How’s Life in Your Fourth House?

by | May 1, 2020 | Astrology In Daily Life, The Fourth House | 8 comments

We’ve had a crash course in the fourth house this Spring, a class none knew we were signing up for, at least not consciously (though intuitively, many did. Look at the way, just the week before, you: knew to adopt a dog, get on auto-subscribe for toilet paper, take a last-minute trip, or write that poetic essay about the lost art of spiritual retreat).

On a family Zoom call, I asked my stepdaughters how they were getting along with their fourth house(s). I’d taught them the basics of astrology when they were teens.  The fourth house Sun was baking, reading – what she always does –and predictably unruffled by it all. The fourth house Moon was feeling grumpy about the lack of social interaction she’s come to rely upon for happiness. The empty fourth house (Libra cusp) waited for the others to answer, first :). I suggested this period of time was a good one for observing how well one’s fourth house is functioning/doing. A sort of litmus test for rest, if you will.

No matter what is or is not in your fourth house, to know how your fourth house is doing simply ask, Have I enjoyed being at home? During this prolonged time spent inside, do I feel at home in myself? Or has this period made me feel anxious, twitchy?

If you are twitchy, have you become aware of its source?

Often that twitch is a conditioned pressure to “do” (instead of be). I suggest reading this powerful article by Tara Mohr called Resistance to Rest. We are so conditioned by culture to be productive, busy, that it can be terrifying to simply exist and rest in these quieter times. The messages we receive about slowing down can cause us to feel we will become irrelevant or extinct if we do, making it hard to value quiet.

But the hidden gifts of resting, pausing, especially the taking of time to reconnect to your deeper values and truths, are essential to fulfillment. As Tara points out: “Perhaps the extent to which our culture aims to keep women from resting is an indicator of how potent our rest would be, how core and tied to our empowerment.” WOW.

Take that in a moment. That deserves a deeper breath, and pause.

Certainly, we all know how important rest is for healing from an illness. What if more rest, inwardness and opportunity for deepening is the cure for the greater dis-ease we’re experiencing, socially?

Honestly, as things start to hint at reopening, here, I am already starting to miss stay at home.

As a sensitive, it’s about energy & wellness. No crowds at the stores, beaches and highways means that I feel better. Less energy generally circulating in the external world makes life a softer experience.  I feel better when cooking my own food, so the fact that my partner often wants to go out to eat and we no longer can has been very nice.

I’ve also liked the fact that my partner hasn’t been able to travel. No travel means for him that I haven’t been subject to getting sick – not just by corona, but by the typical colds and flu I get when he comes back from the mainland. For him, no travel has meant he’s been less exhausted, and gets to enjoy the island living, more. No visitors at our house has meant I feel better, too. Last Thanksgiving, every single family member who traveled here got sick… and so did I. We’ve been talking about all of this, and this time period is really driving points “home”, so to speak.

As my larger journey into inward connection has deepened my sense of satisfaction and contentment, I’ve often had the thought that the collective attention field is literally traveling too far outside and far away from our selves. Those who have a hard time with stay at home often have difficulty simply being with their self, inward. Being inward, sitting with discomfort, boredom, feeling the full spectrum of feelings that come up, allowing them to arise and then deepen into presence, requires external quieting. A quiet those who prefer distraction are not comfortable with.

Distraction is a deeper pandemic; it social distances us from our deeper connection to our self, our Source, our Divinity, which is the only real and lasting feeling of connection that any of us will ever have. We’ve needed to quiet and slow (way) down to discover where we’ve been living under false conditioning, to live by what we deeply value. By the way, this is the thesis, essentially, of my book Follow the Moonlit Path, a wonderful resource for right NOW.

Staying at home, staying inside, has been more difficult for some than others. I believe this has to do with conditioning, by degree – learned experiences, mental habits- yet to be released. It can get really uncomfortable when there’s no place to hide from the old conditioning your Soul is ready to let go of.

Perhaps this time has shown us there is a different way of being, which can be scary. Tara talks about the inner taskmaster, a conditioning of patriarchy, pushing us to make choices in which we consistently betray our self. She says, “Giving less power to the inner taskmaster is no small thing – that taskmaster runs as deep as patriarchy itself, and as deep as the most foundational messages we’ve received about our bodies, our hungers, our selves.”

So: how’s life in your fourth house?

Are there certain aspects of stay at home that are rather nice – and, getting “back to normal” won’t feel as good? That you perhaps don’t want to change? Or you’d like to do differently, now that you have taken a breather? Maybe it’s nice to not be so consumer driven, for instance, as many have gone down to spending on bare necessities. Perhaps restriction itself – not being able to run all over the place- has been energetically recentering for you. Maybe you’ve enjoyed little things that are now made available to you -the pleasure of cooking a meal, connecting at home, being in the garden, more time to rest- with a deeper satisfaction than you can recall previously. While there are some things you cannot control, like eventually going back to work, you don’t have to go back to others.

You can become consciously aware of the learnings this time period has offered- old conditioning you are ready to drop, and the expanded possibilities for your self which you really would like to keep. 

I suggest becoming aware of these aspects. This temporary period will be over very soon, but your relationship to yourself is lifelong. Your relationship to your innermost self has certainly become clearer for you over this time period. The self-knowledge arising from this fourth house time period can only benefit you, and all of us.



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  1. Kaye Frey

    I have so enjoyed my time at home. It’s giving me permission without guilt to enjoy a slower pace and all the unnecessary comings and going‘s, eating out, socializing when I didn’t want to, etc. it’s been wonderful especially reading your new book on Follow The Moonlit Path; I just loved it – I didn’t want it to end. Your words are a delight to read. 🙂 Thank you Jessica

  2. Kaye

    I wrote the previous comment and realized after I sent it that I had forgotten to edit the auto spelling, I hate it when that happens! So please excuse the incorrect grammar. 🙂

  3. Jessica

    Love your comments, Kaye – and thank you for reading the book!
    It is interesting to discover how this is giving us opportunity to let go of things we never enjoyed. xx

  4. mamta

    After an initial adjustment period, I have enjoyed this time. I have Venus and North node in 4th House. I already worked from home, seeing clients. I havent been seeing any client at this time, in person, but online. So its been a busy time but with more time to connect with nature, and rest.
    Thank you for helping see this time through the lens of the 4th House. Very insightful.

  5. Blaine Bolton

    I totally agree with Kaye. I have loved the permission to be quiet and not be on the go all the time. I so want to keep to this sense of staying true to me. Doing it my way! I have your book and have/am really enjoying it. You speak to the hermit in me or to my authentic self. Thank you!

  6. Dee Johnn

    I’m arriving at this page just in the nick of time. Just when I was ready to torch my 4th house to the ground. As always your tender words are like a balm to my restless spirit.

    Thank you for this, and for the terrific article by Tara Mohr. My process of gentle un-learning continues.

  7. Eryka

    My 4th house has been bruised and tender. Natally I have a stellium in 4th house Scorpio, with Venus conjunct Pluto, South Node, Juno, Sun, Saturn conj. Moon.
    Ironically, we’ve been quarantined with our Mum, and we’re both discovering the horror of our childhoods. Trauma is resurfacing but we are able to talk about it. I feel like I’m getting a second chance with all my most cherished dreams coming true.

  8. Vicki

    I didn’t enjoy it. I was home schooling, so it wasn’t peaceful, and online courses/work Zoom calls as well. I have Aquarius on the 4th house cusp, Neptune in Sagittarius in the 2nd and a Gemini Sun. Being confined, and not being able to go even into town if I wanted, let alone not being able to travel, has been really hard for me.

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