Last October, I decided to publicly acknowledge an internal shift. The decision to do so was due to an awakening that began in 2016, which has totally shifted my perception of the world and my place in it.
Since then, so much has changed for me. Almost every relationship. The way I live. Where I live. The way I create… As my productive output has slowed to focus on inner work, one distinction I’ve had to make for myself is this: Creating is not the same as producing. Creativity isn’t necessarily productive. It’s staring at the ceiling, reading a book, exploring an idea, being with yourself. Creativity is allowing yourself to go deep into a process, and being totally unsure where you will end up. Will you have something to show for it? Not sure. True creativity is about giving yourself permission, time, space to simply go there.
Things change quickly nowadays. Tools come… and when they stop working… tools go. Maybe they’ll come back again. Flexibility is so helpful.
What feels right for this moment? Now, that’s a creative question. Maybe what is right is folding laundry, or meditating. There is no trying, in this new way of being – just being and seeing what evolves from there (for me, trying to do anything, that is, leading with my head/Ego-mind, or survival fears, or old conditioning, instead of my inner knowing, earns me a big fat raspberry, telling me I’m on the wrong track).
It is a process… this creative process of becoming.
One with seemingly no beginning or end.
Kind of like the number zero.
This Leo Full Moon Eclipse falls at zero degrees of Leo-Aquarius.
This isn’t your typical “celebrate, play, love, praise, show up, create” Leo Moon -though please do all of that! Zero is the alpha and omega of numbers. With their capacity for beginnings and endings, eclipses bring a feeling of a larger cycle moving through, whilst the zero offers a sense of the numinous and mysterious, the dawning of conscious awareness from a vaster space. There’s a sense of not being defined, not yet, even as new cycles in our lives begin and old ones draw to a close.
Avia Venfica, a favorite internet source for all kinds of symbolism, says, “…the spiritual meaning of zero deals with pure potentiality. It is the point from which all other numbers spring forth. Even visually – the number zero is symbolic of the seed, womb or egg from which pure potential emerges… Focus upon the zero is encouraged when we wish to be present in the moment, when we are trying to regroup our level of awareness.”
This eclipse set falls in my tenth (contribution to community) and fourth (inner self) houses. A couple of weeks back, I had the nudge to ask a few clients for their written experiences of my recent work with them. This started a process. Their shared experience of my services reflected back aspects of my offerings, which allowed me to “regroup my awareness” around how I language what I do. Much of the time I feel like “pure potentiality” but this process allowed me to spell out what I consistently do for others.
This also helped me address confusion. Some clients have asked whether I do astrology. I still include astrology in my sessions, but I now offer much more. One return client expressed fear about booking, saying she didn’t know what to expect from a session now. She made it out alive! (Please feel free to check out my revised services page, as well as my wall of PRAISE)
We are all undergoing shifts, aren’t we? Thanks for hanging in there with me!
Where do zero degrees of Leo/Aquarius fall in your chart? Play with the symbolism of zero, and your ideas about Leo/Aquarius, in this area of your life (click here for an explanation of eclipses through the houses). Look around and you’ll notice change brewing. Is it time to regroup here?
Here are some more ways to explore Leo-Aquarius at this Full Moon Eclipse:
Where can you show up more fully, in your Light, as yourself? When I asked for testimonials, I had the idea to show my clients more fully. I love my clients. They are beautiful, talented, many are healers in their own right. Right after that thought, I synchronously received a picture with a testimonial. I asked two more for theirs. This led to my new “wall of praise,” which is giving me warm fuzzies to read. Check it out! (If you’ve had a session with me and would like to be included in the fun, too, please do- email me).
Sticky habit of making yourself invisible? By not speaking up? By not putting your picture up and branding your service? Not claiming your ideas? This is an especially potent time for chipping away at any old patterns of invisibility by doing a similar act (like putting your mug out there).
Are you connecting with your right audience? If you don’t feel you are connecting with your audience (Leo) might you slightly tweak how you are presenting or your message in order to call in your right people? If this eclipse falls in the 3rd/9th look at communication; in the 1st/7th look to your appearance. Questions of style and marketing are not superficial for Leo, but a way to effectively connect.
“Can you please be a little more arrogant?” This is what my teacher asked me recently. She’s said it before, and I get it. Unless you are Donald Trump, who wouldn’t be my audience, anyhow, I am positive that you, like me, could stand to take more credit for your achievements, successes, talent, YOU-ness.
Lastly, becoming… takes time. Give yourself permission to create, and to not produce. When you’re birthing a new way of being, it’s far more important to focus on releasing yourself from arbitrary timelines, conditioning and expectations you hold –those fixed ideas about who you should be can be dangerous to the fragile little bud. And don’t be afraid to ask for praise/feedback and support. The individual parts and pieces that different people see in us (Aquarius) can help us see the beautiful artist that we are (Leo)!