Pluto, Saturn and the South Node are all traveling very close together in the sign of Capricorn right now – and through the month of April. Peak times of intensity are around April 12th & 30th, though it is happening throughout the month, and has been at play during the month of March, too.
This morning, after reading my mentor Steven Forrest’s piece about the impact of this transiting nodal configuration on the collective, I asked myself my usual question: how can we work with this in our charts and lives? Individually, we respond to and create the shared field. Capricorn South Node’s involvement indicates that it’s time to release- to lose– some sticky, toxic stuff. How can we lighten our own load?
If, on a macro level we are dealing with abuses of power and authority, on a micro level we are having our own inner reckoning with the “power player” “controlling dictator” “fear monger” “petty tyrant” “authority abuser” “the overly responsible one” or “impoverished orphan” within. On a micro level, somewhere, perhaps in the very innermost corners of our lives and minds, this character lives and breathes.
For instance, how does it feel to be held hostage by a tyrant? Pretty awful. A tyrant’s tools are guilt, shame and a need to control others (out of fear). It barks unfriendly orders. It tears others, or itself, down. It insists that you are always wrong, and they are always right. It uses force. It creates drama, to distract from Truth. It insists you conform to external “reality”…and tells you there is only one reality. As if!
It’s astounding how many of us carry this internalized voice, inside. A critical parent can do this. Or an absent one. The child self thinks “if only I were more perfect” they would love me/be here, etc.
Yet the jig is up. Transits are like smooth water washing over ancient stones, wearing this conditioning down. Saturn transits inform us that we’ve matured and outgrown some behavior/belief/situation, and Pluto requires our honesty. And so with this configuration, it is time to take a hard, honest look and ask ourselves: Who is giving the orders around here? Who is insensitively and unfeelingly demanding that I be or do or believe this thing when the more authentic choice is something else entirely?
…Is our ancient fear of rejection and abandonment ordering us to conform to others’ wishes and desires instead of listen to what our true self, our Soul, wants and needs?
…Is our ancient fear of rejection and abandonment ordering others to conform to us?
…Is our shame, that if only we were more perfect then we would’ve gotten the love we needed, creating this vortex of feeling we can never get it right, or be loved, no matter what?
…Is our guilt –the feeling that if only we hadn’t disappointed another’s expectations, were more perfect, we wouldn’t be in this mess – keeping us stuck in a bad situation or relationship?
…Is our sense of responsibility keeping us obligated to a situation or person that is no longer for us?
…Are we believing that we are a failure in manifesting our “life mission” or “calling” (Capricorn) instead of seeing that our entire life – living our life, as it is, with presence and acceptance – IS our calling?
…What is it for you? Where is your particular aloneness and terror appearing? Where is fear, feelings of lack or impoverishment, inadequacy, a need to control dominating your consciousness?
…Look to 23 degrees Capricorn in your chart, and any planets you have at 22-23 degrees, for clues.
There is only one thing to do here: offer our self acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, kindness.
No matter how harsh it (we) acts towards our self, the “tyrant within”… is actually our pain.
Pluto always asks us to take a brutally honest look at what we don’t want to face. Ultimately, Pluto requires that we change our perception to move ahead. Core misperceptions that we have about our self and life. Perception is tricky. Habits of thinking shape our perception. It can be hard to see that our perception is shaping our reality. We are too busy thinking our thoughts are “real”.
Except, they’re not.
Mother Goddess Medicine
Here’s where tender feelings come into play. What confuses the inner tormentor most of all? Tears. Heart. Sensitivity. Gentleness. Tenderness. Acceptance. Vulnerability. Have you ever felt at the end of your rope, fallen apart, cried big fat elephant tears, and discovered that you could go on?
Or maybe you sat with someone who simply held space for you, and the answers appeared.
I’m speaking to the Cancer energies, which are a remedy for too much shadowy Capricorn.
Commit to gentleness. Commit to self-kindness. Commit to feeling it, no matter how icky.
In Evolutionary Astrology, we learn that the North Node holds medicine for the South Node dilemma. Cancer North Node is the cosmic medicine required to shift this configuration, within and without.
Try it, but don’t expect the dictator to understand your open, soft, heart. The inner tyrant is befuddled and bewildered by all this Cancer stuff. Yes! This is what we want. Confuse the mind! Throw a monkey wrench into the mental patterning you replay in your thinking, over and over, by committing to living in your Heart. Feel your feelings. Befriend yourself. Cry for what you lost. Cry for what you never had. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Forgive others, even if they don’t deserve it (but you do).
Regard your capacity to feel deeply as a strength — even when it hurts and sucks and you hate feeling this way. Use your own heart-centeredness to shift the energies into a lighter vibration.
There is great healing available here through facing your stuck and wounded parts and loving yourself, anyway. Imagine Cancer North Node as a warm, loving cosmic mother who has the unlimited ability to simply… love you. A prayer for this time might be: “Help me to fully accept and love myself as you do, Divine Mother.” Wherever I am, however I feel, no matter what. Love. Love. Love.
April is an intense month, and we’re barely there yet. I find myself grinding my teeth with relish, lately; I don’t think this is a coincidence. If you’re experiencing symptoms involving teeth, sexual reproductive organs, colon/digestion, and tension headaches during April, it’s all indicated by these energies.
So be extra EXTRA gentle with yourself. Look within with more honesty than ever, but don’t get stuck on what you find there. You are good, you are kind, you are perfect, you are whole. You are love.
If you want to befuddle a tyrant, don’t argue with them (it will never work). Accept and love them as they are. Truly. Now go do this with yourself. When you feel guilt, shame, stuck, despairing. Love your self.
… And remember, the parts make the whole. If we can liberate our self from that unkind, sadistic and un-feeling tormentor within, aren’t we doing our part for the good of all?