Last week, following a routine visit to the vet, my terrier Magnus became suddenly paralyzed from the mid-section down. Not knowing whether my dog would walk again, or what had happened, was confusing and terrifying. After discovering he had a deteriorating spine and 2 herniated discs, he had emergency surgery and spent the next 4 days in the hospital. He came home yesterday, and while he still cannot walk or do routine things like pee and poo on his own, he is showing some positive signs of mobility.
When one of the compassionate vets said, that as a dog owner herself what was happening to us was her worst nightmare, I agreed. This is in the top 5 of my worst nightmares list. I knew this Full Moon would be difficult for me, as this lunation at 0 degrees Libra-Aries occurs exactly on my twelfth house Pluto in Libra and sixth house Mars in Aries, while squaring my Cancer Sun. I also tracked March as the time I would experience the early stages of transiting Pluto opposing my Venus in Cancer (23 degrees).
I thought there was a high likelihood for an emergency, given the Aries/Mars/Pluto energy.
Yet there’s always a gift. In true Pluto form, this has also stripped things down to essence.
Always, at times like this, I receive big teachings on Love. I received this: Love is the doorway to Everything. Fear is a gateway or hall to that doorway, layers of feelings through which we must pass to get closer to Love. We cannot rush or take shortcuts. We need the human experience of being in this body, of feeling and accepting everything that we feel, to find the Divinity waiting for us -always right here- just obscured by distractions, illusions. The door is always open. Of course, the Love teacher is me. I am teaching Love and I am also the student, learning, learning. The classes are experiences like this one.
Riding back from a hospital visit, my heart felt broken wide open. Magnus always reminds me to be present to the Love that is, because it is always looking back at me through those big soulful eyes.
I yearned to feel held, both human and Divine. What has been preventing me from feeling Love, lately? I had a moment of startling clarity: I need to be even more honest and truthful in my life. To not hold back anything from myself, or others, as it only keeps me from experiencing the Love that is always right here.
I realized I had been hiding behind some feelings of hurt with another human, and I decided to stop all that. Instead of tucking the hurt feelings away, and letting the story I had been telling myself to continue, I decided to communicate the simple fact that I was hurt. The fact is, unless they’re sadistic, no one wants to hurt another person, ever. If given the opportunity to correct a false perception that is hurting you… most people really want that chance. I know this. So why was I nursing this idea of another hurting me?
I decided I didn’t want to hide out in illusions any longer, they only create separation.
I want to feel the Love that is always right here.
Everything that keeps us from that is a story, a misunderstanding.
Full Moon in Libra: You Are Not Alone
Chiron, newly in Aries, conjoins the Sun and opposes the Libra Moon. You might say we are being formally, cordially (it’s Libra, right?) introduced to the new Chiron in Aries energy right now.
Many positive things can be said about the transit of Chiron in Aries (till 2026) – healing into deeper levels of self-empowerment, for instance – but first it will show us what blocks us from the same. Like, our existential feelings of loneliness. Do you feel alone? Isn’t that a persistent feeling right now in the collective? We feel ALONE. This is the Chiron in Aries wound: feeling we are utterly alone in this world.
We nurse that wound with our thoughts and stories about being alone… that another doesn’t care, that we really are all alone in the world… and that perception f***s with us, coloring our thoughts and actions. We distance our self from self and others, out of self-protection and fear. We hold our self back from receiving the Love that is here.
For many, thinking we are alone is a persistent habit of thinking. This is both real, and an illusion. We learned, early on, that we are alone. As children, those of us born with Chiron in Aries spent a lot of time alone (Chiron was in Aries approx. from 1968-1976/77, check your own chart due to retrogrades). My generation were known as “latchkey kids” – kids who went home to an empty house after school (interestingly, Chiron is the key symbol). Guidance was lacking. When heavy stuff went down, we discovered we had to fall back on our self. Where were the adults? This is how loneliness becomes a persistent thought habit, beginning in our early conditioning… and we keep thinking it into adulthood.
How many times a day/week/month do you return to the thought “I’m all alone…”?
We might be surrounded by people and feel alone.
We might be in an intimate relationship and feel alone.
We might actually be on our own.
Consider the idea that “I’m alone” is a habit you’ve learned, not an actual fact of your existence.
Love is right here. It is in the flowers, birds and trees. It is in the warm smile of a stranger. It is never tied to any person or condition you experience…yet most of us have habits keeping us from feeling this truth.
Where do you isolate yourself from others’ love — out of fear, self-protection, hurt, or habit?
It’s human to want to feel ooey-gooey romantic love. To want to be wrapped in a blanket of love. It’s also human to feel hurt, scared, denied love. This is the Full Moon to feel all of it, and take off more of your hurt warrior armor. Feel, grieve, honestly meet your humanity: this is the vulnerability of being alive. Your honest feelings will allow you to receive this knowing: You are not alone. We cannot ever be separated from our Divine Nature – which is Love – just distracted from it. This next practice can help you feel into Love.
Libra Full Moon Practice: Centering with the Rose
When we feel scared, anxious and alone our energy tends to thrust forward, and sometimes even go outside of our body. Feel into your center right now, the area around your heart. Is your energy a bit forward, outside of your chest, or is it inside of you, relaxed into your spine (that’s where we want it)?
To bring yourself back to your center, take a few quiet moments to get still. Imagine a rose covering your heart. Take your time getting to know the rose of your heart. You want to get intimate with it.
…What color is the rose? Pink? Violet? Peach? Red? White? Is it an American beauty? A fragrant tea rose? What does it smell like? Are the petals open or closed? Is it dewy?
As you explore the visual and aromatic aspects, feel the rose sitting in the middle of your center. To me, when I am fully in my center, this feels how I’d imagine a fishing bob or ball relaxed-ly floating in water. Centeredness is a buoyant, light sensation, an awareness of fully inhabiting the center of your being.
You may not get there right away. Personally, with so much cardinal energy in my chart, I tend to get ahead of myself, and this manifests as my energy being sort of in front of my heart instead of inside my chest. It may take time. Breathe with it awhile. Watch its stem wind its way down through your solar plexus, legs, feet and into the Earth. Allow its beauty and peace to calm you, drop you deeper within.
Thoughts, energies, may arise. Just watch. Remain focused on the rose that is your heart.
Soon, with a little practice, you will feel the sensation of dropping in. Then, connecting to your innate peacefulness. This is LOVE. No more separation. Only connection. No more fear. Only love.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this practice in the Whole Foods parking lot, in the vet, anywhere I have a little space and time to honor my need to ground and center. Again, it’s been important for me to take my time with it…more time than I think I have (that Aries Moon)! Do what feels right for you.
The cardinal energy of Aries season can be really stressful for some of us; it’s easy to get caught up in the demands, speed, stress and emergencies of Aries- ruled by Mars, God of war, strife and emergencies. I experience mid-March thru mid-April as consistently difficult.
For this reason, this is a beautiful energy practice for the season. The Rose is a Libra/Venus symbol that people have used for years, to restore balance, peace, harmony, calm and love. Drink rose kombucha, eat rose cookies, rose tincture, buy yourself some roses… There’s no better time to receive some LOVE.