Todayâ€™s astrology is not lightweight. More like benchpressing. I awakened this morning from a shadowboxing dream. I was being stalked by a predator, and although this was never a physical reality for me, through the screen of my own natal Mars/Pluto square I recognized him as a symbolic piece of my self. In an earlier dream sequence, I raised my hand to strike someone I loved. I was the perpetrator of violence, which shocked the â€œMeâ€ in the dream. Oh, and this was followed up by a scathing email from an angry client and news of a death in my extended family – all before noon. Wow, this red guy really packs a punch!
Hereâ€™s the gift of astrology: it allows me to objectively evaluate my own and otherâ€™s aggression (and fear of aggression) without self-judgment. Everyone has a Mars figure in their chart â€“ the aggressor and empowering figure. People have different relationships to the â€œI AMâ€ planet of personal empowerment, righteous anger, passive aggressiveness and unfathomable violence – as evidenced by their relationship to Mars. Mars can be forthright; he can be suspicious and sneaky. But one thingâ€™s for sure, our relationship to our own anger affects how we get what we want (or donâ€™t want) from the world.
Right now, Mars in Taurus is squaring Saturn in Leo â€“AND- being quincunxâ€™d by Pluto. Mars in Taurus is slow to anger but when he getâ€™s going, he stubbornly persists down the same path, you know – the one thatâ€™s not working. Immovable Saturn is blocking the expression of anger, making it hard to let it out. When Pluto comes along and quincunxâ€™s the stalemate, the shadow emerges. Thereâ€™s the juice. When we can see our shadow, we can take responsibility for our â€œfighting styleâ€. Whatâ€™s the shadow of anger? Victimization. Personal abnegation of your own aggression. Not taking responsibility for what you want. Any others?
This timely article on Yahoo Health today (do the media have personal astrologers or what?), â€œWhatâ€™s Your Manâ€™s Fighting Style?â€ by David Zinczenko is a fun read and a worthy exploration for Martian Stargazers. You may even want to check out his book, Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User’s Guide for Women
Personality Type: Competitive. Mars in Aries, Mars in Scorpio
“…About 20 percent of men in this survey admit that they say they fight like lawyers – trying to demolish a woman’s arguments with logical, rational reasoning to catch her in a lie or make her confess. This tactic may mean that the guy wins the logical side of the disagreement, but his battering-ram style won’t win him any emotional points in the long run.”
The Surfer, Personality Type: Lllllaaaaaaaid Back. Mars in Pisces
“…Goes with the flow, dude. This kind of guy lets life roll off his back – he understands the woman’s point of view, and he tries to make her happy, even at his own expense. Works well in many cases, but not all the time – especially for the woman who subconsciously may want a fight, just to make sure he’s as emotionally invested in the relationship as she is.”
The Old-School Patriarch Mars in Taurus
Personality Type: Stuffy
“…Silent treatment. No words, no confession, no way you’re going to trip him up into seeing it your way, because he’s not saying a word. The passive-aggressive move – the most frustrating of all fighting tactics – only works to infuriate, which is exactly why he does it. The short-term satisfaction of making her madder usually doesn’t pay long-term dividends.”
The Salesman Mars in Leo, Mars in Sag
Personality Type: Smooth
“…About a quarter of men admitted in the survey that they will say “I love you” to get themselves out of arguments. It’s a good, charming move -one that can work, and one that he most likely uses when he knows he’s wrong. He uses adoration to substitute for confession.”
The Poet Mars in Libra
Personality Type: Stubborn and Soft
“…He does something wrong, he knows it, he tries to explain why he did it, she doesn’t buy it, he backs off. Now, he reverts to his preferred method of communication: email. The carefully crafted message – complete with confession, explanation, compliments, and a dash of humor – allows him a chance to speak without conflict. It’s safe, though a smidge cowardly. But he uses it to control his feelings and the message – and to end the argument as soon as possible.”