate multiple factors, too, in order to give us the experiences we want most.
Including planetary factors, China Trade Wars, and a blazing hot resort the size of a Disneyland village!
All of this has certainly helped me to upgrade my own perception and understanding. I realized I’ve been really quite excellent at tuning in, listening inward and utilizing my Inner Knowing. I also really get this now: A YES remains a YES until it’s a NO. And that is something we can always check-in with…if we know how to do that.
I’ve set up some pretty fantastic experiences for myself, lately; I credit this to years of honing my skills with: inner listening, my card deck and energy work. Even if the journey to claim them has been tricky, I am definitely on a journey with my Intuitive Knowing, and it is magical. In this part of the journey: I am navigating the YES.