Britney to your left, Britney to your right. Every week there’s a new headline. Capturing Brit in a moment of weakness, distress, neglect, chaotic behavior has become a tabloid obsession. Today I’m happy to report, Brit’s finally giving those one in same tabloids the whirly bird – the blow off. It’s about time.

And they’re capitalizing on that, too. Britney flees the interview scene and then publish the story behind the missing story chronicling the outrageous behavior of the fleeing woman. Celebrity meets paparazzi: who’s crazier? It’s a twisted relationship. And like most heartless relationships, sooner or later, someone sees the nature of this mutually dependent partnership for what it is – sad. The press is feeding off Brit’s troubles and Brit needs help. Astrology can help.

Using astrology, let’s look retrospectively at the events that lead up to now. Britney’s “bad behavior” began in 2004 when she married whatshisname in Vegas. Neptune was transiting her natal Moon in Aquarius which trines Saturn in Libra. She got married drunk. Her emotional state (Moon) had been hijacked by Neptune, who wants emotional immersion, to be punch drunk on love. Self-medication accomplishes this nicely. So does spirituality, finding devotional love through another – say a Guru. But for numerous reasons beyond the scope of our analysis, that wasn’t Brit’s path. The next few years were spent looking for a wedding ring…in a bowl of split pea soup.

Flash forward to 2005. Think about the guy she marries this time – KFed. Not exactly the world’s most eligible bachelor. For one of the world’s most eligible bachelorettes, what gives? When a woman doesn’t choose an equal as her partner, something’s obviously awry in her ability to self-love. For a Sagitarrian, this love misstep is the equivalent of air being let out of a balloon. Sagitarrian Sun comes into the world with a thirsty enthusiasm for life, one that posesses (or mimics) incredible confidence. Brit’s self-esteem soon crumbles under the pressure to be authentic – a relationship happily shows you all your ‘holes’ on the way to ‘whole’. It’s as though she’d been given a precarious gift: ability and confidence. But with an expiration date. So when love walked in, grace cracked under pressure. And like a young Sag, she began desparately overcompensating to disastrous results. Britney’s natal Venus in Capricorn is tangling with Saturn in Libra, but they’re in one another’s signs, so are ultimately mutually supportive. This is the maturing face of love – the love lessons she encounters will yeild unwavering love. But like a maturing financial bond that appreciates in time, she won’t see this value before her Saturn return (ages 30-31 for Brit, years 2010 and 2011). The promise is: a partner who, as a stable setting might hold a precious diamond, elevates and holds Britney’s beauty and worth. But that’s a future time and story…

Tune in for part 2 of Brit Behaving Badly.