I had been hungry all the years;
my noon had come, to dine;
I, trembling, drew the table near, and touched the curious wine.
‘T was this on tables I had seen,
when turning, hungry, lone,
I looked in windows,for the wealth
I could not hope to own.
I did not know the ample bread,
‘T was so unlike the crumb
The birds and I had often shared
In Nature’s dining-room.
The plenty hurt me, ’twas so new, —
Myself felt ill and odd,
As berry of a mountain bush
Transplanted to the road.
Nor was I hungry; so I found
That hunger was a way
Of persons outside windows,
The entering takes away.

­‘Hunger’, Emily Dickinson

Full Moon Cancer, Sunday, December 26, 2004 7:06 AM PST

Passing the longest night of the year in the blink of an eye, here we are with the days now slowly increasing in light, so slow that we don’t notice the change. Time slows down, all but stopping. Time moves in cycles, we feel this now, remembering when the summer days were long and when there was hope in our hearts. Where has it gone? Will there be light again? For some of us, this time of year offers space for reflection. The darkness brings comfort and room for renewal, we let it cloak our days like a big woolen cape, dropping our hoods gratefully for the brief moments of sunshine.

Sun in Capricorn is Father Time, chronos and kairos time. Chronos time is the clock time we’ve created to structure our days; this time was a manmade creation–like the railroad transportation system which created the time zones allowing us to organize our time on earth. Kairos time is our circadian rhythm, not just a physiological clock but an organic, moving continuum. Our mind knows chronos time, but our body/mind knows kairos time. This inner knowing tells us what stage of the continuum we’re in right now. Are we beginning, synthesizing, gathering, sustaining, harvesting, ending, dissolving? Sun in Capricorn looks through these evaluatory dark glasses, only picking up the light and dark, the essential view. We arrive at the end of the tunnel of winter with a clearer understanding of where we’ve come from, who we are now and where we’re going.

Like old Ebenezer Scrooge, uncompromising Capricorn energy will overlook nuance and rosy sunsets for outcome, product, the bottom line. This may be a necessary point of view; we need the stark landscape to re-inspire our new-year dreams. We need to face down our demons of the past and hopes for the future in the dead of night. Melancholy, sadness and reflection on days of yore lend themselves nicely to this process. Everything seems to have an air of finality about it; our dreams may feel terribly earthbound with restrictions and limitations. Know it’s natural to feel this way right now.

Christmas materialism has just scratched at our door like a hungry cat. The mewing would have you think this cat hasn’t eaten in years. The mewing cat is calling out the contrast of what we’ve yet to achieve against all we have. This hard reality can be disheartening; but Capricorn teaches that the exact place our heart hardens, there exists the fatal flaw of our hopes and dreams. Is there a hard place in your heart, the place where that bitter pill you keep swallowing becomes jagged edged, wounding the soft, beating flesh? Your heart is listening to that story.

The challenge of Capricorn is to keep tender, to keep climbing the mountain, long view in sight while honestly assessing what is and is not working.

Full moon in Cancer is a call to balance, to not neglect the heart for the ‘reality bites’ soundtrack. What nurtures and sustains the heart on this long journey through the dead of winter? It is nourishing to have a good home, supportive and nurturing relationship, family, rooted ness, tradition. It is nourishing to have your basic emotional and physical needs met.

The heart needs the practicality of Capricorn, the realism of Capricorn needs the hearth-flame, a rooted ness of heart. This is the inner knowing that we all truly live- in the deepest sense of the word, in the heart. No matter what we build in the world, the heart is the home, the place where we know how to allow our self to fearlessly release into the spring, summer, autumn, fall of life. A well-nourished heart is life-support at all the right moments. An injured heart falters and we end up hungry. When we ‘keep the home fires burning’ we give ourselves and others a sense of place, belonging and interconnection.

This full moon, appreciate the importance of your heart needs. The fulfillment of these basic needs animates life. It’s the difference between having a house or making a home in the world.

12/26 Full Moon day Saturn still opposes Chiron, exact. All year we’ve had the opportunity to heal relationship wounds and end those not working. Separation and reconciliation are themes. If this sounds familiar, by now you will know on which side of the fence you stand. If your story grew a shell around your heart, it may be thin and fragile as an eggshell but strong enough to keep both the bogeyman and the dream away. Put the wind back under your sails with a trio of optimism; Mercury, Venus and Mars in Sagittarius give us all the energy to push on. Like buoys in the sea of life, we are tossed about but always stay above water.

Our mental outlook is upbeat and facing-future and sextiling Neptune, idealistic and seduced into sugar plum fantasies. Mercury travels close to Venus, the people we have around us mirror our own inner attitude right now—they are encouraging and enthusiastic, warming our hearts despite the winter chill. Mars has just entered Sagittarius, leaving powerhouse Scorpio where our energy had a lot of focused staying power and we were up to the task. For the next 6 weeks in Sag, physical energy is easily dispersed among many things, with the potential for overextension. If you have the tendency, take care not to over commit.

12/27 Moon in Cancer, Venus sextile Neptune and we’re lost in a daydream of pleasure. Sit by the fire and meditate on all the Christmas gifts you’ve accumulated. 12/28 Mercury and Venus join exactly on a Moon in Leo day.

Friends are gabby and dramatic; we talk about travel, journeying and making future plans. The planet of information gathering joins the planet of what makes-me-happy in the sign of hopes and visions makes this an ideal day for gathering your resolutions ‘round.

12/29-12/30 It’s all in the game of love. Venus and Jupiter make beautiful music together in a mutual reception. Venus loves Jupiter and Jupiter loves Venus to be sure. Relationships experience a cosmic bear hug and we’re in love again. In the pinball game of love/life, you have just been given 50,000 extra points to spend as you please. This gamey Venus is ready to take a chance, and Jupiter is happy to oblige. How will you spend your windfall? Do not miss out on this aspect! Perform some planetary magic by putting yourself in a position where the ‘pleasure odds’ are in your favor.

With Jupiter, is there a place you want to go, a dream you want to live out, right now? Jupiter is the planet of travel, teachers and higher learning: long voyages of the mind and body are favored. Spiritual pilgrimages & journeys with heart invigorate and inspire. Mercury sextiles Jupiter making 12/30 It’s a good day for travel and big picture thinking– like marketing.

One major cautionary note for this day and it’s a biggie. Mars squares Uranus, always a volatile and dangerous pair. Mars newly in Sag may be overeager and careless—this is a problem for Mars because among others he rules cars, sharp instruments, firearms. Uranus always means sudden changes of events and disruption. Unfortunately, the potential for violence and destruction is energetically supported. If you’re traveling by car this day, you cannot be too careful. This aspect is exact in the late evening (PST); try to get where you’re going by then.

Clear skies for 12/31 New Year’s Eve. Sober moon in Virgo and festivities may be atypically restrained, making a quiet eve more attractive. Moon trine Sun in earth signs make us more concerned about comfort and physical pleasure than the get-up and go. Virgo moon doesn’t like excess or overindulgence so beware of too much drink; the body will feel the consequences. Virgo energy continues through 1/01. Inward and reflective, we stand at the threshold of another year, seeing both potential and potential faults. In the evening, Moon sextiles Saturn and we find the commitment to do what it takes.

1/02-1/03 last quarter square, Moon in Libra. Venus and Pluto conjunct, Sun inconjunct Neptune. A now pensive Venus has the potential for bringing up relationship issues. If a new perspective or change in mind comes up, don’t be surprised—it’s been in the works. Heavy handed, yes, but brutally honest. Sun inconjuncts Neptune asking for dissolution of a stubborn stance, perfectly timed for this Venus who demands sacrifice.

1/04 Moon in Scorpio, Mercury on Pluto and it’s more of the same. Thanks to retrograde Mercury, this first took place 11/19, 12/07 and now finally 1/04. This is the mind-purge. Obsessions, grudges, resentments—all the ugly and destructive thoughts you hold onto hold you back. Who’s in control here?

The mental attitude is dark and tenacious. This final pass means it’s finally time to let go. Things won’t move forward without dropping the baggage. Look to the last New Moon’s newsletter for guidance. Still in effect, 1/05 be sensitive to others as Venus is quincunxed by Saturn. Relationships require compromise, feel the consequences for better or worse.

1/06 Moon finally moves into Sagittarius in the evening, moods lighten up a little and we can begin to unwind. 1/07 Sun in Capricorn square Jupiter in Libra. This may be the pressure release we’ve been searching for, but we may want more than we can actually handle or afford. An authority figure or the reality police have the potential to spoil your fun. Appease the planetary gods by asking for a side of ‘a little bit less’ with your order of ‘more’.

1/09 Venus and Mercury move into Capricorn, Moon in Capricorn. Venus in Capricorn is the ultimate millionaire’s wife- she looks for status and security in relationship, and so do we during the tour de Capricorn till 2/02. Traditionally, Venus is not so happy in Capricorn. On her own, Venus is sociable, sharing and flirtatious. In Capricorn she doesn’t socialize, she networks; when she shares she is making a mental tally of give and take; she doesn’t flirt, she is sizing you up for marriage material. Are you stable, successful, financially established? We may find ourselves and others concerned with social acceptance, status and prestige. Yes, if we can hold it in our hand and in front of others, it has weight and worth.

Mercury is right there beside her, so we have agreement between the head and our desires. If only there was a Howard Hughes for every girl.